Did he just say Sex ED?
by just-a-crazyfanpire
Summary: A normal day, normal teachers, almost normal students. What could happen? But then appears in the schedule a new different course.
1. First look

**First look**

**Alice's POV**

I took Jasper by the arm and I buried my face onto his shoulder. I was laughing hysterically.

Don't think I'm crazy, because I'm not. I do have reasons. Very powerful reasons. My mind flied once again at them and I coughed, trying to cover my giggles.

Mr. Berty wasn't fooled. "Miss Cullen, you know something that you would like to share with us?" He was reading a chapter from _Romeo and Juliet_. The chapter were they had died.

I smiled. "No, Mr. Berty. I was just thinking at love, you know? It's very sad when two people that are in love, die. Like Romeo and Juliet. Only that they are not very inspired with the poison. I mean, there were so many methods to die, like jumping of a cliff" I giggled and Jasper too "or guns or swords or..."

"Ok, Miss Cullen. I think you may need to hold up yourself for the next hour." he cut me out quickly. I nodded, bouncing in my seat. He began to read from where I interrupted him.

I started to giggle again, only this time more quietly. Tyler looked at me confused and I stuck my tongue out at him. He frowned and turned to his seat.

"Ten minutes." Jasper murmured with a sigh.

_Edward, you told her? Trust me. It'll be better for her to know now, instead of later. I hope you're listening to me, right? Edward? _I screamed in my mind, as the bell rang.

I danced outside, with Jazz by the hand. "We have to go to the gym. We should meet the rest at the door in two minutes." I said it all breathless and Jasper nodded, not very happy.

I stroked his cheek as we ran and he smiled a little. "See? You don't have to be worried. I really want to see Bella's face." I giggled again.

We arrived at the gym and Edward was holding Bella by the waist. _Thanks, Edward, _I thought, seeing how nervous Bella was. He grimaced, but then shrugged.

"Please, tell me this isn't going to happen. I mean, I'm not ready for this." she looked at the clock. "Well, we still have time to go." she smiled at Edward, but I interfered.

"Don't even think about it. I already see you inside." I sang.

_You told her everything, Edward? Everything, everything?_

"Only half." he mumbled too low for Bella to listen. Then I saw her face when she'll find out and I bit my lip, trying to restrain my laugh.

"Ok, but if this is so important, why Emmett and Rosalie aren't here?" she asked hopefully. She and Rose weren't in very great relanshioship.

"You don't wanna know." I whispered and she looked at me in shock.

Yep, she found out.

I saw Edward pinching his bridge nose with his fingers. "Don't remember me." he whispered through his clenched teeth.

We heard a _bang! _coming from the lockers and me and Edward sighed. Jasper, of course, knew, feeling their emotions. Only Bella gasped. Emmett was on the ground with his shirt inside out and with his face full of lipstick and Rosalie's hair was scattered, her eyes big as she saw Mr. Mason approaching.

"Quick. Get up." she mumbled and tried to get out of the locker.

_Oh my Gosh_.. _They're so pathetic_. I laughed and I looked at Jasper, who started fanning himself. I laughed even more. "Not good, not good." he repeated.

Mr Mason got at them and he looked really furious. "Mr Cullen. Miss Hale. Would you please tell me what this is about? I hope that you're not using the lockers for your entertainment, if I may say so."

"Of course not, Mr Mason. We apologize. Emmett was feeling a little sick." Rosalie smiled seductive at him, but he remained composed. That made Rosalie fume.

"So if a student is sick, you just put him into a locker, am I correct?" he asked sarcastically. "Well, that's a very good treatment." he continued.

"Sorry, Mr. Rosalie convinced me to do this. This isn't my fault." Emmett cried and I took Bella, both shaking from laughter. Rosalie turned to Emmett, sending lasers through her eyes.

Mr Mason nodded, giving them another disapproving look and then went to the gym. Rosalie punched Emmett, yelling at him. "My fault? That was my fault?"

Bella took Edward by the hand and I took Jasper. Emmett was walking alone and Rosalie too. She had her arms crossed. I saw six empty seats in the corner of the gym and I ran there. In front of us, was a stage with a microphone and with a projector.

_Well, Bella will be ok afterwards. No need to be panicked, Edward or else I will say to Jasper to focuse on you._

The babbling was high in the gym. Of course, mostly was coming from Jessica. She was seating in front of us with Lauren, Mike, Angela and Ben. Angela turned to smile at us and I waved at her. _Why someone like her could stay with someone like Jessica? _I saw that Edward shook his head disgusted.

"Ok, so, when it's over?" Bella asked, shifting uncomfortable in her seat.

"Soon. It will not take more than an hour." Edward said, stroking her cheek.

"An hour? Are you kidding me?"

"Relax, Bella. It will be educative for you and Edward, don't you think?" Rosalie attacked again Bella, who frowned at her.

"Oh, thanks, Rosalie." she murmured. "Maybe you and Emmett will learn more about privacy."

"I'm sorry, but I'm not sexually repressed." she smiled smugly and Edward's jaw locked with a thud.

"Go get them, honey." Emmett cheered.

"Shut up Emmett. She doesn't need encouragement. She is vain all by herself." Bella replied, letting Rose with no words. Only with a death glare directed to Bella.

"Jasper, I really want to hear. I know it's funny" I said with a giggle as three pairs of topaz eyes turned to me "but Mr Mason will start speaking in almost ten seconds." I mumbled and I looked at them. A wave of calm hit us and I kissed Jazz, happy. "Thanks." He smiled lovingly .

I turned to the stage, when I heard a noise. Apparently, Mr Mason was trying the microphone. "One, Two, Three... Works?" Some of the students moaned when a sharp noise went through the gym. Bella covered her ears and Rosalie rolled her eyes.

"So, I'm very happy to have you here, today. Like in every may, we have a course named Sexual Education, shortly Sex Ed." He was covered by groans and whistles. I clapped and Emmett joined me, smirking. "Please, this is very important, even more now when you're about to start your sex life."

Bella blushed, burying her face into Edward's chest and he brushed gently her hair, trying not to growl at Rosalie, who was smiling. Jasper closed his eyes and leaned on the chair.

"I prepared for you a movie and of course, a contest. It will be very easy, and that will prove me if you're mature enough to take care of responsibilities. Because, if you knew it or not, sex means responsibility."

Bella flinched and mumbled into Edward's chest. "Please, I'm begging you. Don't say again the 's' word."

"It will be over soon, love. Don't worry." Edward continued whispering in her ear.

Bella gasped and almost fell from her chair. "Wait. Did he just said movie? A movie about..." She didn't finish, she shook her head and Edward looked at Jasper.

"Jazz." he said shortly and Bella calmed down.

"Relax, Bella." She did. "It will be nothing too horrifying. Alice can tell you." I nodded, smiling ear to ear.

She didn't seem convinced. "The movie will be... entertaining." She hadn't noticed my hesitation. "Edward can tell you too. Right Edward?" I continued.

_If you want her to faint, ok, tell her the truth_, I threaten him.

"You're a little monster." he whispered under his breath. "Yes, Bella, Alice is right." He said, not looking into her eyes.

We turned to Mr. Mason.

"For our first class this year, we also invited a father to talk about this subject. You'll soon know of who am I talking about. I'm positive that you all know him." I exchanged a glance with Edward. Bella caught it.

"And now... The contest. I need two couples to come on the stage." He looked across the gym and not even a student was with his hand up. "Well, if nobody wants to, I will be forced to choose then."

As he was searching the gym again, I restrained myself from giggling. Jasper looked at me curious. "Ok, who will be the unlucky ones?"

Edward kicked Rosalie's chair and she got up, throwing death glares at him and then to Bella. The others turned to her, with their eyes huge of surprise. After a second of staring they began to applause. "So Miss Hale and his partner are happy to join us. Please, children, come on the stage."

"You will regret this, Edward." Rosalie hissed and with Emmett by the hand, they went up on the stage.

"Another couple and we're done. Come on, don't be ..." He started, but Rose cut him out.

"If I can make a suggestion." she said on a sweet tone.

"Sure, Rosalie."

"I'm very preoccupied because of my brother, Edward. He has problems... you know, in his relanshioship with Bella." She said, pouting and Emmett burst in laughter.

Edward's head snapped and frowned in her direction. Bella panicked, and caught Edward by the arm, holding him very tight.

"Maybe Mr Cullen and Miss Swan can join us too?" I heard Mr Mason say and I couldn't control myself. I started to laugh hysterically, falling from my chair. Jasper helped me to get back on my seat, still chuckling.

Edward tried to compose himself, and Bella's face was blank, her heart racing in her chest. He took her by the waist, not letting her falling down and they went to join them.

"Thank you very much, Rosalie." he hissed at her.

I saw how Jessica was looking after him and how Mike was drooling at Bella's sight. _Oh Goodness.._

Ok, I hope that she is tough. Bella, you can't disappoint me. Please. Don't faint. For me.

I caught Edward's glare and I smiled innocent. He put his fingers on his bridge nose and I assumed because of the students because then started the gossip.

"Whoa.. Look at Rosalie." Austin whispered to Tyler. "Great legs." they both said.

"It's me or Emmett got bigger?" Lauren was telling to Angela who wasn't paying to her.

"Mike, don't look at Bella." Jessica mumbled to Mike. "Look who's talking.. Take your eyes off of Cullen." he replied furious.

"Silence, children. Ok, so the contest will be a quiz one." Groans. "I told you it was very easy." he continued, ignoring them. "It will be twenty questions, ten for each couple. We'll see who is much more prepared for responsibility." he emphasized the last word.

Bella put herself behind Edward, her red face buried in his shoulder. He was still glaring at Rosalie, who had her arms crossed. Emmett looked amused. Of course.

"As Rosalie and Emmett had a _great_ time this morning in the locker" the gym was filled with laughter and I giggled, remembering "I will begin with them." Mr Mason said and he took out of his jacket a paper.

"Bring it." Emmett grinned.

**So, this is chapter 1. What do you think? :)  
**

**P.S: Thank you very much **** :) I made the changes.  
**


	2. Rosalie and Emmett

**Thank you very very much for your reviews. They made my day.** **:)**

**Thanks _'nilla0609_ for your suggestion. ;) **

**Rosalie and Emmett**

**RPOV**

"_As Rosalie and Emmett had a great time this morning in the locker" the gym was filled with laughter and I giggled, remembering "I will begin with them." Mr Mason said and he took out of his jacket a paper. _

"_Bring it." Emmett grinned._

Ok, let's see the questions. Better not be boring. I don't have time to lose. But, I think they will be very beneficent for you and Bella, right Eddie? I raised my eyebrows at him and he growled.

As Emmett took my hand, I could see the audience. Some of them were bored like I was, others were curious, and others excited. From the corner of the gym, Alice waved at me, smiling as Jasper played with her spiky hair.

I turned unwillingly to see Bella and she blushed even more because of my glare. Edward kissed her forehead and patted her shoulder. _Oh please. She's not afraid of me, isn't she?_

"Why she should be afraid of you, Rosalie? She knows much more than that." Edward hissed back. Nobody seemed to notice our short conversation, not even Emmett who was overexcited next to me.

I scowled at Edward.

"Ok. I looked on the quiz and I found out that some questions are not very appropriate for you. For that, it will be some of them identical for both couples." Mr Mason said and I waited for the first one to be shot.

"Oh, but I was waiting for the dirty ones." Emmett mumbled pouting, but recovered quickly because Mr Mason opened his mouth.

"So. First question will be for both of you." He looked at me and then at Emmett. "_What means the word 'sex' for you?_"

"That's easy. That means everything is related with Rose." He grinned at me and then made that stupid kissy face. I punched him in the gut.

"For me, 'sex' means a physical relanshioship that brings with it many emotions." I said simply and Mr Mason nodded.

"Very good answer Miss Hale." He scowled at the tiny paper of questions. "Well, I suppose that it's very obvious the answer of the next question, but whatever. _Did you began your sex life?_"

"Hell yeah." Emmett smirked and I heard some of the students gasp. I just nodded.

Behind me, Bella was trying to convince Edward to go. "Please, Edward? Please. If I'm not dead in one minute, it'll be a good sign."

"Bella, stay calm. I will protect you no matter what. I'm here, ok? I told you, it's just an hour."

"Yeah, an hour. Enough for me to have a heart attack." she whispered sarcastically. "Please?"

_Don't even think about it. You heard me? You put me in this stupid thing, so all four of us will stay._

A wave of calm hit us and Bella shut up. I looked at Jasper and he was smiling at us. I nodded in his direction, relieved that he saved me from calming Bella in my way.

Emmett squeezed my hand. "Pay attention. Here comes the next question."

"Oh my God. I'm afraid to ask." I heard Mr Mason say to himself. "Third one. _At what age did you began?_"

Emmett looked at me confused and I said confident "Two years." _Two years give or take a century_, I continued to myself.

"Well, that's a lot." I heard Lauren whispering.

"Two years? Why I'm not surprised?" Jessica mumbled and I glared at her. Her face turned red and she turned quickly to Mike. "I swear, she looked like she heard me." she giggled embarrassed.

So right but so wrong..

"This is for you, Emmett. _How many times a day or week do you have sex?_" Mr Mason took from his jacket a handkerchief and patted his forehead.

"Well let's see.." He began to number on his fingers. "On a day.. One, at home.. two, in the Volvo.." I heard Edward hiss behind us and I was terrified to turn "...three in the Porsche, four... I got it. Six times." He said with a smug smile and Mr Mason's eyes got bigger and bigger. He patted one more time his forehead.

"What? Emmett, what did you say? In my Porsche?" Alice got up of her chair, looking at us, like she wanted to kill us. I smiled at her apologetic, but she wasn't touched. She continued to shake his head till Jasper took her by the hand and calmed her down.

"But.. Jasper, didn't you heard what he said? They're using my precious car for their little fantasies. Disgusting..." Alice babbled and I tried to block her.

"You should watch out, Rosalie. She's really mad." Jasper said and I grimaced.

Great..

"Did he just said... six times? On a day?" the gossip in the gym started again and Mr Mason cleared loudly his throat.

"Please, silence." He almost shouted. "Six times on a day?! This is insane. Ok, I won't ask them on a week." He mumbled to himself and his face turned red, for the first time.

_I wonder how many times does he have sex on a day. I bet not even two times. _

Edward coughed, trying unsuccessfully to cover his laugh.

"I guess it's time for the fifth one. _What do you know about protection?_"

"We don't actually need it, because we are..." Emmett started, but I stepped on his foot before he could say anything.

"_Ow_.." he shouted and I frowned at him. "Sorry."

"Protection is very important in intercourses. Will help the woman from an unexpected pregnancy or both of them from the diseases." Mr Mason nodded.

Well, the word _pregnancy _was forbidden for me.

"Diseases. Yes. So this drives us to the next question. _How many diseases by sexual transmission you know?_"

"I know this one. The most powerful and lethal is the HIV virus. The person who will have it, will be sentenced to death." Emmett grinned triumphal and he turned to wink at Bella. She, of course, blushed. "Of course, that won't be our case, honey." he whispered in my ear and I giggled.

"Ok, but take a step backwards. I didn't forgive you completely for this morning." I threaten him, looking innocent.

"Oh come on. Won't you forgive your _husband_?" he whispered and I shrugged. Knowing that he won, he winked at me, with a huge grin on his face.

He leaned over to kiss me and our lips crashed, causing gasps in the gym. Emmett put his hands around my waist and I growled when Mr Mason interfered between us. "Please, no demonstrations."

The room was filled with laughter and I turned to see Bella laughing too, having Edward by support. He looked at me amused and I restrained myself from reacting as Alice. I was going to stick my tongue out at them.

_Jealous, Eddie?_

"You wish." he chuckled.

"Please Mr Cullen and Miss Hale. Behave or I will be forced to keep you in detention." he mumbled and I shrugged indifferent. "Ok, so, next question. _Have you ever tried to be with one of your sex?_"

Someone burst out laughing in the gym and I searched the room till I found Alice laying again on the floor.

"Jasper tried once." Emmett grinned at him and Jasper scowled horrified.

"Are you insane?" Jazz shouted. "You were the one who insisted to watch those movies."

_God, too many informations_.

"I knew it, I knew it." Mike laughed, but he shut up immediately when five pairs of eyes turned to him.

"What? Emmett and Jasper... tried to.. Oh no no no." Bella shook her head.

"Don't believe Emmett, Mr Mason. He's lying." Alice waved her finger widly at us.

Mr Mason blinked twice and then returned to his paper. With the handkerchief, he patted again his forehead. "I must had been crazy when I agreed to this." he whispered to himself and then looked up at us. "You have three questions more. _What's the definition of gay?_"

"Mike Newton." we both said.

I heard giggles and some of the students were pointing at Mike, amused.

"It's not true. I'm the most heterosexual man on earth." he proclaimed himself and I took Emmett by the arm, because I was laughing so hard.

"Yeah, but when it comes to sex, darling..." Jessica whispered in his ear and Edward chuckled, with his face in Bella's hair.

"We are very close. Well, the ninth one will be easy. _You're sex addicts?_"

I froze, Emmett grinned like an idiot and Edward laughed. "What an obvious answer." I glared at him.

"If you don't mind _Rose_, I will answer for you." Bella giggled, emphasizing my name. "Yes, Mr Mason, they are, believe me." She nodded in his direction.

"No, we aren't."

"Who you're trying to lie, Rose? The audience or yourself?" Bella raised her eyebrows and I hissed at her. Emmett continued grinning and I crossed my arms, furious.

Mr Mason took a deep breath and then sighed relieved. "The last one. _Define your partner in 4 words_."

Emmett looked at me from top to toe and then winked. "Hot, sexy, gorgeous, tenacious."

"Strong, handsome, funny, idiot." I smiled lovingly at him.

Mr Mason nodded and sighed one more time. "Thank you... very much, Rosalie and Emmett. That was... good, I think. You knew most of the answers, although some of them are hardly to believe."

"I guess it's your time, Edward. Afraid?" I whispered.

"Why should I be?" he asked rhetorically.

"I don't know. Maybe because you and Bella haven't made sex yet!?" I giggled. Bella looked at me, smiling ironical.

"We'll see." Edward mumbled with a grin.

** Chapter 2. I hope you like it. :) **


	3. Edward and Bella

**I'm not Stephenie Meyer. I own nothing.**

**I love you so much. Thanks for the reviews, I'm very happy that you like it.**

**Edward and Bella  
**

**EPOV**

Rosalie and Emmett went behind us, and Bella took my arm. I was surprised to find that she was smiling. I didn't know if it was a reaction at Rosalie's comment or if she was enjoying this. I doubted it.

"What's so funny?" I whispered in her ear and she giggled, kissing the top of my nose. I looked suspicious at her. She was acting weird.

"I figured out something and.. I think I have an idea." she whispered back and I raised my eyebrows. She just shook her head.

_Wow, I wonder what the idea is about_, Rosalie thought and I glared at her.

From what I have seen, the questions are quite simple. Bella will probably blush, but there is no reason for her to be afraid. I am here with her, not letting her side. I will protect her no matter what. Actually, I am more nervous because of the students. Some of their thoughts are absolutely outrageous, not to mention Mike, who really piss me off. The way he is looking at Bella, _my _Bella, his thoughts... Well, Jessica's are worse.

Mr Mason took a deep breath and looked for a brief second at me and then, at Bella. _I hope that they are more human, _he thought and I chuckled.

"Miss Swan and Mr Cullen, first question. _What means the word 'sex' for you?_"

"From the Merriam-Webster's Dictionary, 'sex' means the sum of the structural, functional, and behavioral characteristics of organisms that are involved in reproduction marked by the union of gametes and that distinguish males and females." I said and the students turned to me, speechless.

Bella lifted an eyebrow and I kissed her forehead, smiling. Rosalie let out a groan and I ignored her. _Maybe you should write a novel about that, Eddie. I'm sure it will have success, _Emmett thought.

"Wrong." Alice sang and in a second, she was on the stage, next to us.

_Please, Alice, _Jasper begged as he walked towards us.

When he got on the stage, I started to feel uneasy and embarrassed. I wanted to run and scream. I shot a glance at Jasper and he understood immediately.

"'Sex' means also an interaction between a female and a male because they are passionately in love or because they want to have fun." _Especially because of the second one. _"That includes feelings and emotions, like Rosalie said before." she finished her speech, with a huge smile on her tiny face.

Emmett clapped enthusiastic and Mr Mason looked puzzled. "Well, that was... unexpected." _And weird. _"And for you, Miss Swan?" She blushed.

"Um... _that_ means.. um, like they said." she mumbled as she pointed at me and Alice.

My eyes made contact with Alice's and I froze, my hand interlocked with Bella's. She felt my reason and for my surprise, she smiled. She kissed quickly my cheek and whispered "Please. For me." I continued to look at her shocked.

"Ok, so, the next question. _Did you began your sex life?__"_

"Yes."

"No."

Bella and I said at the same moment and I turned to her. She nodded.

"Yes, Mr Mason." she repetead. "We did."

Then it started. _Uh-Oh.. What? _Mike screamed in his head.

_What a waste_.

_Ok, you have to be kidding me. I mean, she lies, right? Edward, if you did, we would have heard it, but we didn't, so... _Rosalie babbled and I tried to skip her quickly. Emmett wasn't more composed. He was grinning at me.

Only Alice and Jasper were quiet. Alice must have told him. She wasn't paying attention, she was concentrating on something.

"Bella, you shouldn't have..." I started but she interrupted me.

"Look, it's just an inoffensive game. Please?" she looked deeply into my eyes.

"But you don't know that..."

"Please?" she cut me of again. I smiled and then I nodded.

_Oh God, it's a couple in this high school that hadn't started their sex life?! _Mr Mason thought. "_Where it would be the perfect place?_"

"I think... on the beach." Bella whispered and I frowned. "Um, not La Push." she continued and I relaxed. Well, good to know.

"The meadow." I said simply and I saw Bella blush.

"The meadow. How sweet! I mean, I can arrange all and everything. It'll be perfect. Oh, Edward, I'm allowed to put candles? Or roses? I think I saw that on a movie. It was so romantic. And Bella, I can find you a very beautiful dress. Blue, right Eddie? By the way, Jasper, we really should...." Alice babbled.

"Enough, Alice." I hissed. "Don't get carried away."

"Children, silence. We still have seven questions. I just want it to be over. So _Did you ever cheat on your partner?_" Mr Mason asked and Emmett burst in laughter.

"Right Eddie, did you?" he laughed.

"What a stupid question." I mumbled.

"What?" Bella gasped. "Of course not, this is stupid."

"Are you sure, Bella?" Mike screamed and winked at her. I pinched my bridge nose and I took a deep breath. I just wanted to rip his head off. Alice stepped me on the foot. "Sorry." I whispered at her.

"Shut up, Mike." Bella shouted. I looked at her surprised.

"Edward, you're sure that you don't have a reason to be suspicious?" Rosalie said and she giggled. "Cut it out." I fumed.

"Calm down, please. It was just a question. Mr Cullen!" he said, looking at me disapproval and then turned to his paper. "_What do you think about one night adventure?_"

"A nonsense." I said.

"Awesome." Emmett grinned.

"What?" Rosalie screeched. She punched him in the gut.

"Well, I suppose it's better to have sex in a hotel than in my Porsche, Rose, don't you think?" Alice replied.

"Or to be forced to see disgusting movies just for fun, right Emmett?" Jasper mumbled sarcastically.

"That wasn't the question about. And by the way, I asked Edward and Bella, not _you_." Mr Mason interrupted them. _It's insane. They are insane. What have I done to receive this? _"Bella, would you say a word, please?"

"It's a rubbish." she murmured. "For a relantionship, this is lethal. I don't think men, especially boys" she said looking at Emmett "have to do that." I kissed her forehead and she smiled at me.

"Why you looked at me when you said that?" Emmett asked. Bella giggled with Alice on her side.

_I don't understand. Why Alice and Jasper need to be here? I didn't tell them to join. _"_What do you think is better? The pills or the condoms?_"

"What a joke. Edward and Bella don't need it because..." Emmett started, but Alice was quicker. She put her hands on his mouth, not letting him to slip a word.

_What the...? Did he wanted it to say that... she's pregnant?" _Mr Mason screamed in his head and I sighed. I was sure that he will jump at that conclusion.

"What Emmett tried to say is that.. Edward and Bella don't need it, because they took a break. I mean, you know, when you're love is so intense and stuff. You have to relax a little. Have you ever experimented it, Mr Mason?" Alice to the rescue. I smiled grateful and his face turned from pink to deep red.

"This isn't about my sex life. I don't need Sex Ed. That's for you, children." he stuttered. "Well, I'm waiting for the answer."

"Condoms." "Pills." We said together and we started to laugh.

_Idiot, _Rosalie thought. _When it's over by the way?_

"The both of them are important. Hadn't they watched tv till now?" he said to himself the second one and I chuckled.

Of course I'm watching tv. From a century.

"_What's the definition of bisexual?_"

"Emmett Cullen." Jasper answered quickly, glaring at him. "You said that you tried to be with me, remember?" he continued when he saw his puzzled face.

"If you hadn't handed over all that lust, maybe I would have behaved."

"Yeah, right Em. Like you could. You're like a tornado. When it's turn on, you can't stop it. That's why you make such a cute couple with Rose." Alice smiled ear to ear and I saw what she was planning. I bit my lip to restrain the laughter, but a chuckle escaped from my lips. I tried to look like I coughed.

"I asked Edward and Bella. Please?" Mr Mason said through his teeth.

"I think like Jasper." Bella mumbled. I nodded in agreement.

"Love you too sis." Emmett replied.

"Ok. Next. _What do you understand by incest?_"

"Rose and Emmett."

"Alice and Jasper."

They said in choir and I could see the students' faces. They were confused, but however amused, like I was. Bella let out a giggle and I thought that she was happy because she wasn't the center of attention.

"You know very well that we aren't related, Alice." Rosalie hissed.

"So are we." Alice scowled.

"Emmett, if Rosalie will scream at Alice again, I will..." Jasper started, but he was interrupted.

"Stop it cowboy. _Your _Alice screamed at my Rose. Wouldn't I be angry too?" Emmett asked. _We should do this more often. _

Great, he saw this like a game.

"Are you Edward and Bella?" Mr Mason shouted desperate. "I'm asking them, not you, for goodness sake." He relaxed under Jasper's contribution and took a deep breath. "I'll repeat the question. What's an incest?"

"A relantionship between two members of the same family." Bella whispered. Mr Mason nodded and passed to the next one.

"_What would you do if the woman gets pregnant?_"

Bella blushed, looking at me. I opened my mouth to speak but I was immediately interrupted.

"That's the problem. I can't keep the secret anymore, Rose. I love you, believe me, I do, but it's for your own good." Alice said poutingly and she turned to the audience. "Rosalie's pregnant. She will have a baby."

I heard a lots of gasps and some of them were shocked. I started to laugh and Bella giggled, holding my arm to not fall down. Mr Mason's face was priceless. He looked like he could faint in any moment.

"WHAT? Have you completely lost your mind?" Rosalie shouted.

"Look, I'm very worried about you. And Jasper too. I thought that if I will share this with them, you'll be happy." Alice made the puppy dog and Rosalie scowled, furious. "Revenge, Rose, revenge." she spoke at vampire speed.

"Say something." Rosalie said to Emmett.

"You're really pregnant?" He asked and I laughed even more.

"No you idiot, of course not. I'm not pregnant." she screamed for all of us to hear. Mr Mason relaxed a bit, but he took again the handkerchief from his jacket and patted his forehead.

"Ok, everything is ok, she's not pregnant. Relax." He mumbled to himself and closed his eyes for five seconds. _Let's get over it. _"_Define your partner in 4 words._"

I exchanged a glance with Bella and she smiled lovingly. "Kind, protective, loving, thoughtful."

"Adorable, brave, stubborn, clumsy." I grinned, kissing her hand.

_Finally, it's over. _"Thank you very much, Edward and Bella. As we finished with the contest, and there is no winner because they knew as well as Rosalie and Emmett, it's time to find out who is our guest."

Bella got curious and I just wanted to disapear. Alice saw my mood and Jasper too. A wave of calm hit us but didn't last too much.

I heard Bella gasp when _our guest _entered the gym.

"Please, greet Chief Swan." Mr Mason announced and Bella shook her head violently.

**I'm sorry if it's not funny :( I had an awful week and it's still not over. I hope you enjoy it! :)**


	4. OOPS she did it again

**I own nothing. Stephenie Meyer does, I just took them at Sex Ed.**

**Thanks for the reviews :) and I'm very happy that you like it.**

**OOPS she did it again**

**BPOV**

I sighed relieved when Mr Mason announced that we finished with the questions. One more and I would be running out from gym. Well, to be sincere, I really enjoyed seeing Rosalie's face when I said that we started our sex life. It was priceless. Not to mention Emmett's. He was probably thinking at what costumes he might gave us.

"Thank you very much, Edward and Bella. As we finished with the contest, and there is no winner because they knew as well as Rosalie and Emmett, it's time to find out who is our guest."

I took Edward by the arm and I looked curious at the entry, to see who's coming. He froze, but I didn't pay attention. Who was so reckless to come here, to present a stupid course about sex!? I mean, it's stupid.

The door opened and a man made his way to the stage. I gasped in terror, not feeling anymore my legs. Probably because they were shaking so much. What the heck? Why on Earth did he....?

"Please, greet Chief Swan." Mr Mason announced and a couple of students looked at him surprised.

No, no no no no, I shook my head. I began to feel dizzy. Edward brushed my hair gently but I pushed him away quickly. Charlie would die if he saw us that way. Rosalie giggled and I frowned. Alice took my arm, smiling apologetic. Didn't help.

Charlie was embarrassed and I could say it because of his face. It was bright red, and he was walking towards us with his head down.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked Alice. I started to feel a fuzzy feeling in my stomach and I thought that was Jasper.

"Sorry. I saw that you would have ditched class, so we decided not to tell you." We? Of course. I glared at Edward and he was frowning at Alice.

"I wanted to tell her." Edward hissed.

"Doesn't matter now. The thing is that Charlie is here." I cried and I felt once more that fuzzy feeling. "Damn it Jasper." I whispered and I heard a chuckle.

I took a deep breath as Charlie approached and I saw a flicker in his eyes when he saw me. I waved at him, trying to smile. I only made a grimace. I would have killed in this moment just to get out of here.

"Pleasure to have you here, Charlie." _Oh, tell me about it. _Mr Mason and he shook hands.

"Me too." he mumbled and came near me. "What are you doing here, Bella?" he whispered to me.

"Same question. I study here, but you?" I was rude, I know, but I couldn't help it. It was so embarrassing to have my dad here, and especially, at Sex Ed.

"I thought you were at work." I continued.

"I was. I mean, I am. I just received a letter from school to present this.." he stopped abruptly, shrugging.

"And you thought you would like to agree. Dad, please accept it, you are as embarrassed as I am." Now I understand why he told me this morning that he'll have a dangerous mission to accomplish.

"Look Bells, I'm your father. It's my right to come here and teach you about _this_. You have a boyfriend and you'll soon... you know..." he stuttered, looking at me and Edward. I felt my face getting reddish and reddish.

Someone burst in laughter and I looked up to see who it was. My eyes narrowed when I saw Rosalie grinning mischievously and Emmett on the ground. On my left, Alice was babbling at top speed. "Are you insane? You can't say that, Charlie is here. You know it was a joke, she wasn't expecting for you to believe it. Edward will...."

I couldn't understand very much. She was speaking too quickly. I turned to see Edward, but his face scared me. He looked like he would kill Emmett and Rosalie in any moment. What the....? Well, green light from me. Rosalie was too mean.

"I'm so sorry to interrupt you, Charlie." Rosalie said, smiling apologetic. "But I have to..."

I gasped when Alice disappeared from my side and appeared next to Rosalie, holding her mouth.

"What are you doing, Miss Cullen?" Mr Mason asked stunned.

"Nothing. It's just that.. she has a really hard period because of her pregnancy." she smiled and I giggled. When Emmett heard the 'pregnancy' word he recovered and stood still.

I swear, he looked like he believed Alice. Well, if he did, I wouldn't be surprised. I giggled again. I exchanged a glance with Edward, and he was probably thinking the same thing. I took his hand and he squeezed gently mine.

"What? Rosalie's pregnant?" Charlie gasped, looking terrified at her and then turned to me. He was staring at my stomach.

Oh, please, tell me he's not wondering if I'm pregnant too. Edward sighed and I was afraid to look in his eyes. I didn't know what I could find there. Relief, worry, sadness?

Rosalie shook her body and Alice let her go. She threw lasers through her eyes at the pixie one. "Stop saying that. I'm not pregnant and I won't be ever." she shouted.

A couple of students whistled and others gasped. This is not good, this is not good. How can she slipped that way?

"_Damn it." _Edward said.

"Why are you saying this, Rosalie?" Mr Mason asked and I could see Charlie's curiosity. I took a glance through the room and I realised that the audience was curious too to know. Great...

"Because she's.. she's too young... yet and because... she's not willing to lose her figure." I said, trying to rescue the situation. I looked up to find a grinning Emmett, a bouncing Alice, a proud Edward, a bored Jasper and an angry Rosalie.

What? I saved her. It wasn't supposed for her to be happy?!

"Oh, I see." Mr Mason mumbled and I heard Charlie sighing. "So, now we can start please?" He begged and my dad nodded. I panicked, not knowing what could possibly happen.

I took a step backwards, still holding hands with Edward. He was calm, well he looked like he was calm at least. He knew what was next, as Alice. "They are trying to open the movie, right?" I muttered and he chuckled. I made a grimace. I knew it was getting worse.

"But nothing to worry about. It'll be about diseases" he stopped, looking at me for a second and then continued "and about condoms."

"Oh no" I groaned. He kissed my forehead, aware that Charlie could look in any second.

"Don't worry. It'll be short."

I sighed defended and I waited for the torture to begin.

"I'm sorry to interrupt you, Mr Mason, but we were curious if we can go to our seats." God bless Alice.

"Oh sure. You can go."

"Um wait. Can Rosalie and Emmett stay?" she asked innocent. "I mean, for the demonstration." Demonstration? What demonstration?

"Hell yeah. I can't lose a great show." Emmett grinned.

"WHAT? Emmett, you idiot. Of course not, I'm not staying." Rosalie fumed, and then began to have a vampiric conversation with Alice.

I turned to Edward, but he was trying so hard to restrain his laughter. "What's the demonstration about?" he didn't answer, he continued to look amused at me, and then with a short kiss on the lips, he took me at our seats.

The others were still on the stage and a noise filled the gym. The movie started and I buried my face into Edward's chest. Alice was near us in a second, so was Rosalie. The guys remained on the stage and from Alice's babbling I understood because of Mr Mason.

"Look how terrified is Jazz. I couldn't let him alone there, but Mr Mason insisted. I don't understand, Emmett knows as well as my little Jazzy..." Alice said poutingly, looking lovingly at her husband.

I startled when Edward burst in laughter and almost fell from the chair. Rosalie's head snapped and glared at him, probably thinking if he was having a breakdown.

"Edward... are you okay?" I asked, but he continued to laugh. I scowled confused. What was so funny? "Edward?"

He pointed at the stage and I saw Emmett and Jasper wrestle with a banana. I began to laugh hysterically and I fell over Rosalie, who pushed me away quickly.

"Rose, baby, look... They gave us bananas" Emmett shouted at us "and something weird in a pouch." he showed us a red pouch and I stopped laughing. I gulped.

I took immediately Edward's arm who calmed down and I pulled him closer.

The lights were turned off and the movie began. I put my hands in front of my eyes, not wanting to see something. I felt Edward kiss my hair.

Then it started. I heard the students gasping and one of the girls screamed. It was a loud and sharp scream. The boys whistled and others laughed. I looked up at Alice to find her eyes bigger than her small face and Rosalie with a disgusted expression. Edward shuddered and then buried his face in my hair.

"I didn't see that one coming." Alice shook her head.

I tried to see what was so horrible but Edward didn't let me. "You really don't want to see it."

A few moans came from the movie and I understood.

_Oh please no, not now when my dad is here._

"What the heck? Where is my movie? What's this stupid thing?" Mr Mason yelled desperate as I heard him trying to stop it.

The movie stopped and the lights were turned on. I looked up and I saw Emmett smirking at Rosalie. "That girl had a Cat Woman suit, like you have baby. You look really hot in those boots." He winked. Jasper took a step backwards, his eyes closed.

Edward pinched his bridge nose and I figured out that Emmett was showing him a mental picture of that.

"I want to know who replaced the original movie with this rubbish." Mr Mason was really furious. I was afraid to look at Charlie but I was too curious. His face was blank and his mouth open. From the shock, I assumed.

I met his eyes and I blushed. I was still on Edward's arms so I made an effort to push him gently away.

Alice's sharp giggle startled me and I looked at her, but she was staring at Jasper. Edward chuckled too. What the crap? The only ones who weren't laughing were Emmett, Rosalie and I.

"Ok, who was it?" I asked Edward and he showed me to look at Jasper.

He was concentrating on someone and for his direction, I could see that Mike was the target. Alice burst in laughter, all the students turning to her. I didn't understand at first, but as Mike's face got reddish and reddish, the giggles were about to kill me.

Mr Mason searched the gym to find the guilty one and he opened his mouth to speak, I mean to shout. But he was interrupted, by Emmett's, Alice's and Edward's laughter.

"I can't stand it. It's crucial." Mike screamed, his hands trembling. Jessica frowned at him, stunned. "What are you doing Mike? What's going on?"

"So you were Mr Newton. Detention after school for a week. And now, please get out of my class." Mr Mason yelled at him.

"But I wasn't.. I mean, I just.. It wasn't me." he cried.

"Oh, Mikey, don't be such a baby." Emmett grinned. _Look, who's talking.._

"GET OUT." Mr Mason shouted once more and, Mike left the gym with a horrified expression.

I giggled with the rest of the students and Jasper showed us thumbs-up. Alice blew a kiss at him.

"Ok, so who was the real guilty one?" I laughed.

"Austin and Tyler." Edward chuckled. "They were thinking at how to make this hour more interesting."

"They succeeded."

Charlie cleared loudly his throat till all the attention was on him. "Um yeah.. I was going to explain what was the movie about but now.." he shrugged.

I could easily translate: The movie is over so I better get the hell out of here.

"Charlie, we haven't spoke yet about condoms." Mr Mason reminded him and Emmett found out what were those pouches about. He threw them with a disgusted face.

"Eww.. and I thought they were ballons."

I laughed again, putting my head onto Edward's shoulder. Rosalie groaned in anticipation and when I was calmed enough I looked at the stage. Charlie was in the farther corner, Emmett and Jasper on center and Mr Mason near them.

"And now we have to teach you how to use the condoms." Mr Mason announced and I blushed. _Oh no.. _

"Tell me they aren't..." I stopped, not being able to continue.

"Actually, they are." Edward whispered in my ear.

"Yeah, but why do we need bananas?" Emmett was confused. Edward rolled his eyes. Half of the students laughed at his stupid question.

"Well, if you hadn't started your sex life two years ago, maybe you should have known."

_Crap, crap, crap, crap.._

At that, Charlie's eyes got bigger and he looked at Emmett, then at Rosalie, his eyes met mine for a second and then searched till they found Edward. His face turned from bright pink to red.

"That's right, Mr Mason." Rosalie nodded. "But we know how to use protection, instead of others." she continued, smirking at us.

I shook my head and with a knot in my throat I looked up at Charlie. He was fuming.

_Damn it, damn it.._

"Why are you saying that, Rosalie?" Charlie asked and I continued to shook my head at her, only this time more violently. Edward growled at her sister, a snarl growing in his chest.

"Oh you didn't know that Edward and Bella started their sex life?" Rosalie said innocent, playing with a lock of hair. With a short gasp "Oh." Charlie's face got blank and he landed with a _zbang_ on the stage.

_CRAP!_

**Chapter 4. I hope you enjoy it :) If you have any ideas for the next chapters, I'll be happy to hear them. **


	5. Shoot me, please

**I own nothing.**  
**Thanks nilla0609 for the suggestion, I took care of it. And thanks all of you for your reviews.**

**Shoot me, please  
**

**BPOV**

"Why are you saying that, Rosalie?" Charlie asked and I continued to shook my head at her, only this time more violently. Edward growled at her sister, a snarl growing in his chest.

"Oh you didn't know that Edward and Bella started their sex life?" Rosalie said innocent, playing with a lock of hair. With a short gasp "Oh." Charlie's face got blank and he landed with a _zbang_ on the stage.

_CRAP!_

_

* * *

_

I froze in my seat and Edward's arm tightened around my waist. Why did she do that? I know she hated me but... that was so mean. If she wasn't already dead, I was going to strangle her. I looked at her to see if she was sorry, but she smiled innocent. That pissed me off and I tried to jump off my seat, but Edward didn't let me.

"Let go of me. I'm going to rip her head off." I hissed staring at Rosalie.

"Please, calm down Bella. You can't do anything to Rosalie, you'll just hurt yourself and I think Charlie needs you right now." Edward whispered and I took a deep breath.

"You better listen to Edward, Bella. And believe me, I helped you, although you don't want to see." Rosalie giggled and I scowled in her direction.

"Come on, come on.. Please, please... Oh, hi Carlisle. Yeah, everything is fine.." I glared at her "..I mean it isn't.. It's just that.. well Charlie fainted and I think we need you here.. No, we're still at school... It's a long story. Oky doky, just.. hurry up" Alice closed her mobile and winked at me smiling.

I looked quickly at Charlie and he was still on the ground, the others just staring stunned at him. Emmett's mouth hang open and Jasper was more pale than ever – if that was possible. Mr Mason was as amazed as they were.

"Edward, do something." I bit my lip, worried.

"What can I do? He'll probably kill me. I mean, technically." he whispered.

"I don't know, just.. I can't see him like that."

Edward sighed defeated. We ran on the stage and I approached to him, searching if he was still alive. Well, although his face was purple, he seemed... normal. Edward made a sign to Emmett to help him and in a second he was near us, his face blank.

"Come on chief.. Take a deep breath and get up." Emmett said but Charlie was frozen like a statue.

"Dad?" I asked, wary.

"It's ok, Bella. He'll recover soon." At Edward's voice, Charlie's eyes flew open and jumped three meters backwards. I startled, gasping.

"Dad? Are you ok?" I asked again. His eyes were wary and he looked first at me then at Edward. He shook his head, horrified and I tried to reach his hand but he didn't let me.

I sighed and I took Edward's hand instinctively. Then Charlie's head snapped.

"Don't touch her. Did you listen to me? Don't touch her, or else I'm going to kill you." Charlie shouted at Edward, taking the first thing that he saw and Edward let go of my hand. I frowned at both of them and stubborn like I was, I took again Edward's hand.

I saw what he took. A banana. "Well, this isn't actually a weapon but you caught the picture." he continued.

Good thing he left his gun home.

"Dad, I'm an adult and I can do whatever crosses my mind. I'm not your propriety." I shouted back and his face turned to bright red.

"Miss Swan, why are you screaming at your dad?" Mr Mason intervened. "He was worried about you."

"Sorry, dad." I mumbled, taking a deep breath.

"Charlie, seriously I can't believe you actually trust in what Rosalie said." Alice bounced on the stage, holding Jasper's arm. He was still stunned. "You know what they say about blondes. She has a lot of imagination."

Rosalie fumed and threw lasers through her eyes to Alice, that if they were real, they would have probably made a hole in her head. "That's an insult at my address Alice. Why you can't let me alone for a second? Why you hate me so much?" Acting, acting and again acting. _She's so fake and so evil.. _

"I don't care. I don't want to see Bella next to... _this guy._" Charlie said through his teeth, pointing at Edward.

I scowled at him, squeezing Edward's hand. "That's not fair." I hissed and then the gym was buried in silence.

I and Charlie started a glare contest and I looked into his eyes more deeply. I was starting to have tears in my eyes.

But the silence was vanished by the door, that flew open and Carlisle entered the gym, smiling at us but yet confused. And I could understand him: Charlie was pointing with a banana at Edward, Rosalie was mad, frowning at Alice then at me, Emmett speechless and Alice was playing in Jasper's hair, looking exactly like a monkey. Mr Mason cleared his throat and we recovered.

"Oh, doctor Cullen." Mr Mason greeted Carlisle.

"I received a call from one of your students that someone was not feeling good. I thought that it was a good idea to come to see what happened." he said and then looked at us, his eyes stopping on Charlie. "Chief Swan, I see that you are fine."

"Yeah.. I was never much better than now." he hissed, staring at me and I blushed.

"Shoot me, please, shoot me right now." I whispered closing my eyes.

"Charlie's thoughts are more calm now that Carlisle is here." Edward whispered and I looked at him.

"He's thinking at saying that... stupid thing.. to him, right?" he nodded. "Damn it."

And my suspicions were true, because Charlie opened his mouth to speak. "You knew that our kids are having... s... se.. sex?" he blushed, but smiled triumphal to Edward.

Carlisle raised his eyebrows at me, then turned to Edward. I was surprised when he smiled and he seemed that he was trying very hard not to laugh.

"Yes, actually I knew." Carlisle answered and my surprise was so big that I almost choked.

Instead of Charlie, Emmett answered. "Hey, that's not fair. We didn't hear anything. Where you two made it? In the forest or in Bella's house?" Emmett scolded us like a mother that caught us taking cookies without her permission. _Shut up Emmett!_

When he said the last one, Charlie looked like he was going to faint again. Luckily this time Carlisle was here.

Rosalie punched him in the head and with inhuman speed, she opened the pouch and put a condom on Emmett's head. I heard a lot of "Eww`s" coming from the students. I made a grimace and Alice laughed.

Carlisle frowned at his children but he didn't say anything. Well, we knew that was their _normal_ behavior, so..

"Miss Hale, those aren't for your entertainment and.. for your knowledge, they aren't used on the head." Mr Mason said and I heard a few chuckles. I bit my lip, restraining my laughter and I looked at Edward. He was smiling amused.

"Well, that proves me that they don't know anything about protection and that Rose might be pregnant." Alice grinned and Carlisle hissed a low "What?" shooking his head from Alice to Rosalie.

"Cut it out, Alice." Rosalie fumed and the pixie one shrugged, amused that she could irritate her sister.

Charlie gasped and I startled. Carlisle got next to him. "Are you ok, Charlie?"

He shook his head. "I'm too young for a grandson, did you hear me?" he screamed at me and Edward and I blushed. "Look at me, mister, if you leave pregnant my baby, you'll meet my bullet." Charlie threatened him and I closed my eyes, being so embarrassed that I couldn't even look at my feet.

"Oh please.." I whispered to myself and Edward brushed gently my hair, trying to calm me down. I felt a little bit more calm and I looked up at Edward, smiling at him. I wanted to kiss him, but if I was doing that, probably Charlie would lock me in the basement.

Mr Mason cleared loudly his throat and looked quickly at his clock. "Well, from our hour remains only 15 minutes. So, I'm begging you all, to calm down" he said, staring at us and Jasper chuckled "and to continue the course." He waited till we nodded and then continued. "Ok, so, I brought this condoms, because I think you should learn more about protection and...." he was interrupted by the students' laughter and I saw a girl falling from her chair.

"Whoa — this is so cool." Emmett laughed and when I saw him, I burst in laughter, like the rest of the Cullens.

The condom was still on his head, only this time it was swollen and it looked like a ballon. Emmett's head was bigger than ever, now that the condom was on top of it. I saw Charlie laughing too, only that his eyes were between amusement and terror.

"Mr Cullen, take it off immediately." Mr Mason shouted, furious.

Emmett pouted and took it off. I was still giggling but I started to laugh again hysterically when I saw Alice laying on the floor.

"Children, please behave." Carlisle said and they straightened up. Mr Mason blinked at him and then frowned at Emmett.

"Now I'm sure that you don't know anything about protection." he said, taking from his jacket again the handkerchief and patted his face. "Jasper, please join us."

"Damn it!" he whispered and he went next to Emmett.

I went in the farther corner with Edward, Alice and Carlisle. Rosalie ran to her seat and Charlie was afraid to approach. I sighed.

"Actually, Doctor Cullen, as Chief Swan had _an accident, _you think you can join us too?" Mr Mason asked and Edward shook his head.

"Carlisle..." he started but seemed that Carlisle said something because Edward didn't say anything after.

"Sure." he answered and went between Emmett and Jasper.

"Now, Emmett and Jasper, take a condom and a banana." Mr Mason instructed them and I escaped a giggle. I saw Jasper's horrified expression as he touched the banana and Emmett winked at us. "Very good, now, what do you think you have to do with that?' he asked them and the two of them turned to me confused, shrugging.

"The banana isn't something to eat!?" Emmett asked his _genious_ question and the three of us laughed. Charlie crossed his arms, looking at them well actually through them. I didn't want to know his thoughts.

"Yes, Emmett, but now it isn't." Mr Mason's patience looked like it was to end. "Jasper, you know?" he asked optimistically but when Jasper shook his head, he took a very very deep breath.

Carlisle frowned at his sons and I saw his lips moving at vampire speed. Emmett's eyes lightened u, so did Jasper's and they said in choir: "We have to put the condom on the banana."

I blushed and I buried my face in Edward's chest. I heard a growl and I looked up to find Charlie very angry, glaring at us. I straighten up immediately, my face still red.

"Finally, yes, that's it." Mr Mason sighed relieved. "Doctor Cullen, can you say to the students why the protection is so important? I'm sure they know a little bit, but still."

"Of course." Carlisle smiled, turning to face the gym. "So, as many of you already know, the diseases are very unpredictable. That's when you need protection, especially when you don't want an unexpected pregnancy or if you know that your partner has a illness. What Emmett and Jasper are trying to show you today is how to use a condom. Many of you don't know how, because they didn't started their sex life or because they are immature and don't use it." he said.

Emmett took the banana and examined her. Then with a grimace, he turned to me. "How can you eat this?"

Jasper took disgusted the condom and tried to put it on the banana, but he didn't succeed. Alice pouted. "I knew I must have taught him."

Emmett tried too, but the condom slipped from his hands, falling on Tyler's face. "Gross" he screeched, jumping from his seat. The boy next to him laughed.

After five minutes without any victory, Mr Mason became angry and took a banana and a condom. He raised them in front of the class and yelled "So, this is how you use it." With fury, he put the condom on it, only that the banana couldn't make it and pieces from it fell on the stage.

The gym burst in laughter and Emmett showed thumbs up to Rosalie who smirked. Jasper came to Alice, and they looked in each other's eyes so I decided to skip them. I looked at Edward and he kissed my forehead. I heard Charlie then "I'm watching you, don't forget it." I sighed.

"That's not protection. That's brutality." Emmett said. "I like it." he said, winking at Rosalie and then he made a sign with his head at the lockers. I shuddered.

_I don't want to know._


	6. Homework SUCKS!

**I own nothing**.

**Homework SUCKS!**

**BPOV**

Mr Mason, with his bright red face, fell onto a chair and took a very deep breath, trying to calm down. I turned to face the audience. All I could see in the gym were stunned faces, hoo hoo's and hee hee's coming from Austin, Tyler and even from Ben and I saw a girl running outside. Well, that.. was actually good, I think..

"Do you think it's getting better?" I asked.

"If you count Emmett and Rosalie, then yes, it's getting better." Edward whispered and I felt a knot in my throat. Those two are going to kill Jasper soon.

I saw that Emmett wasn't anymore on the stage, but with Rosalie on the chair, kissing passionately. Jessica turned and when she saw them, she put her hand at her mouth and ran screaming. A few gasp were heard and Carlisle shook his head in disbelief.

Jasper was fanning himself and in a second, his face was on Alice's shoulder. I saw him shudder and next to me, Edward pinched his bridge nose, mumbling something under his breath. Charlie was again green and looked at me quickly, like he was expecting for me to do the same thing with Edward. _You wish, _I thought sarcastically, staring in his eyes.

I heard the bell and I sighed more relieved than ever. Emmett and Rosalie broke the kiss and they were grinning at us. Mr Mason straightened up and said to all of us "Ok, it's over." he mumbled, relieved as I was. "But since today is Friday, you'll have things to do. And for that, your homework..."

"What? This is so unfair. This was the only course we haven't had homework." a guy interrupted him.

"Well, now you have, so please, let me finish." he continued on a harsh tone. "For Monday, you'll have to do an essay about pregnancy. How is the egg formed, the stages he'll have to pass, how he grows into the womb and till the baby is ready to be born. If you have difficulties, Dr Cullen is here for you." Carlisle nodded. "I'm expecting some of you to have really good essays and remember those are for graduation, Seniors and to pass the year, Juniors. And one more thing.. This homework is for couples. I don't care if there are two girls as partners or boys, but there must be two."

When Mr Mason finished, I saw the girls taking their boyfriends' arms and looking from right to left, if there are _enemies_. I saw a hand raised in the front row and Edward cursed under his breath. It was Eric and when I looked at him, he winked. He lifted a paper where it was written _PARTNERS?_. I just felt my stomach upside-down.

Edward took my waist and grinned at Eric. "Sorry for ruining your plans, Eric, but Bella has a partner and if I'm counting right, maybe Mike can join you. Jessica already makes for two."

I shrugged, smiling, but I fought a giggle. Alice bounced to us, smiling ear to ear. Jasper was holding her hand tenderly.

"What a great homework, Bella, don't you think?" she chirped and I sighed.

"Sure. Now Charlie will bury me in my room forever. Good thing I still have the window." I smirked at Edward.

"Yes, but next time I have to bring vaseline." he chuckled.

I turned to see Charlie and Carlisle speaking very intensely. Charlie shook his head and then glanced at me. Carlisle put an arm on his shoulder and then again Charlie shook his head.

"What are they talking about?" I groaned. "Please, tell me they don't speak about _our_ sex life or something like that?"

"Actually not, Carlisle is trying to convince Charlie to let you stay at our house during the weekend." Edward whispered and Alice clapped. I smiled at that, I wasn't willing to stay home now that Charlie was in this bad mood.

"Yay, I already see you there. Great job Carlisle."

Emmett and Rosalie approached hand in hand and I laughed out loud.

"Emmett, your face is full of red lipstick."

"Told you so, Rose. I showed you the pink one but you didn't listen to me."

Rosalie threw her a dirty look, but then cleaned Emmett's face. And in a second he was _sparkling_. He made the kissy face to her, but he recovered soon because Carlisle was coming to us.

He arrived smiling and Charlie was behind him, with his arms crossed.

"I have good news. Bella, you can stay with us, during the weekend." he announced.

"There, no problem." Edward squeezed my hand gently.

I nodded carefully and I opened my mouth to say something to my dad but I closed it quickly. What was I going to say, by the way?

"Fine." he spoke finally, making a pout. That was so...unusual at him. "You can stay with them if you hate me so much. But I discussed with Carlisle and he told me... I mean, he assured me that you will be five meters away from Edward." he said.

I looked confused at Carlisle and he shrugged. Charlie patted his foot impatiently, waiting for me to say something, I supposed.

"Dad, I don't hate you and um, seriously, what Rosalie said.. that was a big lie. I and Edward, we didn't actually.. I mean.. you have to understand that we.." I fluttered my hands through the air, hoping that he would guess, but.. nothing. He was probably thinking that I was insane.

I heard Emmett's muffled laughter and then a _zbang. _Probably Rosalie's hand hitting Emmett's head.

"So, no touches, no kisses, no nothing. You can't even breath near him, you understand me?" I scowled at him. That was so easy for Edward but for me?

"And if I _stumble_ accidentally in the bathroom when he's taking a bath?" I asked sarcastically.

For a minute I thought he could faint again but Edward interfered, throwing me an amused look.

"Don't worry Charlie. Everything will be fine."

"I hope so. I really hope so." He frowned at Edward and then he hugged me for goodbye. Carlisle said us goodbye too and I saw them leaving the gym.

Alice gasped and then started clapping again. "Oh my God. I can't believe I forgot it. Jazz, quick, I have to go shopping. Seeyoualllater..." she said at top speed as she raced outside the gym with a terrified Jasper by the hand. Behind them were Emmett and Rosalie, Emmett turned to wink at us and made the kissy face again.

I looked stunned at Edward. "What was that? And shopping? For what?"

"You know Alice. She has to buy everyday, everything, _no matter what_." he hissed the last one and I was more confused.

He kissed quickly my lips and held me tightly at his chest. My arms locked around his neck. There was no heaven more beautiful than to be in his arms and I felt his lips turning into a smile. My heart was spinning and I could hear it myself.

"Let's go to class." he whispered in my ear and I nodded slowly. He chuckled seeing my unwillingness and took my hand in his.

He let me in front of the class and when he hugged me for goodbye I whispered "You know, it's still time for you to kidnap me."

"I'll be happy to do it" he grinned "but I don't want another reason for Charlie to dislike me more."

I sighed and I watched how he disappeared after the corner. I took a deep breath and then I entered the class. The students turned to me, some of them frowning and I blushed. Mr Varner scowled too because the hour started already and he was saying something about the maths contests. "We are very glad to have you here, Miss Swan." he said sarcastically and then returned to his speech.

I sat down at my desk and I saw with the corner of my eye that Jessica was glaring at me. Great.. I ignored her and I opened my book, playing along with a pencil.

Well, the hour didn't pass too quickly. _Hello, it's maths._ Mr Mason took me out to resolve a problem and I almost hit my head on the blackboard. I heard giggles and my face turned three shapes of red, but that was ok. If I hadn't fallen down at least one time per day, then it would have been a record, dignified to Guinness Book.

The bell rang and I was the first one who left the class. I was close to my locker when a muffled noise came from it. I stopped two inches from the locker, afraid to continue. What was in there or who had the key to my locker?

I took a deep breath, making a step forward but before I touched it, the door flew open and two bodies fell on the ground. I gasped at their sight, but then I became furious.

"I can't believe it. Hadn't you see that the broom closet was two lockers away?" I shouted at them.

"Sorry Bella. We hadn't time to go there. Your locker was closer." Emmett apologized with a grin.

I looked at them and then I continued more calm "And by the way, how did you get in there?"

"Well, this baby made some keys to all.." Emmett started but Rosalie cut him out immediately.

"_Shut up Emmett!"_ she hissed.

"You.. you made copies of all our keys?" I gasped and she smiled innocent. "Edward.." I shouted, knowing that he was close.

He appeared from the corner, with his adorable smile, took me in his arms and kissed tenderly my lips that I almost forgot about Emmett's and Rosalie's presence. He broke the kiss and I heard Emmett's chuckling.

"What, love?"

"You knew that Rosalie made copies of our keys? They filled my locker with their lust and it's coming out steam." I gave them dirty looks.

"I knew." he growled, glaring at his siblings. "I hadn't told you because I didn't want you to be mad. Those two aren't very subtle at showing _their love." _

"Jealous, Eddie?" Emmett grinned and he laughed, muttering something like 'you wish'.

"Why he should be? I love him with all my heart and he loves me too. We just know how to manifest it, not locking ourselves into a locker or starting kissing like some lusty teenagers." I said smiling at Rosalie, who was throwing lasers through her eyes. Edward leaned over to kiss my cheek.

I took his hand, ready to go to the cafeteria, when I screamed over my shoulder. "Emmett, your shirt is inside out... again!" I laughed.

We sat at our usual spot and I ran over to take some food. I put on the tray the first thing I saw and went to pay it. With the corner of my eye I saw that Mike was behind me, so I hurried up. I looked at Edward and I was horrified when I saw that he was restraining himself from laughing.

I gave the money for the food and ran to Edward. Emmett and Rosalie had joined us. But.. not even a clue from Alice and Jasper.

"Poor guy. He was thinking how to start and you just ran away." Edward chuckled.

"How funny." I laughed sarcastically and I sat down. "Where is Alice? And Jasper?" I asked as I took a bite from my apple.

"Hanging around... like a couple of teenagers." Rosalie said on a bitter tone.

"Sorry, Rosalie. I just know one." I replied and then turned to Edward. "They aren't done yet with the _shopping _stuff?"

"Apparently not."

"You know something, don't you?"

"Me? No." he smiled adoringly, staring in my eyes. _Is he trying to dazzle me or it's just me? Yes, definitely yes. Ugh, and I hate when he succeeds, _I thought as I melted.

"What do you think about ditching?" Emmett asked enthusiastic and we burst in laughter. "What? What did I say?"

"Exactly. Finally, you said something good." Rosalie mumbled, stroking his cheek.

"I think it's a good idea. I and Edward have biology and we have to see a stupid movie. I think we can skip it. And you?"

"Trig." Emmett said with a disgusted expression.

"I'm sure Alice and Jasper won't come here anymore so we'll meet them at home." I said. "So, I felt sick and I almost fainted. Edward and his siblings helped me to recover and took me home." I smiled and they nodded, without Rosalie, who was glaring at me.

We ran to our cars and Edward opened me the passenger seat of the Volvo. I was careful with the hood because I had the talent to always hit my head. I looked sad at my truck. "Don't worry. I'll bring it at your house, before Charlie suspects something." I sighed relieved and Edward stepped on the gas.

**HAPPY EASTER!! :***


	7. Surprise

I own nothing.

Thanks for the reviews :*

**Surprise**

**APOV**

I prepared intensively before I had to tell them the truth. I saw the disgusted expression on Edward's face, Bella's surprise and of course Carlisle looked like he wanted to kill me. But that made me laugh, and laugh hysterically. Jasper threw me, now and then, concerned glances, but I ignored him. He was worrying too much. I remembered Emmett and that he would be the only one happy with the news. Rosalie would be the difficulty one, but I didn't really care.

I turned to Jasper and he frowned at me . He opened his mouth to say something but I cut him out. "I know, I know, I know.. You're wondering if this what are we doing it's correct, but you must stop worrying about it." I said and I smiled at him, reassuring him that everything was fine.

"Well, actually I thought that you might be happy. I'm a little disappointed, you know?" I continued, poutingly and I heard his adorable laugh and his hand tousled my hair.

"You little monster." he chuckled. "Whatever makes you happy, makes me happy too."

"Great. That means you're going to tell them?" I made the puppy look. I knew he couldn't resist it. I won again. He made a grimace but then nodded. "Ok, then hurry up." I giggled.

We bought a lot of things, well actually I bought. Jasper helped me with the bags. But finally I said to the employer to bring them tomorrow morning.

He took the most long road and he was running very slowly. I didn't have a very good sight from his back because of his head, but after two or three trees I could see the big and white house of the Cullens. I saw the Volvo and the BMW in front of it, so they must had been home. I saw Esme in the garden, speaking to her flowers and when she saw us, she waved at us smiling. I started bouncing and I already could hear the others.

"_Stop licking the glass, Emmett. It's sick._" I heard Bella and then a muffled laughter.

"_Oh Edward.. Oh Edward.. Kiss me, oh.._" Emmett tried to imitate Bella's voice and from where were we I could see that Emmett was embracing himself with his big arms. I and Jasper burst in laughter.

"_Emmett, you're such an idiot._" Rosalie said. "_Stop acting like a five year old and grow up._"

"_Sorry baby but I can't._" he grinned at her. "Don't you love your squishy husby?"

"Husby?" Bella asked confused. "What's that? The new sexual language?"

"Husby means husband but of course you don't know" Rosalie smirked and I sighed, being exhausted by their conflicts. I swear, they were sometimes acting more childishly than Emmett. And that's serious, believe me. "Oh did I hurt your feelings?" she continued, acting worried.

We were very close, almost two seconds. Jasper put me down and I bounced inside, taking his hand. He walked in hesitantly and all the eyes turned to us, expect Rosalie and Bella who were glaring at each other. Edward scowled at me but I continued to smile, ignoring him completely.

"Oh, the missing two. Where were you?" Emmett scolded us. "Trying to find a cozy place?" he winked at us. Jasper flinched.

I giggled. "I.. I mean, we... made a very huge step forward" Edward rolled his eyes "and I think you must know. But first.. Where's Carlisle?"

"Locked in his office." Edward said, still frowning at me. "You know, he'll probably kill you." he continued and then Rosalie and Bella turned too to us, confused.

"I know." I giggled again and I saw that Jasper might run away if I'm not too careful so I squeezed his hand, trying to warn him about the escape. I heard his sigh and I smiled. He was so cute.

Bella raised her eyebrow, staring at me and waiting for an answer. I shook my head and I dragged Jasper with me. He was murmuring in my ear. "Look, I know you're excited.. I am too.. but don't you think it's crazy? Carlisle won't be fooled, he's a doctor and.. it's just a stupid homework. You shouldn't have taken it so serious. I mean, are only two days and a half..."

He was so nervous because I told him that he would be in charge to tell Carlisle everything, but he didn't see that I was joking. I couldn't let him do this things. And because _I wanted_ to tell him.

I knocked at the door.

"Busy." he screamed.

I knocked again.

"Very busy." he screamed again.

I knocked again, only this time more insistently.

I heard steps and the door flew open, Carlisle standing in front of us, with an annoyed expression.

"What Alice?" he asked.

"Can we talk for a minute?" I said on a serious tone.

"It's worth it?"

I nodded and he let us inside. I tried to control my giggles and to be serious. I didn't want to admit it, but Jasper's uneasiness was helping a lot, because Carlisle was becoming more anxious by minute.

"Shoot." he said returning at his computer.

Jasper shook his head, but I squeezed gently his hand and he took a deep breath.

"Carlisle... I didn't want it to tell you before but.. I think now it's the time." I said on my most saddest tone. Jasper's face was more confused as I continued. "And believe me, I'm very very very sorry.." Carlisle stopped tasting and turned to me, the same confused expression on his face as Jasper's.

"What are you talking about, Alice?"

I looked at both of them for effect and then I kissed lovingly Jasper's cheek.

"Alice?" he asked again anxious.

I focused again on the giggles, who were killing me. I took a deep breath.

"Jazz, I know you're nervous. But happy too, right?" I smiled innocent and he nodded wary. "So... we must tell you something very important, Carlisle. I and Jasper... we are going to be parents." I finished enthusiastic.

In the office and in the whole house was so silence that even a small breath could be heard. Emmett and the others heard it too, well, except from Bella. Five seconds later, after they recovered, Edward was telling her our conversation. She was then as silent as they were. I looked first at Jasper's face but he was staring at his feet and flinched when he felt Carlisle's emotions. I turned to him, but his expression scared me but also amused me. It was priceless so I fought back the giggles. Again. He began shaking his head, but then he burst in laughter and Jazz startled.

"C'mon Alice. This is what you were trying to tell me?!" he laughed and I smiled. Yep, I knew he'll react like this.. at first. "Alice, you know that you can't be pregnant. Vampires can't have babies. You can't remain pregnant or carry a baby or give birth to one." he said on a serious, almost apologetic tone. I was still smiling.

"Who said something about giving birth? Of course not."

"Then.. what are you referring to then?"

"She'll arrive tomorrow morning." I clapped enthusiastic.

He frowned at me, confused. "'_She'll arrive?_'" he repeated.

"Yep. I bought her off of internet." I clapped again.

Carlisle jumped off his seat and stared at me like I was insane. "WHAT?" he screamed. But it wasn't only his scream, someone from the living screamed too. I recognized Rosalie.

"Alice..." he shook his head. "You bought a baby? Are you completely insane? I know you were a shopaholic, but seriously..." he shouted, but I raised a finger to stop him.

"I didn't say I bought a baby. It's actually a doll." At that Carlisle calmed down a bit. "But she cries, she eats, she sleeps, she has to wear diapers.. So, yep. Aren't you happy? Carlisle, you're going to be a grandfather." I hugged him but I saw that the word 'grandfather' almost made him faint. I giggled.

"For two days." Jasper mutured.

"Well, I don't see the problem. I can keep her."

"Please, Alice. You have Emmett."

"And?"

He shrugged, but in a second, all of them were at the door. Emmett with his stupid grin, Rosalie with her mouth open, Bella staring at me and Edward shook his head.

"Cool. I'll have a new sister." Emmett smirked.

"I can't believe it." Rosalie said.

But then all my attention was concentrated on Carlisle. My head was hurting (and that's impossible) because of the shaking. My eyes got huge and then narrowed. I shook my finger at him wildly but he was trying to ignore me. I didn't see that one coming.

"Carlisle... youcantdothattome." I said quickly. "Please, I just wanted to see your reaction, just that. Pleaseleasepleaseplease.." I begged him, but he was lounging for his mobile phone. Edward burst in laughter and I glared at him for a second but then I returned to Carlisle. "Oh come on Carlisle... Jasper, say something."

"Hmm... Please no, Carlisle!?" he asked rhetorically and I moaned.

I jumped to catch his phone but he got it before me. I was frozen like a statue. Oh my God, oh my god, oh my god.. Good thing I already bought those..

He dialed and he put his phone at his ear. I waited for the storm to begin.

"Please please.." I begged again.

"Hello, Mr Devon. I want to cancel some credit cards." he said.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" I screamed and then I lounged for the phone. Carlisle was quicker and all I could catch was thin air. _Darn it!_ He can't do that to me.

"Oh he can." Edward chuckled. I scowled at him and he shut up.

"Yes. It's Alice Cullen." Carlisle continued.

"_Ok, she has five credit cards. And you want to cancel them all. Ok, no problem." _I heard Mr Devon say and I looked at Jasper for help.

"Carlisle, you mustn't..." he started, but Carlisle glared at him and his expression made him stop.

"Thank you very much, Mr Devon. Good night." he shut up the phone and then, without looking at me, he returned to his computer and began tasting.

I was frozen in the middle of the office and I couldn't move not even a finger. My breath slowed till it stopped.

I feel empty, I feel scattered. I feel... naked.

Oh my God.

Edward sniffed but I didn't bother to glare at him again. I was... shocked. My thoughts were interrupted by the phone. It was ringing in the living and Rosalie stormed out to answer it. We were already in the living and I heard Carlisle locking his door.

"Hello. Oh, hi Charlie. Yep, she's here. You want to talk to her? Ok. Edward, please get off of her." she giggled and I heard a scream coming from the phone.

"_What? They are together? Put that lady on the phone._"

Bella's eyes narrowed when she heard Rosalie, and a snarl was growing in Edward's chest. He was making plans at how to rip her head off. Bella moved a little forward and took the phone in her right hand.

"He.. Hello?" she whispered.

"You're with him, right? You're with him. You're making sex. Again." Charlie said furiously. I was starting to recover but half of my mind was still busy with the credit cards. Ok, I'll take Edward's. "Don't even think about it." I heard him whisper. _Damn it! _Well, Rosalie is still my sister, but.. Oh no, I said she was pregnant in the gym.. No, she won't give me her credit cards. Emmett!

Emmett burst in laughter and Bella's cheeks were getting red. Rosalie was happy with her victory and she sit on the couch, opening a magazine.

"Of course not, Dad. Rosalie's sick and she's having hallucinations. You can't believe her. Trust me. Edward is probably... sleeping." A few chuckles were heard in the room.

"I hope so."

"And.. why are you calling?" she asked hesitantly.

"Well, I wanted to hear your voice and.. to know how you're doing."

"I'm fine. Actually, a little bit tired. I'm going to sleep."

"And where are you going to sleep?"

"In Ed...." she stopped quickly and bit her lip.

_Damn it_, I heard her whisper.

"In Alice's.. room.. She has.. two... beds." Bella blushed and she looked at Edward. He was playing with her hair and he smiled amused at her.

"Ok... Um, good night Bells."

She shut up the phone and sighed relieved. "I almost done it. And by the way, thank you very much Rose."

"Anytime." she winked.

"I think you should sleep, Bella. You're exhausted." Edward whispered gently in her ear and she nodded. "Ok... Good night everyone." I smiled at her and they were already at the stairs when Emmett chuckled "Don't forget the condoms."

I wasn't expecting Bella's reaction. She smiled mischievously and raised her eyebrows. Edward rolled his eyes and drove her quickly to his bedroom.

**Sorry for taking so long. I didn't have time to write or ideas. **

**I really enjoy writing from Alice's point of view, because I love her so much.**

**I hope I didn't dissapoint you. Review!**


	8. Take it or leave it

**Take it or leave it**

**BPOV**

Edward took my hand and drove me to his bedroom. He closed the door behind us and I went to the bed. But I froze immediately as I saw it. The bed was covered by a pink coverlet, with white lace on its edges. In the middle of it, was _painted_ a red rose. In the air, it was lavender.

Well, this is.. um, this is very romantic.. I mean, even for Edward. I..it's.. but... when did he.. Wait a minute. Edward wouldn't choose pink for a sheet. Pink isn't his colour. So, that leaves me with the other option. _Of course_.

Edward was watching my reactions and then he sighed. I turned to him, half horrified, half amused.

"Alice." we said together. He said her name like an explanation; I said it in horror.

Downstairs I heard a sharp laugh. "You can thank me later."

I sighed and I blushed. I took a short glance at Edward, then I jumped on the bed. It was so soft. I can't believe I'm thinking this, but Alice is a genius. Pity we can't use it. I mean.. ok, I'm an idiot. Stop it, stop it!

"Wow." I whispered. Edward smiled and sit next to me, taking my hand in his.

"If you don't like it, I'll change it."

"_Don't you dare._" I heard Alice shout. Edward rolled his eyes and I shook my head, giggling. "Nope. It's perfect."

"Ok, then." He kissed tenderly my forehead and I melted. "You should sleep."

I smiled mischievously at him, trying to be seductive. "I wasn't thinking exactly at sleeping."

"Bella, please, be reasonable."

"Oh, but I am. We have a beautiful, large bed in the middle of the room, we are alone.. well, expect that six vampires with stupid sensitive hearing are downstairs.. and Alice found this gorgeous coverlet..." I was babbling and trying to convince Edward. He was frowning at me.

"Bella, love, I can't." He took my face in his hands and my breath stopped. I looked deeply in his eyes and he in mine. All I could hear was my heart. It was racing in my chest like crazy. "I can hurt you." he whispered.

"No, you can't." I said and I smiled, trying to comfort him. "You know, we can also practice."

He looked at me confused. "Bella, you should sleep." I sighed.

"But I'm serious. We can practice and later, it'll be perfect."

He was removing the sheet as I spoke. I scowled at him and I tried to stop him. "What are you doing? This is hurting Alice's feelings."

"And your's." he looked at me and I stuttered. "Um, no.. it's just that.. um.. I think I need a shower." _Coward_, _coward_, I said to myself.

He caught my hand and embraced me. "I love you so much."

"I love you too."

He leaned over me and our lips crushed. My arms locked around his neck as his arms tightened around my waist. I pulled him closer to my body and I almost forgot to breath. My head was spinning and I began to search for air. I lounged for his shirt, but I stopped immediately. He broke the kiss and whispered in my ear. "Shower."

"Oh, the shower. Right. But, I can change my mind, I mean, why stop?" I said breathless and he raised his eyebrows at me, smiling again. I figured out I was making a fool of myself and I stopped.

"Yeah, right, the shower." I nodded.

I went to the bathroom and I looked in the mirror, disappointed. _Am I that hideous?_ I sighed. It wouldn't be any danger. Why is he so scared!? I'm not. He's a vampire, with super strength, super extra hearing, he can read thoughts - thanks god not mine – and he's afraid of.... this? Ok, maybe I'm becoming a paranoid and he's right. Well, paranoid isn't the right word, obsessed fits better.

I took off my clothes and I let the water flow. The shower was done in almost five minutes and I changed in my pajamas. I brushed my teeth and I washed my face. Then I got in the bedroom and I lounged on the bed.

I rested my head on Edward's chest and he was brushing gently my hair. "Sleep, my love." I closed my eyes as he began humming my lullaby.

RING RING RING

RING RING RING

Ok, please shut up that alarm. Please. It's Saturday for crying out loud. And I really want to sleep. I searched for Edward and he was nowhere. What? "Edward?" I whispered. No answer.

RING RING RING

I opened my eyes and it was still night. I looked at the clock. It was midnight. MIDNIGHT. For Goodness Sake. What's going on?

I yawned and I tried to figure out from where was the alarm coming. As I listened harder, my breath sped up. Oh no no no.. I looked in the bedroom. Crap, I was still in Edward's room. Charlie thought I was with Alice.

But.. why is Charlie here?

"Carlisle Cullen, please, get out of the house with your hands raised. You're under arrest." I heard a voice and I froze in the middle of the bed.

"Emmett, you idiot, shut up, you're awakening Bella. She sleeps, remember?" Alice shouted. Well, she wasn't speaking too low.

"You both should talk lower. I think Bella is already awake. Thanks to you two." Edward said.

So it was Emmett. Ok, take a deep breath. There's no problem. But... why Emmett has the police cruiser?

I went downstairs and I found all of them in the garden. Rosalie was staring at Emmett, who was playing with the controls of the police cruiser, Alice was bouncing near him and Jasper was near Carlisle and Esme. Edward was frowning at his siblings and when he saw me, he took my waist.

"What's going on?" I asked, as I searched for Charlie.

"Nothing. They are just acting like children."

"You should be more open minded, Edward. You will have fun. Maybe Bella wants to play." Alice chirped and she came to us, winking at me. I looked confused at her. "So, are you playing with us, right? Please, please."

"Sweetheart, she must sleep. It's midnight." Esme said.

"Play what?"

"Truth or dare." Alice's eyes lightened up as she said that and Edward sighed.

"Oh... that's why the police cruiser is here. But... who was the author of this?"

"Me. I said to Emmett to take the police cruiser for a ride and bring it here." Rosalie mumbled and I nodded wary.

"Yeah, and it's awesome. The siren is great and works just fine. I think I'm going to buy one of this." Emmett smirked enthusiastic.

All of them growled and rolled their eyes. I giggled, because I was already imagining Emmett in a police cruiser, going to school. He was so huge.

"But... what about Charlie?" I asked and Edward hissed, glaring at his brother. "What?"

"Charlie found out that someone stole it and he... he came out with the gun." Edward explained and I was getting scared by minute. "Emmett was already gone when Charlie got out of the house."

Emmett burst in laughter and Edward pinched his bridge nose.

"You said _found out that someone stole it_. What are his options? Who he thinks is the author of the _robbery_?"

"Edward." Emmett laughed hysterically and I panicked.

"WHAT? Is he nuts? How can he think that? He didn't even see him." I bit my lip anxious that Charlie would come here anytime.

"Yeah, actually, that was the point." I heard someone say and I searched till I found Rosalie. I fumed as I looked at her. "Emmett left something behind him to look like it was Edward. Well, dare is a dare." she smirked.

I ignored her and I tried to think like Charlie. What could he do? He couldn't come here. He didn't know very well the road, so he would get lost in the woods. Definitely not. He's quite rational, not to enter the forest.

"Is Charlie coming here?"

"Nope." Alice answered quickly.

"He's home?"

"Yep."

"He's.. going to shoot Edward?"

"Yep.. I mean nope. He keep changes his mind."

Oh, what a relief.

"Are you going to play Truth or Dare?"

"Nope." I quoted her.

"Oh come on. We'll have fun."

"Maybe... if you're returning the car to Charlie. I don't want another problem with him. So, take it or leave it." I threatened her and she nodded, bouncing. Emmett growled in disappointment, as he started the engine.

**Sorry for taking so long. I didn't have time to write. I hope you like it! :***

**Q: (Edwaaaard-Bellaaa x3) what was the thing that made mike get sent out ? in chapter 4  
**

**A: Jasper can control emotions and I made him transferring all his guilt to Mike. So, Mike felt guilty about something that even he didn't know what was about. **

**I'm not very good at explanations but I hope you understood. :)**


	9. I dare you to

**I dare you to...  
**

**BPOV**

I watched how Emmett disappeared in the woods and I sighed relieved. _Now Charlie can relax!_ I just hope that he's not thinking it was me. Then I'll have a very huge problem.

"Can we start now?" I startled, because Alice screamed in my ear. She was bouncing and on her tiny face was a big smile. I heard growls and I turned to Jasper, Edward and Rosalie, who were next to Carlisle and Esme.

Esme turned to Carlisle and she made a very very very small move with her head, that was almost imperceptible. Then she took his hand.

"Oh.. and I was really hoping that you're going to play with us." Alice pouted. "Well, you'll miss all the fun." she continued and Esme and Carlisle rolled their eyes, amused.

I don't know why, but I felt that something weird will happen. Something about Esme's and Carlisle's behavior... and about Alice made me feel uneasy. I looked at Edward and he was staring at me. I took his arm and he kissed my forehead. Then he turned to Alice.

"You know that it's not going to happen."

"You bet?"

"It's a crazy thing and... please do me a favor and shut up."

Alice laughed and Edward frowned at her. What the...? "That was very rude, Edward."

"Don't worry Bella. He's just overreacting. Like always." she giggled.

I looked confused at both of them. Alice continued laughing hysterically and that made Edward freeze. "Ok, what's going on? Alice, why is Edward trying to imitate the Statue of Liberty? And why are you laughing?" I almost screamed the last one, because I was feeling so dumb, not knowing nothing.

"Well, I'm sorry to say that.. but.. welcome to the club. We are always confused with Alice and Edward around." Rosalie said with a grin. "Oh and Jasper of course." she smiled at him and he returned a sarcastically one.

I sighed defeated and I looked at the forest. I saw some trees falling and I assumed that was Emmett. He was singing so loud that made my ears hurt. Well, not only mine. I turned to the others and they growled in choir, Alice making a weird expression that made me giggle. Jasper looked like he was going to run in any moment. That's when Alice caught his hand.

"_Oh I'm a gummy bear  
Yes I'm a gummy bear  
Oh I'm a yummy jummy funny lucky gummy bear  
Oh I'm a jolly bear  
cause I'm a gummy bear  
Oh I'm a movin groovin jammin singin gummy bear  
Oh yeah!"_

He was sooo voiceless. I burst in laugher, although his voice was awful. Rosalie covered her ears and she threw death glares to her husband who was continuing to sing.

Edward took a rock from the ground and threw it in Emmett's direction. I closed my eyes to not see the impact, because sure was going to be one. I heard a loud noise and Emmett stopped singing, thank goodness.

"Hey, that wasn't pretty!" he shouted and that's when I saw it.

OH... MY... GOD!

I started to laugh hysterically and as much as my laughter grew, that much Edward froze. Emmett had... boxers on his head. Well, white boxers to be more clear... with angels. I laughed again and I felt tears in my eyes. Alice joined me soon and Jasper too. Only Rosalie was grinning.

"What's so funny?" Emmett appeared next to us, with a huge smile on his face.

I stopped laughing for a second and I was able to look at him. My eyes narrowed and all my happiness disappeared. _Now I know why is Edward so still._ I gulped and I pointed the boxers with my finger.

"Oh yeah.. this. Aren't they great?" he said, taking it off. "I didn't know you're having this, Edward." I looked at Edward, who was staring at me, probably wanting to see my reaction, and then at Emmett, who was grinning.

Of course, of course.. The boxers are.. Edward's. That's why they have.. um, they have the inscription _Edward_ with glittery. But... Oh no.. Crap!

"Edward's? Oh God.. Please, please tell me you didn't let them in front of Charlie's house." I crossed my fingers hoping a _no_, but I almost screamed in horror when he laughed an _yes. _

"And remember that I almost took him from Charlie. He was sleeping on the couch and the boxers were near him. He was frowning in his sleep." he chuckled and I almost lounged to strangle him but Alice stopped me.

"Oh, sure.. Thank you very very much, Rosalie. You're.. such a sweet person. I'll remember this." I said sarcastically and she nodded smirking.

Emmett played with the boxers for a second and before I said _Stop_, the boxers were already on my face. My breath stopped and I heard chuckles on the background and some disgusted voices.

"Ewww...."

"So disgusting.."

"Emmett, I swear I'm going to kill you."

"50 dollars."

"Jasper!!" they said in choir.

"How can you think at bets? We have a very huge problem." Alice screamed and I took the boxers off my face. "I mean, look at those boxers, they are so behind the trends."

"This is so gross..." I sulked.

Edward took the boxers from my hands and tore them apart. "And they weren't mine."

"Oh and I really like those." Emmett pouted. "I guess I have to wear those with the ducks."

I rolled my eyes and an image with Emmett in boxers with ducks crossed my mind. I shook quickly my head. Then I imagined Edward in boxers and I blushed. I shook again my head. God! I sighed.

Alice broke the silence. "Ok, now we can play?"

They nodded and Edward lifted his eyebrows at me. I kissed him quickly on the lips and unwillingly I nodded too. He sighed frustrated and I shrugged. I wasn't happy either, but I promised Alice that I will.. Damn it.

We entered the house and we sit on the floor, in circle. Edward was on my right, holding my hand and on my left was Alice, who was bouncing so hard that even the floor was shaken.

"Ok, but first.. you don't have to cheat." I said, looking at Alice, Jasper and slowly I turned to Edward, smiling apologetic.

"No problem." Edward smiled, squeezing my hand.

I saw Alice's face fell down and she pouted, crossing her arms. "That's not fair."

"Sure." Jasper whispered and Alice sighed theatrical before she recovered the happy mood.

"Me, me, me, me! Please, let me be the first one." she almost screamed and no one protested. I opened my mouth to disagree but I closed it quickly. What the heck I was going to say!? No!?

She looked at us and then continued. "Emmett, truth or dare?"

"Dare." Of course. The Cullens are going to say only that. I don't understand why are they even asking. Whatever. I'm really afraid of the dares.

Alice smirked. "Emmett, I dare you to call Mike Newton and say that you're in love with him." Emmett just looked at her and then grinned.

He took the phone and dialed Mike's number. "Hello?" A sleepy Mike answered and I bit my lip. I was trying to hold my laughter like the rest of them.

"Hello there Mikey, it's your beloved Emmett. I have something very important to tell you. I love you, Mike, I'm so in love with you.." I lost my focus and I burst in laughter, holding my head in my hands. Alice covered her mouth and Edward's body was shaking with laughter.

"...um, good night." Mike said before shutting the phone.

"What an idiot." Emmett said and laughing, he took again his sit near Rosalie.

"Look who's talking.." Rosalie giggled.

He turned to Jasper. "Truth or dare?" Dare, dooh..

"Dare."

"I dare you to...." Emmett put a finger at his chin and he looked like he was thinking. That's so crazy. I giggled. "Oh, I know... I dare you to dress some of Alice's bras." Jasper's eyes widened and Alice ran quickly upstairs. In a second she was down with a red bra in her hands. Unwillingly, Jasper took it and put it on. He was so funny.

"I don't get it. It doesn't even fit me. It's so tiny." Jasper protested.

"I didn't know you liked Pamela Anderson." Alice said sarcastically and Jasper looked down quickly. I felt a wave of calm hit us and I assumed he was trying to calm down Alice. "Don't cheat!"

Jasper shifted uncomfortable and looked at us, then stopped at Rosalie. She was throwing one of her _better-be-a-good-one_ look. "Rose, truth or dare?" Oh no, she is going to ask me after this. Of course, she hates me.

"Dare." Why I'm not surprised?

"Ok, no bedroom business with Emmett for a week." I began to laugh, holding Edward's arm. I have to admit it, I'm having so much fun. Emmett's face was priceless. He looked like he was going to cry in any moment.

"Ok." Rosalie nodded.

"But.. baby.. A week it's so much time.. it's a week. How can I resist a week without sex? A week, a week.." he repeated _a__week_ like ten times, making us laugh even harder.

"Dare is a dare." Jasper added. Emmett continued shaking his head.

"So now it's my turn.." Rosalie mumbled, looking at us. "Who am I going to choose?!" she stopped at me, smirking mischievously. Then she suddenly said "Alice, truth or dare?" I sighed relieved and Edward felt my uneasiness.

"Don't worry." he whispered in my ear and I nodded cautious.

"Dare.. Of course. Bring it." she chirped enthusiastic.

"Write on one of your most beloved shirts _I hate Jasper._ And you must wear it all night." she raised her eyebrow.

"Ha!" Emmett grinned victorious.

Alice screamed "WHAT? But.. I can't. I love my shirts." Jasper scowled, confused and Alice continued quickly "Oh, yeah. And Jasper." she kissed him on the lips and he relaxed. "I can't believe you're making me do this. Can I say _Truth_?"

"Nope." I said quickly and she scowled at me.

"Bella! I thought you were my sister. Ok, then."

She took a pink shirt and with black marker she wrote _I hate Jasper_. With a frustrated sigh, she put it on and crossed her arms.

"You know, it really fits you." Edward laughed and I giggled.

"Unfair." I heard Alice whisper.

"Time to ask, Alice. C'mon, c'mon." Emmett clapped eager.

When she was relaxed enough, she smiled at us and when our eyes met her smile grew. I began to feel uneasy and I shifted uncomfortable, taking Edward's hand.

"You're not." He shook his head.

"What it's making you think that?" Alice asked innocent and something in her voice made me feel more nervous.. I looked at her suspicious. "You're cheating right now Edward. Please stop reading my thoughts."

"Don't." Edward said, but they spoke in the same time and louder was Alice's question.

"Bella, truth or dare?"

"You know she's going to say _Truth_, so why are you asking!? Please.. What a waste of time.." Rosalie rolled her eyes.

Ok, if I'm not saying dare, I will be the loser of the game and I will prove right Rosalie's statement. If I'm saying dare, then I'll be a Cullen girl and Rosalie can bit her tongue. But again, I'm afraid of their dares. Alice is one little monster. And about Edward? Why is he so scared?

"Um, I choose dare." I said slowly and Edward stiffened. Ok, this is not a good sign. Crap, what did I do? Emmett clapped again, whistling. "That's my sis."

"Ok, then, Bella. So.. I dare you to...." she smiled again and I startled. Not good, not good.. "STRIP." she screamed and my mouth fell open. My right hand was gripping my shirt and the other one was in front of my chest. Emmett and Alice began to sing _You can leave your hat on _and my cheeks were changing three shapes of red.

"If you don't want, you're not going to do it." Edward said. I nodded at first, but then I shook my head. Ok, dare is a dare...

"Can I just take off my socks?" I asked, crossing my fingers. Alice shook her head, still singing.

"_Baby, take off your coat...real slow Baby, take off your shoes...here, I'll take your shoes Baby, take off your dress Yes, yes, yes._."

I sighed and I started with the socks, of course. Only that Alice stopped me quickly "While you're undressing you have to dance." She bit her lip, to restrain the laughter.

"You got to be kidding me." I said with my eyes narrowed. "I can't dance." I said with an octave higher. This is going to be so embarrassing. Alice shrugged and they started again with the song. I'm going to kill her.

_"...You can leave your hat on You can leave your hat on.."_

I started to move a little, only that I was probably looking like I needed someone to scratch my back. I took off my socks very slowly, then I threw them on Rosalie's face. She fumed and took them furiously off her face. I lounged for my shirt and I felt so happy when I remembered I was wearing a shirt behind the pajama and one of my best bras. Waving my hips, I remained in the shirt, throwing my pajama near Edward. Oh my God.

_"..Go on over there and turn on the light...no, all the lights Now come back here and stand on this chair...that's right Raise your arms up in to the air...shake 'em.."_

"Bella... it's not necessary to.." Edward started, but Alice screamed _You can leave your hat on_, glaring at him. He frowned at her and before I took off my shirt, he got up and put the pajama in front of me. Thank you, thank you..

Alice stopped singing and stuck her tongue out "She said _dare_, and if you don't know what that means, it's something that she needs to accomplish. Do you think I loved to write on my shirts _I hate Jasper_? Of course not. I love my shirts, but I did it." Jasper raised his eyebrows. "Oh yeah and I love Jasper too. So, stop with the overreaction." She began to move wildly her finger in front of Edward's eyes.

"But when she doesn't want to do it, then you can't make her." Edward replied and I tried to interfere between them. "Ok, then..."

"But she accepted it."

"Yes, because she hadn't another choice. She was afraid b....."

"Stop." I screamed and Edward looked at me surprised like the rest of them. "Ok. So, stop arguing. As Jasper said before, dare is a dare and I must do it." I stared at them for a second and I continued "I'll take off my shirt and that's all." Alice clapped and began singing again. "And stop singing." She nodded.

"Bella..." Edward started, but I shook my head. I lounged for my shirt and I remained in my bra. I sit next to Edward and Alice smiled victorious. Edward looked down and Jasper too. Only Emmett was staring with his eyes widened.

"Emmett, that's Bella in your thoughts. Stop imagining her in Rosalie's CatWoman suit." Edward screamed suddenly, throwing my pajama on his face.

"My CatWoman suit? You idiot." Rosalie fumed, glaring at Emmett.

"Ok, ok..." he said and stopped staring.

I sighed. I was so uncomfortable. What's Edward thinking? I looked at them and I stopped at... well, Edward. "Edward, truth or dare?"

**This is so long. It took me 8 pages.  
**

**Hope you like it! Review. :)**


	10. It was blue

**I own nothing.**

**Thank you very very much for the reviews. I'm so happy that you like this boring story.**

**It was blue**

**EPOV**

"Edward, truth or dare?" Bella asked me and I looked at her for almost two seconds.

_You're a coward, Eddie, _Emmett thought amused.

_EDWARD, YOU MUST SAY DAREEEE, _Alice screamed in her head and I winced. Why she has to scream? I hear her, for crying out loud.

"Dare." I said simply (not because of Alice) and I saw Rosalie roll her eyes. Suddenly, the floor began shaking and all I could see was Emmett rolling with laughter. Alice poked Rosalie in the arm, giggling.

"NO Freaking WAY" Emmett laughed. "It's the first time you say _dare_. It's because little Bella is here?" he burst once again in laughter, only this time more loudly that even the walls were shaking.

Alice joined him soon. I cursed, glaring at them.

Bella cleared loudly her throat and she took quickly my hand. I looked in her beautiful brown eyes and she blushed.

"From what I remember, Emmett..." she started and waited till they stopped laughing. Soon after Emmett heard his name, he turned to Bella, smirking.

_Uh-oh.. what..?_

"... you weren't so _brave_ the last time we played." She raised one of her perfect eyebrows and Emmett's grin disappeared in an instant. I tried to cough to cover my chuckles but no one was fooled. Emmett pouted like a five year old child and crossed his arms. I lost my focus then and I began to laugh.

Maybe you're asking what happened that day. It was Alice's turn to ask and she picked Emmett as her victim. He was grinning (as always) at the pixie one. And well... Jasper had this magnificent idea to put pranks on him. So he thought that he should make him feel discouraged and weak. I liked it as the thought crossed his mind so I decided to join him. Alice told Emmett that he had to jump into the river naked and he nodded immediately. Then, in a second, his mood shifted and he ran, screaming like a teenager girl, with his hands raised.

"Yeah, because the emo boy thought it was great." he sulked, punching Jasper on the arm and we burst in laughter. Again.

We stopped when Carlisle got out of his office and glared at us for a sec. _Those children.._, he thought as he closed the door.

"Ok. So.. Edward, I dare you to.." Bella pursed up her lips, thinking.

"... make sex with her. Now. Here." Emmett recovered his good mood (how the heck did he do that?) and he continued Bella's sentence, screaming happily.

_Gezzzez...can you please stop with the hormones, Emmett? _Jasper thought.

Bella just looked horrified at Emmett and I glared at him.

"Emmett, can you please, for a second... SHUT UP!!!" I screamed too at him, only to see his grin bigger.

"Edward, switch clothes with..." she bit her lip, amused and Alice cracked up, laughing hysterically.

_Oh... great, just great.._

".. Rosalie?" she made it look like it was a question. She shrugged and smiled apologetic. I stroked her cheek, letting her know it was just a dare and that she mustn't feel guilty.

_WHAT? _Rosalie screamed in her head as she looked at her clothes, then at mine, then again at her, then again at me.

The others burst in laughter and I frowned at Rosalie, then I saw her outfit. A mini skirt, white long boots and a pink blouse. NO ... WAY.

_From all days, she must have wore that exactly today? Why me. _

_Tear up my clothes and you're dead Edward, _Rosalie thought, as we changed quickly in each other outfit.

Bella put her hand at her mouth to stop the giggles, but when our eyes met, she fell on the floor, laughing hysterically. So did the others, especially Alice, whom sharp laughter was higher than anyone else. Emmett buried his face in Rosalie's hair, chuckling amused. Jasper too was rolling on the floor like crazy.

I was staring at Bella and Rosalie frowned at her.

_You'll pay for this, _she thought and I turned to her, warning her that wasn't a great idea. She sighed frustrated and crossed her arms at her chest.

"You're...very... sexy... Edward." Bella said among the giggles and I smiled involuntary till the smile became a laugh.

"_Miss__ Freaking _Edward._" _Emmett chuckled, getting into hysterics again.

I looked at them and I was ready to open my mouth, when Bella stopped me, whispering something in my ear. She was giggling and I felt her hot breath on my neck, making me want so badly to kiss her. But my attention was distracted by Alice's shaking head.

I love it. That was really a good one. And I'll love to see her doing that.

I laughed.

_He's having a breakdown? _Jasper.

_What the... I want to hear the joke. _Emmett looked confused at me, then at Bella.

"Oh no, no no... Bella! How can you do that to me? I thought we were best friends forever, sisters. And you, Edward, you really disappoint me. You're such a bad brother." she sulked. I rolled my eyes. _You know, you're going to regret this, if you do it. _I rolled again my eyes. _What? You don't believe me? Edward, I'm talking to you.. well, thinking actually but you got the picture... Listen to me! EDWARD! _

I stopped listening to her thoughts because they could be sometimes astounding.

_Yeah right.. You physic. Always finding an excuse.. _

"What?" Emmett asked impatiently.

"Alice, truth or dare?"

"_Truth._" she said quickly, for Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper and Bella's surprise. I raised my eyebrow at her and she smiled victorious. _HA! _

"Ok, Alice, truth. Well... Why you're using your make up and your new dresses on Jasper, when Bella isn't here?" I asked and I saw Jasper's eyes narrow: _You got to be kidding me. _Alice just got excited and took Jasper by the arm, bouncing happily. I heard Emmett's muffled laughter.

"Oh, that's simple. Because he's so damn hot with that pink eyeshadow and because he's so leggy and tall. And because his butt looks better in the red skirt I dressed him two days ago." Two days ago? Gosh, lucky me I was with Bella at her house.

_JASPER.... WOMAN!!! _Emmett's body shook with laughter.

"My butt looks just fine." Jasper muttered under his breath and Alice gasped, like she was insulted.

"Don't you think you look handsome when I'm done? You have to admit it, you looked so good in the green dress." Alice stared at him, waiting for an answer. "ADMIT IT!" she shout and Jasper startled.

She's definetly a little monster.

"Ok, ok..." he mumbled frustrated and sighed. Alice began bouncing again, smiling.

Bella began dozing and I took her quickly in my arms. (I was feeling so stupid in that skirt).

"Oh come on Bella. You can't leave us in the middle of the game." Emmett pouted.

_Oh yes she can. _Rosalie smiled.

"Bella, you should sleep." She nodded slowly, before her eyes shut. I carried her to the stairs and I was ready to run in my room when Jasper laughed "Nice butt, Edward." Then some chuckles were heard and I tried to block their thoughts.

I put Bella on my bed and she fell asleep, sighing in her dream. I undressed that stupid outfit and I put on my usual clothes: a shirt and jeans. I lounged on the bed and I took Bella in my arms, kissing softly her forehead. She smiled and whispered my name.

**BPOV**

The sunlight was flooding the room and I opened my eyes, still sleepy. I yawned and I looked in the room. I was alone. Alice wasn't staring at me like every other morning, waiting for me to wake up, Rosalie wasn't trying to scare me to death, Emmett wasn't here to make jokes about me and Jasper never got in this room, when I was here.

And... Edward? well.. that was the most weird thing.

"Edward?" I whispered, hoping he was in the bathroom. (I didn't see the thing for him to need ever the bathroom, but.. still)

I found a note on the pillow. It said

_I went hunting with Carlisle and Esme. _

_I didn't want to go and let you alone with those freaks, but they convinced me._

_I'll be back very very soon. You won't have time to miss me. _

_Take care of yourself and remember I love you._

_Edward._

I love you too, I said to myself.

Well, that explains things. But... that means I'm alone with Emmett, Jasper, Alice and... Rosalie. _Crap. _If Alice tries to dress me with some stupid dresses or something like this, I'm going to kill her. But since then, I must take a bath. And maybe, I'll make my homework for... _ugh! _Sex Ed. Hate it, hate it.

I took a few towels. Then I saw it. On the bed, was a hot pink dress with connecting straps, above the knees with neck opening. I stared at it in disbelief and I cursed Alice like ten million times.

I took a deep breath and entered the bathroom. I looked in the mirror for a second, only to see those horrible dark circles and my _even-more_ pale face.

I let the water flow till it was enough good to wake me up. I took the shampoo and I started washing my hair. I closed my eyes to not let the shampoo enter them and I washed out quickly. I dried and I covered myself in the towel.

I saw with the corner of my eye something weird and when I turned to see what it was, I screamed of horror.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH" I shout lustily. "What the hell happened?"

I stormed out of the bathroom, running to Alice, cursing her in my way. I got in the living room and for my surprise, no one was there either.

So they want to play, huh?

"Don't try to hide. I'll find you soon. You heard me, you little, pushy, moronic brat?" I screamed. "You too Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper. Don't think I forgot you. You're going to pay for this, do you hear me? ALICE!!!!"

I heard a few giggles and I recognized Alice. Then I saw the curtains of the living room moving and from what I knew, the curtains didn't giggle or move.

I ran there and opened the curtains, only to find Alice laughing her head off and Emmett's loudly chuckles.

"So here you were." I glared at them and I was so mad, that I wanted so badly to hit something.. or someone. (in this case I should behave because all I could make it was causing myself bruises).

"WHY MY HAIR IS BLUE????" I screamed as loud as my lungs allowed me.

That made Alice laugh even harder and in a second she was already rolling on the floor with Emmett on her side.

I crossed my arms, mad, and I glared at them. After two minutes, Alice straightened up and looked at me, giggling. Emmett was still on the floor, his body shaken by the laughter.

"So.... are you going to say to me... why my hair is BLUE?" I shout the last word and she bit her lip, staring at my hair.

"But you look so gorgeous." she said and with that, she laughed again.

"If you're not telling me, I'm going to call Edward and he'll say this to Carlisle and Esme. I promise you that they won't be happy." I saw Alice's face fell and she shook her head. She punched Emmett on the head and told him quickly what I said.

He got near us, his face serious.

"What are you going to say in your defense?" I frowned at them.

"Well..." Alice started, but stopped abruptly, looking at Emmett.

"Ok, it was Jasper." Emmett said and Alice gasped.

"WHAT? Jasper didn't make anything. He's innocent. Rosalie was the guilty one."

"Rose is innocent too. Don't try to blame her." Emmett protested, yelling at Alice.

"Oh yes? Then why she gave me the idea?"

"That was a little and naive joke. You took it way too seriously."

"Then why you accepted it? You were so happy when I told you."

"Well... that's because... um... it was a prank and I thought she will have fun with it." Emmett yelled back. My head was hurting from turning so quickly from right to left and from left to right. I was starting to feel dizzy.

"And screaming at us means _fun_." Alice shout and I closed my eyes.

"Guys.. GUYS" they turned to me and they remembered I was with them too. "Please, anyone wants to tell me the truth or I'll have it my way?" I raised my eyebrows, meaning this was the last time I was asking them.

They looked down and the both of them pouted.

"Guilty." they said in choir and Alice continued quickly. "But Rosalie gave us the idea. She had the dye in her room."

My jaw locked and I put my fingers at my temples. I took an extremely deep breath.

"Why?" I asked as calm as I could.

"Because you said that to Edward, before he called me and Rosalie was mad because you made her wear his clothes." Alice whispered.

"And you Emmett?"

"What? I didn't do anything. I just love to put pranks on." he grinned, giving me a playful punch in the arm.

He winked at me then as I became confused.

"And I think now I have seen you more naked, than even Edward, right?"

I froze and I forgot how to breath. Alice looked at me and they started again to giggle, throwing each other nudges.

_Crap, crap, crap, crap.. I was still in the towel. _

I swallowed and as fast as I could I ran upstairs while I screamed at them "Don't think you're done." The laughters stopped abruptly.

I got in the room and I searched for my clothes. I looked under the bed. Nothing. In Edward's wardrobe. Still nothing. In the bathroom, under the pillow, outside. Nothing, nothing, nothing. WHAT THE HELL?

And then a thought crossed my mind as I saw the hot pink dress still on the bed. I fumed and I sit on the bed with my arms crossed.

"I'm not going to wear that." I sulked and seemed that Alice heard, because she was in an instant at my door.

"Oh yes, you are so going to wear it. _Please, please, please._" she begged me, as I glared at her.

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No. I don't want to."

"Yes, you do. Now stop acting like a spoiled brat and dress."

"After you made my hair blue, now you want me to wear that stupid and ugly dress. You know you're starting to exaggerate, right?"

"That's not ugly." she pouted, staring at the dress. She made the puppy-look and I sighed.

I hate her when she was doing that. I couldn't see her that way, so I just went beside her and I put my hand on her shoulder, trying to calm her down. _Damn Jasper, where is he?_ Edward, please, hurry up. Or I'll kill your siblings from making me do this.

I sighed again and I nodded. "Ok, Alice. I'll dress that... stupid, ugly, outrageous dress. For you. But stop with the puppy-looks and don't torture me like this again." I half-smiled and she clapped enthusiastic, hugging me.

"_Yay yay._ I know you were going to give in. So, let's get started." she took the dress in her hands and she was ready to get out of the room, but I stopped her with my finger.

"Wait. I'm not taking that...." Alice opened her mouth to protest but continued quickly. "...if you're not helping me to take off the dye from my hair."

She nodded and in thirty minutes, my hair was all washed up and clean. Not even a drop of blue dye wasn't in my hair. I smiled in the mirror and I half-thank Alice for helping me, letting her know that I was still mad at them.

We got in her pinky, enormous bedroom and she forced me to sit on the chair in front of a big mirror.

"Great. Now you're going to be my guinea pig. You'll be gorgeous and when Edward will return, he will be stunned." she said, as she brought with her thousands and thousands of bags.

I was crazy when I accepted it.

She was singing a weird song with her soprano voice, as she was putting me the lipstick. She made a few footsteps backward to see me more clear and then clapped happily. Oh God. I'm afraid to look in the mirror. I closed my eyes.

"You can see yourself." I opened my eyes and I froze in the chair. "see? You're like a Barbie doll."

I didn't even recognize myself. Who was that beautiful girl in the mirror?

Well, I hate to accept it, but Alice did an amazing job. The dress seems like it was made especially for me.

"well?" she waited anxious my answer.

"Well.. I can't believe it. I'm...."

"... gorgeous." A voice came from behind me and I turned to see Edward smiling at me. "You're absolutely gorgeous. Like always." he took me in his arms and we looked in each other's eyes for a second. Then he leaned over to kiss me, and I closed my eyes, waiting to feel his cold lips pressed on mine, but...

Alice cleared loudly her throat and raised her eyebrows at me.

"Thank you very much, Alice." I smiled at her and she bounced from right to left, smirking.

Then I took Edward's face and I pressed forcefully my lips on his. He kissed me back passionately, holding me by the waist and my arms locked around his neck, pulling him closer. I felt his lips turning into a smile.

"Oh-kay, too much for the pixie one." I heard Alice mumble amused as she let us alone in her room.

**At first I tried to make Edward say _Truth_, but I hadn't an idea of the question and still it was Bella, she coudn't ask him some embarrasing question or something like that. So I changed it in the last second.  
**

**Second, maybe you're wondering what said Bella to Edward before he asked Alice. Well, she was mad at her because she made her strip and she told to Edward to dare Alice to eat an apple. (it's that even making sense? :)) ) Alice saw it and she quickly said _Truth_ instead of _Dare._**

**_If there are misunderstandings about Bella's hair: The dye was just something superficial, that can be washed up at the first bath and it remains nothing, only the natural color of the hair. (When Edward came, Bella's hair was back to normal)  
_**

**I hope you like this chapter and if you have ideas, I'll be happy to hear them. **


	11. Silence

**I own nothing. Stephenie Meyer does. She created the Cullen guys.**

**Silence**

**BPOV**

I pressed once again my lips to his and then he began kissing my jaw, my throat, my collarbone... I was about to lose control of my entire body and my head was already spinning, when we heard an engine outside and a car was parking in front of the house. It was followed by an enthusiastic scream. I recognized Alice and I became worried.

Oh no... Please tell me she didn't do something reckless.

I looked questionably at Edward and he sighed loudly.

"What's that?"

"Come and see."

He took my hand and we got downstairs.

"WHAT. THE. HELL?" I screamed horrified as I saw the crib in the middle of the living room. "Alice, this isn't about you said yesterday. You are nuts. Oh no, you have completely and entirely lost your mind."

"I agree with Bella." Rosalie shocked me with her comment, her expression as horrified as mine.

Alice jumped up and down, excited. Geez, she looked like she was on drugs. We heard the front door slam and there was a _totally-unbalanced-Emmett_ with a diaper on his head, singing 'Baby one more time' by Britney Spears.

"SHUT. UP!" we all screamed at him and he took the diaper off his head and threw it in Edward's direction. He caught it before it hit him and Edward glared at him.

"You're just jealous. You can't accept that I have a great voice."

"Yea, indeed. The voice that makes my ears bleed." Rosalie said sarcastically.

"Hey, that rhymes." Emmett screamed and we groaned in unison.

The door flew open and Jasper came in, exhausted, carrying in his arms something. He was followed by three men with three bags each. I started to feel nauseated. This is going to be bad...

"Where can we put these?" a man asked and Alice took the bags from his hands, carrying them like they were nothing. The man stared at her in disbelief and then shook his head amazed.

She put the bags near the crib and the men left.

"What is this for?" Emmett asked as he was checking the talc powder. "What the.. This is broken. I can't even ..." he didn't finish his sentence, because as he was speaking, he pressed on the bottle and he was covered from head to toe with white powder.

I, Rosalie and Edward were on the ground laughing.

"yeah, yeah.. Laugh all you want.." he said grinning, before he pressed on the bottle in our direction.

"EMMETT D..."

PUFF!

"...ON'T!

Great, now the four of us were white as ghosts, only that they looked gorgeous even all covered up. Rosalie's mouth hang open as she saw her hair full of powder, then turned to Emmett.

"I'm sorry, Rose, seriously..." he gulped when he saw her murderous expression. "Don't hit me too hard." he said with two octaves higher and he ran upstairs, Rosalie chasing him.

I looked at Edward and he looked at me. When we saw each other we burst in laughter and he took me in his arms.

"Let's introduce her to her uncles and aunts." I heard Alice chirp and Jasper groaned in the background. "What makes you happy, dear."

"Edw... Holy crow! What happened to you?" Alice yelled at our ghostly-looks. Jasper frowned confused, but when his eyes met Edward's, he was in hysterics. "OH NO.. Am I missing a new trend? Bella, and I thought you don't have a taste for fashion."

I rolled my eyes." It's powder, Alice. Your idiotic brother covered us with it."

"The powder? EEEEMMEEEETT!! I'm going to kill you. That wasn't for your entertainment." Alice threatened him and we heard a few _zbangs_ upstairs.

I don't think Alice is going to kill him. He will be dead when Rosalie finishes. Poor stupid guy.

Edward's arm tightened around my waist and I knew this was about Alice's excitement and Jasper's frustration. I guessed the reason of her happiness when I saw the crib and when I remembered Alice's words the last day.

Alice recovered soon and she was again that drugged-and-happy-no-matter-what-girl. She took it from Jasper's hands and kissed it. Then she screamed, speaking so quickly that I had to struggle to understand everything.

"Her name is Mary, but we also thought to name her Alice, Elize, Catherine, Elizabeth or Angela. She has two days old, she likes to beat her butt before sleep, she makes something yellow absolutely disgusting and she really really loves me. She actually adores me! See?" she hugged the baby girl – well, doll it was more appropriate, but I didn't want to hurt her feelings – and she started crying.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!! What happened?" Alice screamed, throwing the baby in Jasper's arms.

"I think she's thinking at how much she _loves_ you." Edward chuckled.

"Mr Know-it-All!" Alice pouted. "She loves us, because we are her parents. Look at how quiet she is in her daddy's arms." She looked lovingly at the two of them and then took the baby.

She started crying again and Alice's face fell. I felt pity for her and I thought how to help her.

"Um... maybe she's... hungry?" I said it as a question and Alice's eyes lightened up.

"Of course. The employee told me we have to feed her every three hours. But... what does she eat?" She asked confused.

"She drinks milk, Alice. I think. I mean, don't know. Didn't the employee tell you?"

"Oh yeah... He gave me a bottle.. and something white that smells disgusting." She put the baby in my arms and ran to the bags, throwing them on the ground.

We saw Emmett and Rosalie come together downstairs. Emmett was grinning at us and from his ragged shirt I knew in what the _fight_ turned into. They were still covered with powder, only their faces were clean. _I wonder why..._, I thought sarcastically.

"FOUND IT!!" Alice screamed victorious.

"Alice, you really bought... this? For Sex Ed? I mean, ok, today is Saturday. But... don't you think you're exaggerating? A bit.." I frowned confused at her.

"I was saying the same... She's just too exc...." Jasper started, but he was silenced by Alice's glare. He sighed frustrated.

"Oh, I just remembered. Didn't Carlisle block your credit cards? When and with what did you buy all of this?" I raised my eyebrow at her and she smiled innocent. Edward chuckled, probably reading Alice's thoughts.

We heard the door office open and I knew Carlisle and Esme would come. They were petrified when they saw the crib and all that stuff.

"Um... I bought them before that." Alice chirped. Edward laughed and Alice turned to him, glaring. She shook her head subtly, but Carlisle caught it and he frowned at Alice.

"Seriously?!" And with that, Edward was in hysterics.

I looked confused at him, but he was rolling with laughter. What was so funny? Even Emmett was confused, and that was a huge problem.

"You're such a bad brother, Edward. I thought you knew me, but you are worse than Emmett." Alice pouted, crossing her arms. The baby started to cry in Jasper's arms. He began to swing her and slowly, she stopped crying and she fell asleep. Jasper was such a good father.

"HEY!" Emmett screamed. "I'm the best here." all of us groaned. Emmett just grinned happily. Typical him.

"Alice, what happened here?" Carlisle asked, trying to stay calm, although now and then he was covered by Edward's laughs.

"Nothing. I already said it to you yesterday. It's your granddaughter." she clapped and took Mary from Jasper's arms. She started to cry, immediately as Alice reached for her. I restrained a giggle.

Carlisle was horrified. He was completely in shock. That 'granddaughter' word scared him to death. He looked at Alice, who was bouncing like crazy, then at Mary, who was crying. I saw Esme smile lovingly at the three of them and then kissed Alice and Mary on the cheek.

"Welcome home." she said to the doll and I was about to roll my eyes, when Edward came near me and he was perfectly still. Well, he was trying very hard to stay serious, although I saw his lips fighting a smile.

"Thank you, Esme. I knew you will love her." she put her in the crib to sleep (I was sure she was pissed off because of her crying, but she was a good actress).

Carlisle took a deep breath and that made Edward chuckle. Alice turned again to him, glaring.

"Alice, with what did you buy all of this?" he asked again.

"I told you. I bought them with my money." she mumbled. "before you have canceled my credit cards." she whispered, scowling.

"Alice?"

"It's true. I didn't buy a thing since yesterday." she said innocent. I knew that expression..

"Alice?" Carlisle raised his voice, and he was sounding like he was threatening her.

"But...." she started, but she was silenced by Carlisle's frown. I swear, this was the first time I saw him so mad. I bit my lip and I heard again Edward's chuckle. I gave him a nudge in the ribs. That would let me a bruise. He looked amused at me and then kissed my hand.

"Alice?" now he was literally screaming. All of us startled and looked confused at Carlisle.

Alice pouted and she stared at her feet, crossing her arms at her chest.

"Emmett." she whispered.

"What? I'm innocent I swear." his eyes widened and Rosalie laughed.

"Not you. Your credit cards." Alice mumbled, still pouting.

All of us started to laugh hysterically. Well, except from Carlisle and Alice. Even Emmett was laughing his head off. Of course, that was because he didn't understand what Alice just said. I was holding Edward to not fall down and he was holding me back. I already had tears in my eyes from all that laughing.

"She stole your credit cards." Jasper laughed and Emmett nodded. That made Edward and I fell on the floor.

After five seconds, Emmett realised what that meant and he stopped laughing like an idiot. He looked at us in horror and then stared at Alice.

"YOU STOLE MY CREDIT CARDS!!" he screamed as loud as his lungs allowed him. And believe me that scared the hell out of me.

Then.... silence. No one was breathing – except from me, of course.

"How could you do that to your favourite brother?"

"Oh come on.. Don't be such a queen drama. I didn't spend all the money." Alice defended herself.

"Right. She left you 5 dollars, Emmett, to buy yourself a pair of used boxers." Edward burst in laughter and I giggled.

"5 dollars? But the car costs 12 000." he sulked and all of us stared at him in shock. Carlisle's eyes widened and Esme looked worried at her husband.

Even Rosalie was in shock.

"Emmett, what did you do?" she asked slowly, like she was asking a three year old child.

He shrugged indifferently. "Just bought from Ebay a car."

Again... silence. I jumped five meters when Carlisle screamed.

"That's it. I'm canceling your credit cards." he yelled, looking at Emmett. Edward chuckled in my ear and Carlisle's head snapped in our direction. "That means yours too, Edward. I'm canceling all the credit cards in this house."

"What?" he whispered amazed.

"Carlisle! You can't do that to me. I mean, I have planned a shopping trip tomorrow. With what money am I going to buy the new Victoria Secret bikini?" Rosalie frowned.

"And the car? I already bought it." Emmett jumped in.

"Oh come on, _dad. _The baby needs diapers and milk and water... and, help me Bella." Alice cried. "You're such a good grandfather. You can't leave my daughter die from malnutrition. And she can't wear the same outfit every day. That's against the law." she looked completely horrified by that. "Please, give me my credit cards." she made the puppy look. But Carlisle ignored her and stormed in his office.

I bit my lip. I was trying so hard not to laugh. A giggle escaped from my lips and Edward threw me a dirty look, followed by Rosalie, Emmett and Alice. My face turned red and I looked down.

Jasper was very calm and after a second, I saw them relax too. I was so grateful that he was in the same room. At least, he saved me from four mad-and-without-credit-cards vampires.

"Children, please." Esme interfered. "Alice, that was very rude of you. To steal Emmett's money. And Emmett, I can't believe you just bought a car from Ebay without telling us. Carlisle is right, he must cancel your credit cards, or else, you'll be fighting like enemies. You're still siblings and you knew each other for a century." she made a pause, before turning to me.

"Sorry, Bella. I know you're innocent." she smiled and I smiled too. She went in the office.

In the living room... silence. Everyone was glaring at everyone.

I felt a fuzzy feeling in my stomach and I thanked Jasper for that.

Alice sighed and I looked up at her. Edward groaned.

"And with what money am I going to pay the toys??" Alice whispered sadly.

Five heads snapped in her direction.

We gasped when we heard a scream from the office.

"ALICE!!"

**Thanks for the reviews. I remembered the chapter when Alice's credit cards were canceled and I thought how to continue that. I hope I didn't screw it and I also hope that you will like this chapter. Kisses!!**

**Sara, I answered your question at chapter no 10**. **:)**


	12. FLOP FLEP FLIP

**Thank you for the reviews. This chapter is for all of you, guys, that have read this story.** :)

**FLOP FLEP FLIP**

**BPOV**

No one was speaking. They weren't even breathing. Now and then I could see Emmett glare at Alice, or Rosalie glare at me. Jasper was watching TV and I was trying to do my homework for Sex Ed. I knew Edward wouldn't help me, because he was busy with smacking Emmett's head.

More than 30 minutes passed and the living room was like a burial.

I read my homework and it was...awful.. What was I going to say about pregnancy, for goodness sake?

Well, for now it sounded like this...

_The whist blew and the race began. All the sperm were rushing through the cervix to be the first to fertilise the egg. One little sperm penetrates the egg and cell division begins. The sperm has won and is it time for the egg to start its own journey._

I groaned and five heads snapped in my direction. I blushed and I thought about something else to write. _I'm dead..._

Then, Emmett straightened up and I saw him disappear in the.... kitchen? What the hell was he doing there? Alice gasped and she ran after Emmett. Edward stiffened.

I heard her scream. "Emmett, put that damn pan down. No... don't turn..." and... silence..

BOOM!!!!

We all startled and I buried my face in Edward's chest, scared. He took me in his arms and tried to calm me down.

Rosalie and Jasper ran into the kitchen and I felt a wave of curiosity, thank to Jasper. I bounced up and down and without looking again at Edward, I tripped in the kitchen, meeting the floor.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" I screamed.

Two cold arms took me off ground and I looked horrified at Alice and Emmett.

They were laughing their heads off.. They were crazy?

"EMMETT?? ALICE?" I screamed, terrified. "WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOU?"

Jasper joined them too, only Edward was quiet, trying to calm me down. Rosalie was shocked.

"What were you trying to do, idiot?"

Emmett didn't have his left arm and Alice was missing a finger. I saw them on the floor and in a second, they attached themselves to their bodies. I stared amazed and horrified.

"I got bored. I forgot about the gas." Emmett shrugged.

"Lord help me." I mumbled, slapping my forehead with my palm. "You forgot you are flammable?" I screamed at them.

I shook my head and I went to open a bottle. I was really thirsty. I drank it almost entirely. Then it was when I saw Edward's, Emmett's and Alice's worried expressions.

I leaned forward, my hands on my knees, laughing hysterically.

"A rainbow." I screamed.

"You what? Emmett, I'm going to kill you." Edward yelled and Emmett ran, scared. Edward chased him.

"Sorry, I didn't know she was going to drink it. It was for me. I was just curious how the drugs will affect me." I heard him scream, and I fell on the floor, still laughing.

This... is... so.... funny.

**APOV**

Bella was now with her forehead pressed on the wall and she slammed it hard.

"Oww, Alice... The wall hates me." she slammed it again. "See?"

I started to laugh, but a strange noise was coming from... Jasper? I and Rosalie were death on our tracks when we saw him, with a pan on his head, singing a song about the Civil War.

"Fight. Fight. Fight. Move forward and win." he sang.

Bella joined him too and we were shocked.

Then Bella ran out of the kitchen and I heard the office door open. Oh.... shit.

**CPOV**

I just canceled their credit cards and now... everything will be just quiet. I'm not expecting more fights or misunderstandings. I'm sure that....

Holy crow... What happened? Esme and I heard a BOOM in the kitchen and after ten minutes, Bella stormed in my office, being extremely happy.

"Hi, Carlisle." she said on a seductive tone. Esme blinked and I stared in shock. "How iz you day?" she was speaking incoherently. I looked at Esme and she looked at me.

"Oh Esme.. You are so hot." she giggled.

Esme's face turned livid and I got up from my chair and took Bella in the living room.

"Oh, you naughty boy." she giggled again.

Alice and Rosalie were cracking up, already on the floor. I glared at them, but they were laughing so hard that even the house was shaken.

Outside I heard a few zbangs and Edward entered the house, looking worried at Bella. Emmett's clothes were torn and he was pouting.

"WHY IS BELLA DRUGGED?" I screamed. And then a very-bouncing-and-extremely-weird Jasper came in, with a black cape on his back.

"You can't see me. I'm invisible. Bella, look, I'm Harry Potter." he ran as crazy through the living room, raising his cape.

"Can I be Voldemort?" Bella bounced, clapping. Everyone rolled their eyes. "Harry Potter.. you must die." Bella said on a very creepy voice and then started laughing with Jasper by her side.

"You have to admit it.. this is so cool." Emmett screamed, but four different pairs of hands smacked the back of his head. "What did I do?"

"In a few hours she will be fine. I am worried about Jasper. He's affected by her emotions."

"Voldemort, you'll never catch me. I'm indestructible." Jasper took a pen and he was pointing it at Bella.

"Um... you think he'll be alright?" Alice asked me.

I looked at Jasper. Now he was running through the living room again and pretending to be invisible. "I hope so."

My phone rang in the office and I went to answer it, locking the door in the process.

**EmPOV**

I want to be part of it. Who am I going to be? Ron?

Edward groaned.

_You know, you can be that bad-ass-Cedric_, I laughed and he rolled his eyes.

I KNOW...

"I am Proffesor Snape."

Everyone burst in laughter.

**APOV**

_Bella ran through the living room, screaming _death curses _to Jasper. She saw the phone and she grabbed it in a second, forming a familiar number. _

*End Vision*

I gasped and Edward looked confused for a second at me. I locked my eyes with his, showing him what I saw. His eyes widened up and he ran to catch Bella, before it was too late. She was already lounging for the phone.

"Bella, love.. I think you should sleep." he whispered in her ear.

"Oh no.." she moaned. "I don't want to sleep. Voldemort never sleeps."

"Sweetheart, you are not Voldemort. You're not feeling good and for that matter, you're making nuts Jasper too." he stroked her face but before he even finished talking, she was shaking her head furiously.

"You're angry that you can't be a Death Eater. But don't worry" she smiled lovingly at him "you can be my female partner." she started to laugh again and Emmett and Jasper were in hysterics, Jasper slamming his head to the floor.

I giggled and I heard Rosalie giggle too. Edward was speechless and he turned to us like a robot. He stared at me, then he found Jasper, now walking in four legs, then returned to Bella's face.

She succeeded to escape from Edward's arms and she jumped on the phone. Edward was in trance.

"BELLA!" I screamed and I ran to stop her, but she already dialed.

I caught the phone and tried to take it from her hands.

"Give it to me!" I screamed.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

"Don't act stupid. Give me the phone." I screamed again and the laughs stopped. I heard Emmett's guffaw. "Hey, a fight."

_"Hello? Who's there?" _someone answered the phone.

"You will never defeat me, Hermione Granger."

"_Uh-oh. What, who's there?"_

"Bella, if you're not giving me the phone, I promise you'll be my guinea pig for a month. No, two months." I smirked victorious. I liked the idea, so I decided to let go off the phone, but I froze.

"If you're not giving me the phone, I promise I'll burn your clothes." She screamed back, grinning.

"_Miss Swan? Miss Cullen? What the hell is going on?" _

She took the phone and put it at her ear. "Hi ya, Mr Mason." she giggled. "How ya doin`?"

"_Um... Miss Swan, are you ok?" _

"Me?" she laughed. "You are such a comedian, Mr Mason. I was never better than now."

"_Are you drunk?" _he asked shocked and all of us cracked up.

"Of course no, you silly boy." she said among the giggles and her answer made us be in hysterics, rolling with laughter on the floor.

"_I think I'm going to..." _

"WAIT!" she screamed. "I forgot something so, but so important to tell you." she was playing with a lock of hair, smiling innocent. Edward looked amazed at her and I burst in laughter, even harder.

"Mr Mason... Emmett is in love with you." she said that on a very seductive way and we roared with laughter.

*The line went dead*

Edward fell on the ground. I looked at the ceiling, laughing my ass off and then I heard Emmett's frightening scream.

"BEEEEELAAAA!!"

She started laughing and she went to hug Rosalie. She froze and her face turned paler than ever.

**RPOV**

What. The. Hell?

She hugged me and when I thought it couldn't be any worse, she planted a kiss on my cheek.

"You are a bitch, Rosalie." she giggled and I was ready to rip her head off when she continued. "but I love you as a sister." she giggled again and started dancing to the kitchen, letting us speechless and frozen.

Again, no one was saying a word. We were just staring at each other, half amazed, half shocked.

We startled when we heard Alice gasp. Edward's head snapped in her direction and he was gone.

"Where's Bella?" Emmett asked and from what I noticed Jasper was gone too.

I shrugged and Alice screamed. "She's going to the lake."

"Cool. POOL PARTY!!" Emmett yelled excited and he was already on his way upstairs to take his swimsuit, when Alice screamed:

"No, idiot. She can't swim." she remembered us and we ran to the lake.

**EdPOV**

Where is she? She can't be too far.

Oh yeah, if you don't count Jasper. But in his mood, he probably took her in his back and they ran to the lake.

I ran as fast as I could and I tried to concentrate on Jasper's thoughts and Bella's heartbeat, which were becoming more loud.

"A flip flap jump or a flop flep flip one?" I heard Jasper chuckle.

"A FLOP FLEP FLIP one." she screamed. "Sounds more fun."

My breath stopped and I continued to run, faster and faster. Damn Emmett, damn Jasper, damn the soda.

"Ready?" Jasper mumbled. _Oh my God, oh my God... this is just so freaking fantastic.. _

I saw them then.

"If you're not putting Bella down in this moment, I'm going to give you a _freaking_ punch in the gut." I screamed and Jasper looked at me, innocent.

"Hey, that's not fair." Bella cried, bouncing on Jasper's shoulders. "I still want the _flop flep flip_ jump." she pouted and crossed her arms.

"Bella, love, please. Get down of there."

_A loser._

I glared at Jasper and he... AND HE WHAT? He stuck his tongue out at me? Ok, this is getting out of hand. I mean, Jasper, the emo boy, the suicidal one?

Bella sighed dramatically and Jasper help her to get down.

I heard some noises and Alice, Emmett and Rosalie came from the forest, searching for Jasper and Bella.

_Why the fuck did they tell me not to take my swimsuit? Bella's fine, like a sugar-high-extremely-happy chick, _Emmett thought.

_Well, nothing happened, _Rosalie sighed relieved. I felt gratitude in that moment for her but it was all vanished immediately. _Ok, now we can have fun?_

"Jazzy" Alice yelled excited that nothing happened to his husband.

Emmett started bouncing. _Can't take it anymore. _

And in within a second, he was running towards Bella and he grabbed her by the waist.

"Yay, I call the _flop flep flip_ jump." she clapped enthusiastic and I was about to rip his head off, when he jumped in the water, taking Bella after him.

"EMMETT!!" all of us screamed and I jumped after them in the water.

**Did you see the New Moon trailer? It's so awesome. Well, it could have been better, but I still love - excuse me - adore it. I think I'm going to cry at the scene when he leaves her. That's so sad. And I'm so happy they won 5 awards on the MTV. Kristen was so funny when she dropped the popcorn, but I was really looking forward for the kiss. :( I would have loved if they have kissed.**

_**Q: if bella was not there who would have been Edwards partner!? (Sara)**_

_**A: Um... well, that's a very good question.. I didn't even think about it. :)) but it would have been Jessica or Lauren, since they are so obssesed with him. Um.. I honestly don't know. Shame on me! :)**_


	13. CliCk

**CLICK**

**BPOV**

Emmett grasped my hand and I clapped enthusiastic. _Yay, we are going to swim. This is going to be really fun.. YAY!!_ I tried to smile at Edward, but in within a second, I was already in the water, seeing only Emmett's butt as he was swimming to the end of the lake. Then I heard a _splash!_

I tried to keep my eyes open, but I couldn't and my lungs were full of water. I watched how the darkness was getting me and I squeezed Emmett's hand which was still holding me. He looked back and with my last powers, I took his face in my hands and pressed my lips on his. He was frozen and shocked, but I didn't care. I just wanted to breathe and to stay alive, if that's possible. He's a vampire, he doesn't need oxygen to breathe.

When I began to feel a little bit better, I felt two cold arms, wrapping around my waist and pulling me to the surface. I watched how Emmett stood frozen, on the bottom of the lake, mouthing something.

Edward pulled me out and I gasped for air. Alice, Rosalie and Jasper were all over me.

"Love, are you ok? It's something hurting you?" Edward asked anxious, as he stroked my cheek and kissed gently my forehead.

"BELLA! BELLA! You're alive." Alice screamed.

"Well, thank goodness you're sane again." Jasper sighed relieved and he gave me a little punch in the arm, that made me dizzy.

Rosalie just looked at me nervous, but not saying a word. She tried to smile and I smiled too. Well, at least my relationship with Rosalie is improving. I hate to argue with her. She's still my sister. I mean, not literally, but still.

"I swear I'm going to kill Emmett this time." Edward said through his teeth. Rosalie's head snapped, turning quickly to the lake and Emmett's head popped out. Only that he looked like he was....dead. Trust me, that was really frightening.

Alice laughed. Rosalie frowned at him and she turned to Edward and me.

"Why is he looking like Mike Newton when he sees you, Edward?" she asked and a giggle escaped from my lips. Her head snapped in my direction. "That bad?"

I shook my head and I opened my mouth to speak, but Alice screamed:

"SHE KISSED HIM"

Ok, if looks could kill, now I would be dead and buried. The lasers from Rosalie's glare made a hole through my head and I froze.

Edward snorted at Rosalie's thoughts. "Don't be absurd, Rosalie. She's not in love with him and she doesn't want to steal your husband. She needed oxygen."

I looked at Emmett and he was still lifeless, like a floating statue.

"We didn't kiss, Rosalie. I swear to God. I just... touched his lips?" I smiled sheepishly, but the look on Rosalie's face didn't soften.

We stared at each other for almost two minutes when I heard Alice's sigh and she ran into Rosalie, throwing them both into the water.

"POOL PARTY!!"

"Damn it, Alice! And I don't even have my swimsuit." Rosalie sulked.

Then we heard Emmett's little whisper. "she. kissed. me." and there was silence.

I blushed and when my eyes met Edward's, he burst in laughter, making Alice go in hysterics too. Rosalie gave Alice a splash in the face and she frowned at her. I knew something bad it was coming.

Alice grinned and she swam underwater. After a second, Rosalie disappeared too, screaming: "AAAALIIIIIIIIIIIIIICEEEEEEEEEE!!!" That woke up Emmett, who was hot on my heels. He looked around and he saw me, Edward and Jasper standing there, and _admiring the __sun._

"Well, Bella, I know you're one frightening human." he winked at me.

I stared shocked at him and then I screamed. "I JUST NEEDED AIR. THAT WASN'T A KISS, PEOPLE. WHY IS SO HARD TO BELIEVE IT?"

Emmett shrugged indifferently and that made Jasper go in hysterics.

Now I was really pissed. I frowned at both of them and crossed my arms, pouting, when I heard a little chuckle. Slowly, I turned to Edward, and when he saw my glare, he smiled apologetic. He was almost scared. That made me want to laugh, but I restrain it, and I got up.

I took Jasper off guard and I pushed him in the water. "HEY!"

I raised an eyebrow and Edward understood, nodding unwillingly. He threw himself into the water, making a big splash, that made Emmett sink.

Laughing, I jumped too.

"Ow..." I moaned. "Emmett, that was my leg."

I alighted on Emmett's arm and that was freaking paintful.

Emmett met Edward's glare and he went underwater immediately. In a second, Alice and Rosalie's heads popped out and they were laughing their asses off. "Emmett's _crying _on the bottom of the lake._"_

_**Home**_

We arrived home and we found a note from Carlisle and Esme. They had an appointment. Something with the hospital and they had to leave immediately. Well, I was afraid to think about it, but... now we were alone..

As calm as I could – well, I was edgy – I jumped on the couch and I opened the TV.

"You know I can feel you, right?" Jasper asked rhetorically and I rolled my eyes. _Stupid sensitive emo vampire._

"I'm NOT EMO!" Jasper yelled and everyone burst in laughter. Except from me. I blushed.

Major oops. I was speaking my thoughts out loud.

I changed the channels and the couch started to bounce under me. That's when I saw Rosalie and Alice jumping up and down, super-mega-ultra excited. I gulped and I looked suspiciously at Edward. He frowned at the girls and before he even looked at me, the remote was out of my hands.

"EEEEEEEEEMMMMMMMEEEEEEEETTTTT!!" I screamed.

"What?" he asked inattentively, as he was changing the channels. Jasper went near him and he was as concentrated as Emmett.

And that really took me off guard: Edward joined them too. They absolutely forgot we were in the same room. I stared at them in disbelief and in shock, Alice and Rosalie pouting with their arms crossed.

Alice tapped her foot on the floor, but neither of the boys turned around.

Oh, so this was all about. Football (Barcelona vs Manchester). They wanted to watch a match of football. Yea, great.. And now what?

"Eh-heemmmm.." Rosalie cleared loudly her throat, hoping the boys will turn, but... nothing. They were in trance, their eyes glued to TV.

Alice's eyes widened up and she put herself in front of the TV, blocking their view. They whistled and groaned. "Alice, get lost." Jasper said and Alice froze, her mouth open from the shock. She threw lasers through her eyes at him, but he was trying to watch the match. Good thing he hadn't looked, or else he would have died.

Rosalie had to go and take her from there. She was unable to move.

"Emmett, give me the remote." Rosalie said on her most calm voice ever.

He frowned at the TV and then punched Edward in the arm. "See? There was no goal."

"Emmett, I said.. give me the remote." she repeated, only this time, through her teeth.

Nothing...

"EMMETT, GIVE ME THAT FUCKING REMOTE." she screamed as loud as her lungs allowed her. "Emmett, I swear, if that remo...." she couldn't finish because the house was suddenly full of screams and joy from the boys.

"GOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLL!!!!" they yelled, excited, jumping up and down. Jasper took Edward in his arms, and they started jumping like crazy and we stared at them with our mouths open and our eyes huge.

What. The. Fuck?

After five minutes, they calmed down and we were able to close our mouths. Alice sniffed and frowning, she _attacked _Emmett, trying to get the remote.

"I. Am. Not. Going. To. Miss. _Grey's. Anatomy. _Because. Of. You. Three." Alice struggled to open Emmett's hands, but he quickly gave it to Edward, who handed it to Jasper and so on. And they were doing this without taking their eyes off TV. What the crap?

Alice gave up and she went next to Rosalie, looking hopeless.

Then something smacked my foot.

"OW!!" I screamed. "What's wrong with you?" I yelled in Rosalie's face.

She shrugged. "Damn it. I thought he will turn around." she crossed her arms, glaring at Edward. I glared too at him. So a match was much more important than my safety? Ok, I know I'm being absurd... but still. "Well, that was with _Don't hurt Bella _thing." she smiled mischievously and I gulped.

"Rose, stop thinking at the 50 methods how to kill Bella and help me here. I don't want to lose this episode." Alice scolded her, but she kept her smile on her face. I took a deep breath.

Alice put a finger under her chin, thinking. Rosalie did the same. I sighed several times, but no one was paying me attention.

CLICK! I have an idea.

I ran into the kitchen and I opened the refrigerator, taking the first thing I saw. Ohhh, this is going to be so fun.. I giggled and I got back in the living room. Rosalie looked at me confused and Alice burst in laughter.

I put myself in front of the TV and as fast as I could, I put whipped cream on their faces. On their nose, mouth, cheeks, ears.. even in their hair. They were so funny, that I started to laugh hysterically.

They blinked twice, before they screamed.

"BEEEELLLLLAAAA!!"

Alice and Rosalie were in hysterics, rolling with laughter and slamming their heads on the floor.

"Are you on drugs?" Emmett squeaked. "Smells like hell."

Did Emmett... squeak? Oh my God. I'm laughing so hard that I already have tears in my eyes.

"So, you got the picture. You give us the remote, everything will be fine and quiet. You're not, then you'll have to suffer the consequences." I threatened them, raising my eyebrow. "And that means you have to eat whipped cream for a week." They flinched and that made Alice and Rosalie laugh their heads off.

They saw that I wasn't joking and Edward gave me unwillingly the remote. I smiled smugly at him and I showed thumbs-up to Alice and Rosalie, who were again excited.

We sit on the couch, near three whipped-cream-sulky-and-irritated-boys, and Alice changed on _Grey's Anatomy_. Rosalie's face fell when she saw that the episode ended one minute ago.

"Yay. So that means we can watch the match?" Emmett grinned victorious.

"Nope." Alice said emphasizing 'p'. "That means a new episode is going to begin." she clapped enthusiastic and I giggled. Rosalie's good mood returned back.

"Uuuuhhhh..." the boys exclaimed.

_After a minute. _

"It's over yet?" Emmett asked.

"No." Rosalie whispered, totally concentrated.

_After five minutes._

"Now?" Jasper asked this time.

Alice shook her head, like a robot, her eyes glued to TV. The boys groaned and with the corner of my eye, I saw Edward slapping his forehead with his palm.

_After 30 seconds. _

"It's over now?" Edward asked and we turned to him, frowning.

"Shhhh." we silenced them and they sulked, crossing their arms at their chests.

We watched for almost five minutes more, when the commercials began. Emmett, Jasper and Edward straightened up and they were staring at us.

"The remote, please." Edward said on a formal voice.

"It's not over. This are only the commercials." I smiled at them.

"What? But you're watching for almost 15 minutes." Jasper froze.

"Yea, but the episode has 50 minutes. So, you'll have to wait." Rosalie shrugged indifferently. Seeing their expressions, Alice and I burst in laughter. Emmett was almost fainting, Jasper's mouth hanged open and Edward's face was more pale than ever.

"But we are losing the match." Emmett cried.

"Sorry, sweetie.. I guess you'll find out tomorrow who won." Rosalie stroked Emmett's cheek and he stared in her eyes.

The commercials ended and the episode began. We were so concentrated that we didn't see when Emmett disappeared from the couch.

We only saw the TV disappear as Emmett took it and ran with it into the woods, followed by Edward and Jasper.

We looked at each other, totally pissed and angry, and then screamed "EMMETT!!!!!!!"

"I guess you already know you need electricity for it to work, right?" I screamed and I was sure they heard, because someone yelled "Oh Crap."

**A/N I guess it's sort of funny. I actually love to see the Cullen boys watching football, that's cracking me up. And with Alice, Rosalie and Bella in the view, that's disaster. Hope you enjoy this chapter and thank you for the reviews. **


	14. JokesAboutEmmett day

**Jokes-About-Emmett day**

**EmPOV**

Oh crap. I totally forgot about the electricity. Damn the guy that invented it. Why aren't TVs working by sunlight or something? And now I must think.

Edward started to laugh hysterically. "Like you can, Emmett."

"You wish you have my brain." I grinned at him and Jasper joined him.

"Emmett, stop. You're killing me." Jasper laughed.

Ok, ok. Ignore those weirdos. Think, Emmett, think..

"Oh no.. Emmett!" Edward's eyes widened up. "Your head!" he scowled. "It's burning." and with that he was in hysterics. Jasper was slamming his head on the tree.

"Oh ha ha. Let's make fun of the poor Emmett." I said sarcastically.

I GOT IT, I screamed in my mind and that put Edward on alert. He was watching carefully my moves. Ha! Like he can beat me.

"Don't forget I'm faster than you." he raised his eyebrow.

"I can totally beat you, Eddiekins." I grinned, as I started to run towards the house.

"Hey, you cheat." I heard him scream, but I was already there. I caught the wires and pulled them after me. I saw a blur and Edward was death on his tracks, when he saw what I carried. I grinned at him, victorious. "I told you."

As I ran deeper in the forest, four different voices screamed my name.

"EMMMMEEEEEEEETTTT" followed by a piercing scream "WHAT THE FUCK?" Umm, that was Rosalie. Crap.

"Emmett, what are you doing?" Jasper yelled shocked.

"I'm the hero here. We can watch the match now." I smirked, but Jasper was just staring. "Ok, ok, you don't need to thank me. I know I'm a genius."

"And an idiot." Jasper shook his head. "Emmett, think about it, please. You got the wires. But where are you going to put them, if here aren't plugs?"

I stared at him, confused. What the heck? Plugs? Plugs for what?

Oh... Ooooooh. Now I get it. Of course, plugs. Duh..

"OH CRAP." I screamed. How should I know the wires need plugs? I'm not Edward. Duh.. And I'm losing the match. Damn the TV. Damn the plugs. Damn the wires.

"I'm wondering.." Jasper frowned. ".. from where did you get the wires?"

"Ummm...."

**RPOV**

Alice, Bella and I froze in the living room. Why. My. Husband. Is. So. Stupid? From all of them, he has the highest level of stupidity. I mean, who the hell is willing to steal the wires, letting the whole house in the darkness and then running with them? Of course, that must have been Emmett. The idiot of the idiots.

"Ok, now I'm really pissed." Bella whispered.

Well, at least I could see in the darkness. Bella was totally blind.

"Rosalie." Alice addressed me on a very formal voice. "I'm thinking to rip Emmett's head off. Would you let me?"

"My pleasure. I'm with you." I nodded and I saw Bella nodding too.

Someone started to cry and Alice startled, jumping five meters up.

OK, that's the first.

"Oh no. I forgot Mary." she ran to the crib and took the doll. She searched for the bottle and Bella helped her with the milk. Eww.. probably smells and tastes disgusting.

"Isn't she sweet?" Alice sang, kissing her on the cheek.

"She is probably hating the darkness." I shrugged.

Mary started to cry again.

"And me." Alice's face fell and Bella patted her on the shoulder.

"Yea right. She loves you, Alice. Aren't you her _mother?_" Bella smiled. "The children love their mothers. So stop moping. You are great."

I have to admit it. Bella is growing on me. I don't feel the same hatred I was feeling for her at the beginning. Actually I'm not sure I ever felt hatred for her. It's just that... you know, the old story.

"You should let her sleep." Bella suggested and Alice nodded. She sighed and put Mary in the crib.

**EmPOV**

"You WHAT?" Jasper screamed.

"I know, I know.." I rolled my eyes. That's when Eddiekins appeared.

"Emmett, put the wires back or you'll die." he hissed.

"What now? You're pretending to be Alice?" I grinned and he opened his mouth to talk but I cut him out immediately. "Yeah right. _Put the wires back_. Ok, dad." I said pouting and Edward snorted.

**BPOV**

I yawned and I tried to go upstairs, but I tripped and I fell down. Great, another bruise...

Emmett and his stupidity. Who wants children when they have Emmett? He's like a two year old child, high on sugar and unbalanced.

I tried to make a step but again BUFF! on my face. Ow, that was my nose. I hope Edward will find me, at least alive with all this tripping.

I felt a cold arm catch me and I was about to jump in his arms, when he stopped me. What was wrong with him? I smelled bad or something like that?

"Are... you.. ok?" I asked hesitantly. I thought I saw him nod, so I didn't insist. He drove me upstairs.

Oh damn it. I hate the darkness.

He put me on the bed and I searched for his face. I took it in my hands and my face was just inches from his face, when he started to scream.

"Bella, what the hell are you trying to do? Kill me?"

"ROSALIE?" I screamed horrified. "What are you doing here?"

"Trying to help you." she screamed back and I took a deep breath, trying to calm down.

And then it hit me. I was.. I just... Oh no.. I was going to kiss.. Rosalie.

I took the pillow and I covered my face with it.

"I'm sorry, Rosalie." I said, but I don't think she understand it, because of the pillow.

"First Emmett, now me, huh?" she giggled. Shocked, I took off the pillow from my face, only to see her smiling amused at me. I blinked twice, before speaking.

"Aren't you.. mad or wanting to rip my head off?" I raised my eyebrow. She continued giggling.

"To your surprise and mine... no." I smiled too.

OK, that's... wow. I can't believe it. That's a... good thing, I think.

We heard a few noises outside and we went to the window only to find Emmett _wrestling_ with the wires. I laughed and soon, Rosalie joined me too.

"He won't make it." Rosalie giggled.

I saw Edward appear from the woods and he was running towards Emmett. Then a very-alarmed-and-worried-Alice came in the view, trying to stop Emmett.

But seemed that it was too late, because we saw a very strong light and then screams..

"EMMETT!" Edward screamed in the same moment Alice did "YOU IDIOT!"

"Oh no.." Rosalie groaned and she was gone. Great, now I was stuck in this room, alone.

**EmPOV**

Oooops.

"Ooooops? You made a short circuit and you just say _Oooops_?" Edward yelled in my face.

"You'll explain this to Carlisle by yourself. He and Esme won't be happy. I can see that." Alice scolded me.

"Oh please, tell me, he didn't." Rosalie came out of nowhere, frowning at me.

"Yes, he did." Jasper was behind me.

"What are you trying to do? Driving me crazy?" I screamed. "Is it today Jokes-About-Emmett day?" I pouted.

They stared at me. Rosalie was the first one to give in. She came and stroked my cheek, smiling adoringly. I wanted to kiss her lips and I leaned over... and over... and... What the fuck? Jasper's hand was between my lips and Rosalie's.

"Jasper!!" we both screamed.

"Remember the dare?" he smiled victorious and Rosalie went next to Alice, frowning.

"Oh." I mumbled.

There was silence for almost ten seconds, when Jasper broke it.

"Seems that we have to stay in the darkness for awhile."

Everyone nodded. I sighed.

Then all of us startled when someone in the house screamed. "AAAAAAHHHH"

Edward's eyes narrowed as he ran in the house to save his _precious _Bella. Alice's mouth hanged open and she followed immediately Edward.

"I'm.. ok." Bella screamed at us. "I just.... tripped."

**I love Emmett and his stupidity. jaja**

**To be honest, I suck at electricity. I don't even know when it's supposed to be a short circuit (I know, stupid me jaja), but I hope the chapter is funny.  
**

**I thought to make a few extras when I finish this story. And for the extras, you may choose a chapter that you love the most and I will make it from your favorite character's point of view. Review. **


	15. Bruises, injuries and lots of bandages

**Bruises, injuries and lots of bandages**

**BPOV**

"Oh no..." Rosalie groaned and she was gone. Great, now I was stuck in this room, alone.

I tried to look outside, but it was so dark I couldn't distinguish none of them. Everyone was all over Emmett, screaming at him. He seemed that he damaged the electricity in the house. Of course. That was Emmett. The stupid one who only knew how to cause troubles.

I decided to go downstairs. I made a step and everything was alright. After ten steps more, I remembered there must be the stairs. But where? I couldn't see anything.

I made a step. Oh my God.. That was the most stupid decision I've ever taken. "AAAAAAHHHH" I screamed as I was rolling downstairs. Ouch. So many bruises. Owwww... I think that was my ankle. Damn it. Emmett will make jokes about it. But wait, I mustn't think about Emmett in this moment, right?

I mean, for goodness sake, I would get myself lots of serious injuries.

When I was already down, Edward's hands caught my waist and took me in his arms. Now I feel protected. I sighed happily, forgetting about my ankle and everything.

Alice's scream scared me to death. "Bella, are you alive?"

"I'm... Ok. I just.... tripped."

"Bella, you're hurt." Edward froze and put me quickly on the couch, trying to see how bad I was. His cold fingers were barely touching my skin, but it started to burn. Ugh. And _the traitor_ began to fly in my chest like crazy. I thought I saw him smile. I only thought, because I couldn't see anything. Weird feeling.

"I'm fine." I said, but when his hand touched my ankle, I screamed like hell. "OOOOWWWW..." I closed my eyes and then whispered quickly. "Ok... I think I sprained my ankle."

"Alice, bring me some bandages from Carlisle's office." Edward said firmly. Alice disappeared and then I saw another shadow. Bigger than Alice. That could be just one person.

"Emmett! Take that damn saw outside. What the hell are you thinking?" Edward screamed angrily. A saw? Did he just say a saw? What is Emmett doing with a saw?

"Ooh.. I thought you were going to operate her." Emmett whispered pouted.

"WHAT?" I screamed scared. "Emmett, take that damn saw outside." I repeated Edward's words. Emmett sighed theatrical and then he disappeared. "He wasn't serious, was he?" I asked Edward.

"You don't want to know." he whispered. He touched gently my ankle. "It's still hurting you?"

"Yeah, but I think it will pass after an hour or two." I mumbled.

"Alice, give me the bandages." Edward whispered and after two minutes my ankle was bandaged and fine. I sighed relieved and I felt Edward's lips kissing my cheek. I smiled happily, but I started to feel a new pain. On my face.

"Ow..." I moaned. Edward stiffened. What did he see? "Edward, my face hurts." I moaned again.

"Of course." Alice giggled. "You're purple."

My eyes widened up. "I'm what? And why is it so amusing, Alice? Edward, bring me a mirror. Oh yeah and a lantern. Oh no, I think I'm all bruised up."

"Alice, can't you just shut up?" Edward hissed at the pixie. I didn't see Alice's reaction, but I knew it was like sticking her tongue out at him. I giggled, but damn. That hurt.

"Uuuff.. That's definitely not something good." I heard Rosalie whisper.

Edward came with a mirror and I held the lantern. I put it on my face and I screamed like hell, when I saw my purple face, full of bruises. My arms and my legs were too injured. Oh my God. I looked like a weird copy of Terminator.

"I'm ugly..." I groaned, as I crossed my arms at my chest. Edward put gently his arms around my waist, not wanting to hurt me again and kissed the top of my head, then my cheeks.

His cold lips were sooooooo great.

"You're gorgeous." he whispered in my ear and I felt his cold breath down my neck. I shivered.

"I'm not. Look at me. I'm purple from head to toe."

"Don't be absurd, Bella. You're beautiful." he whispered again, kissing now the corner of my lips. I frowned, although his lips were now almost touching mine.

"Want to bet?" I asked, raising my eyebrows. Ok, please, the Oscar for the most stupid person in existence.

_Bella, he was just about to kiss you, for the love of all that's holy. What's wrong with you?_

"What an idiotic question is that?" he took my face in his hands and now he was staring into my eyes, scowling. I shrugged and I pouted like a five year old. Damn it. I started to act like Emmett.

"Hormones..." I shrugged again and I heard his quiet chuckle. I sighed, but then I heard a bang and the principal door flew open. Emmett stormed in with Jasper – they were the only ones outside, so I assumed it was them – and Emmett jumped on the couch, super excited. I moaned when my ankle moved because of his jumping.

"Wow, Bella. You look like a plum." he laughed.

"Oh, ha ha. That's so funny." I replied, sarcastically. I frowned at him, but that made him laugh harder. But then, his eyes lightened up and Alice and Edward, both snorted. I froze, but Jasper put an arm on my shoulder and I calmed immediately. Good thing he was close.

"I know.. We can play _Take care of Bella._" he said enthusiastically.

I made the most disgusted expression I've ever had. Everyone rolled with laughter at my face. Of course, the bruises were making it even _funnier_. Oh God, I'm asking too much, if you'll bury me ten meters underground, where Emmett can't find me and torture me with his stupidity? Please, I promise to be a good girl, just please.

"Oh yeah? And how you're supposed to do that?" Jasper asked sarcastically.

"Hmm... taking care of Bella?" Emmett shrugged, and all of us laughed again. He grinned at me and then winked.

"It's my turn." he screamed and without taking another breath, I was already on his back, running with him upstairs. I protested, punching him everywhere I could, but of course, that meant another bruises. Great...

"Emmett!!!" the four vampires screamed from downstairs and in a second, Edward was already next to him, glaring.

"Put Bella down, Emmett. NOW!" he hissed and I smiled victorious.

HA! What's going Emmett to do now?! Oh, I love Edward. Now, Emmett will put me down and everything....

"Oh nooooo." I screamed scared as Emmett locked us in his room. "Emmett, what the fuck are you doing? Put me down in this instant. And please, unlock the door." I fumed.

He was laughing, when I finally met the floor, but I was jumping in a foot. Edward knocked furiously at the door. "Emmett, if you don't unlock the door now, I promise I'll break it."

"Oh yes, please do." I begged him.

"I don't think so, Eddie. Esme hates when something is broken in the house." Emmett laughed hysterically. I just stared at him amazed. So what? Now I was locked here with Emmett till dawn? I shook my head horrified.

"Edward, pleeeease, please, please, just destroy the door and come. I don't want to fall asleep here with your brother. And it's dark. And scary. Just break it!" I begged again, pouting.

Emmett stared at me sadly. He was a great actor or he was really sad. But definitely, the look on his face broke my heart and I started to give in. Crap. I had the feeling that this wasn't good.

"I promise I'll get you, Bella." Edward said through the door, but I sighed defeated.

"You know what? Just drop it. I think I'll remain here." I whispered, shrugging. Emmett clapped enthusiastically – he reminded me of Alice.

"What?" Edward asked, but I could recognize other voices too. Like Rosalie's and Alice's. Jasper laughed. "Emmett, don't even think about it. And how the heck did you get those?"

I turned confused to Emmett, only to find the rest of the bandages in his big hands. "I don't know." And he didn't know, because he had this funny puzzled expression on his face.

"_Oooops, they were still on the couch, when Emmett came. I forgot to take them_." Alice screamed back, so that I could hear, but after that, she mumbled something else, but I didn't hear. Edward sighed loudly.

"_What's with that smell? OH no... Mary, for goodness sake, what is that? Ewwww... And this outfit was my favorite. Jasper, I'll go take her a new outfit and you change her diaper. I'll be back in a second. Just call me when you're done_." Alice said quickly. Oh poor Jasper. I felt pity for him. That physic. She found an excuse to escape from changing herself the diaper.

"I'm coming on the window." I heard Edward say and then I knew he was gone from the door.

I smiled involuntarily. Edward will _kidnap_ me soon. Don't want to know what Emmett is thinking right now.

"Time for plan B." Emmett looked so excited.

"Oh. There is a plan B?" I asked scared. I gulped, and I jumped to the bed. I sit down, but again. Before I took another breath, Emmett was all over me, bandaging my everything.

"Emmett, stop it, stop it. What are you doing?" I tried to asked, as he was covering me. "Emmett!!!"

"What? I just try to take care of you, right? You should definitely bandage all those bruises."

"You're making me more." I hissed and he stopped, dead on his tracks. He stared at me, with his eyes widened up. He mouthed _Rosalie_, like he thought she would be mad if I get other injuries. Edward would totally kick his butt.

He looked at my bandaged body and he was on the floor, rolling with laughter. I heard the pictures and the furniture shake.

"Emmett, I know what you're doing. You should run." Edward screamed and I figured out his voice was coming from under the window.

I wanted to go there, but I couldn't.

"I'm like a mummy." I cried.

"Believe me. You're prettier than Tutankhamen." Emmett laughed again.

"Oh, that helps a lot." I mumbled sarcastically and I crossed my arms.

Someone knocked in the window and I looked up to find Edward's gorgeous face. He was scowling at Emmett, who was now next to me on the bed, looking innocent. Yeah right. I tried to move, but my legs and my hands were stuck. I shook my body, but all I could realize was fall down with a thud.

"Oww... Not another bruise." I moaned.

"Bella, are you alright?" Edward asked scared. I shook my head, but that hurt. A lot.

Then I heard another scream. It was Alice, who was now at the door, knocking like crazy. That put Edward on fire and he knocked at the window.

My head was spinning. Emmett was staring confused at the door, then at the window. Then back at the door, then at the window. And again at the door and....

"Emmett, you should release Bella." Alice screamed, but... did I just hear a giggle from her?

"But we are having fun." Emmett pouted.

"Correction. You are having fun. I'm like a pickle in a bottle." I frowned.

"Open the damn door, Emmett. Carlisle and Esme are coming home." When Alice mentioned them, he grabbed me from the floor – finally – and put me on the bed – why?. "They are not alone, idiot. Let go of Bella or you'll have big problems."

They aren't alone? Why she said that? It's someone coming with them? But isn't too late for visitors? Just tell me it isn't someone I know and I'll be relaxed.

"It's Charlie, you stupid. Come on, open the door." Emmett and I froze.

My eyes widened up and I turned quickly to Emmett and he turned to me. We stared at each other for almost ten seconds then I said breathless. "Lock me in the cupboard."

**What do you think about this chapter? I'm sorry if it's not funny.  
**

**I wrote it quickly, because in my country just appeared _Breaking Dawn _(I know, strange, but yaaay. Finally!) and I want so badly to read it.**

**Thanks for the reviews. You're making my day. :)**


	16. Threats

**Threats**

**BPOV**

We were now in the living room. Edward decided to protect me against idiots – cough cough Emmett cough cough – and now I was sitting in his lap. I was nervous, scared and... enthusiastic? Why was I enthusiastic? I even clapped. Everyone turned to stare at me. I mean, I think, because it was still dark.

"Sorry." I mumbled, blushing. Then I remembered. Jasper. But still, why was he happy? "Jasper, are you ok?" I asked hesitantly.

He moaned, and then he chuckled. Weird? "Emmett." he said it like an explanation. Oh, of course. Emmett was happy and he handed it over to Jasper who handed it over to us. Was that even making sense?

Alice has foreseen that Charlie, Carlisle and Esme will be here in twenty minutes. And that Charlie will be shocked with my _new color _of skin. And I really comprehend him. Even more, when Emmett made me more bruises on the arms. Edward thought to kill him, but Alice reminded him of Carlisle and he just punched him in _different_ places. I was actually expecting more.

"Mm... I should give you a makeup." Alice whispered, staring at me. I froze and Edward felt it immediately. He brushed my hair and I relaxed.

"No, you shouldn't." I mumbled.

"And a new dress." she continued, ignoring me.

I shook my head, scared to death. "No, you REALLY shouldn't." I wasn't enough purple? Still, I wouldn't fight with her. Maybe that's why on her face grew a big smile. Damn it. _Torture the poor human_.

"Don't be such a baby." she giggled, when she heard my accelerate heart. "Rose, come on. We have an extremely hard job to do."

"Extremely hard?" I repeated skeptically. I turned to Edward, mouthing 'save me'. Why was he still on the couch? I need help. I'm going to be tortured. Emmett laughed hysterically, seeing my expression and then I saw something what I thought it was impossible. Jasper bouncing. I started to laugh too, forgetting about my dark – literally and figuratively – future, as I was dragged in Alice's pink bedroom.

**RPOV**

I giggled when I saw Jasper bouncing on the couch. Probably Emmett's emotions are too strong for him. I wonder how he feels when I and Emmett are around him when we...

Edward coughed, in his attempt to interrupt my thoughts. I giggled again.

_Trying to save your innocence?_ I thought playfully, without being sarcastic. I was sure he rolled his eyes, but didn't say a word.

"Oh I don't think you must waste your time on me. Besides, in twenty minutes you will be able to do just my hair or face. I guess you are tired and I'm too. And... I... I don't need makeup or a dress." Bella babbled.

"I'm happy you have a great opinion about yourself, Bella." Alice said sarcastically. She knew her well. "And don't worry. In twenty minutes everything will be done." she chirped enthusiastic this time.

Bella groaned. "Great. Why you don't shoot me already?"

"I can't work over a corpse, Bella. And if I'll transform you into a vampire, you'll be too beautiful to use makeup." Alice explained and I saw, how slowly, she became angry and offended. I wanted so badly to laugh.

_It will be funny to have Charlie here while Bella is screaming_. I heard a growl coming from the living room. "Stop that thought, Rosalie or you'll be the one who suffers." I heard Edward.

"Hey, did you just threaten my wife?" Emmett to the rescue. I knew he wasn't entirely idiot. Aww, isn't it sweet?

"No." Edward said.

"Oh." Ok, he is an idiot. Edward threatened me and he just said 'oh'? I want to kill him.

"You just made me ugly?" Bella screeched. Alice closed the door after us and convinced Bella to sit on her chair, in front of the mirror. I was sure Bella couldn't see herself in the mirror. She was frustrated.

"Don't be so melodramatic. You're gorgeous." She said rolling her eyes, and then she whispered to herself. "Oh no. I sounded like Edward."

I started with her hair. It was so tangled and dry. How can anyone have this horrible hair? Another growl from the living room. _Sorry Edward. I'm telling the truth. _Although Bella was growing on me, I must say her hair was awful.

"Don't push your luck, Rosalie." Edward hissed. _Ok, ok, whatever..._

"Owwww, Rose. That hurt." Bella protested, when I brushed her hair too hard.

"Oops, sorry." I smiled sheepishly and she shrugged. She gasped, when Alice came with the makeup. Alice was holding like three bags in each hand. I shuddered myself.

When we heard the sound of tires turning off the highway pavement onto our dirt drive, Bella was already done. Alice convinced her to wear a blue dress. Bella insisted not to wear heels and Alice agreed. Her arms were still purple, although Alice tried to hide the bruises.

Well, now I have a question. How are they going to react when they'll see here is no electricity? Carlisle will fume and Esme will have a heart attack – not too easy for a vampire. And probably Charlie will think the worse, that we did it on purpose. And it's not true. It's not our fault Emmett hit his head when he was little.

"Yay. Don't tell me you're not pretty." Alice smiled wildly.

"Um.. I can't see, Alice." Bella mumbled and we laughed.

The door opened and Bella stiffened. I bit my lip. Alice dragged Bella downstairs and I followed them. Esme was worried, Carlisle angry and Charlie stunned.

Carlisle took a deep breath. "We were gone for almost five hours. When we left, everything was just fine." If you had forgotten that Bella was drugged, then yep. Everything was just fine. I noticed how he looked quickly at Bella, when he said 'fine'. Of course, he saw immediately the bruises and Esme gasped imperceptibly.

"Did you torture Bella?" he asked, his voice barely a whisper. He shook his head and then continued. "And would you care to explain why we don't have electricity anymore?" he sounded very calm, but I knew there was something beneath his calm voice.

All of us pointed at Emmett. Carlisle sighed. "Of course."

Emmett crossed his arms, pouting. "Thank you so much. I can't believe how much you love me." he mumbled.

"It's not our fault your brain had died years ago." Jasper raised his eyebrow. _Centuries ago_, I thought and Edward chuckled.

There was silence for almost two minutes, when Charlie said his first words. "Now what? We stay here in the darkness?"

Everyone chocked, except Bella and Charlie. It was dark _for them_.

"I'll bring a few candles." Esme suggested and ran into the kitchen.

Charlie shifted uncomfortable and Edward drove Bella to the couch. She was so careful with him, like Charlie would bring his gun to kill Edward in any moment. I giggled to myself.

"What is he thinking right now?" she asked Edward.

"Bells, are you here?" Charlie screamed, frustrated because of the darkness.

"Yea dad. I'm right here on the couch with E... with myself." she stuttered and she blinked. "So?" she returned to Edward.

"He is afraid that you are with me." he chuckled. "He is frustrated he can't see in the darkness." Told you so. "Esme is coming with the candles." Bella nodded, sighing. Edward kissed her forehead, then her lips and he went near Carlisle.

I ran next to Emmett. "How are you going to fix the electricity?"

"Huh? You ask me? You're the mechanic here." Emmett replied and I turned to glare at him. I was throwing lasers through my eyes. How can he dare talk to me like that? Who think is he?

"What you just said?" I said through my teeth. "Emmett Cullen, if you'll ever talk to me like that again, I promise I'll extend Jasper's dare with a week." His eyes widened up and I started to feel better.

"Don't do it, Rosie. Please. For me, don't do it." he begged and with a giggle, I agreed. He sighed relieved. "And for the electricity, I'll hire someone."

I turned again to him, this time suspicious. "Oh yeah? And with what money?" He stared at me confused and when – finally – hit him he scowled.

"Crap. I'll ask Alice which are the numbers for the lottery." his eyes lightened up and I actually felt stunned about his revelation.

"If any of us will win the lottery, that will be me, Emmett. I need new shoes." Alice whispered.

After Esme brought the candles, Bella and Charlie sighed relieved. Charlie searched for Bella immediately and when he found her on the couch, _alone_, he sighed even more relieved. He sat down next to her.

"Hey Bells. How are you doing?' he asked. Then he focused on her face and I could see the surprise and the shock in his eyes, as he understood. Bella blushed and that made the bruises be more clear. "Be... Bella? Are you... ok? What happened to you?" he asked shocked. I could see Edward's tortured expression.

"Nothing. Alice has exaggerated with the makeup." she mumbled, bushing again. Charlie looked quickly at Alice, who was now fuming, and then turned to Bella. _Alice never exaggerates with the makeup. I think this put Alice on fire._

"Oh yeah, my bad." Alice said on a too sweet voice. Bella gulped and bit her lip. Well, she had reasons to be scared. You don't know what to expect from Alice.

Alice sat on the couch, between Bella and Charlie. "This means extra sessions of makeup, shopping for a month and Edward won't be able to stop me." she whispered in Bella's hear and I laughed. The expression on Bella's face was hilarious. Edward seemed that he had wanted to kill the pixie.

Bella took a deep breath and turned quickly to Charlie, before Alice could have said another word. "Dad, why are you here?"

"I thought it was a great idea to see you." he shrugged. "It's such a bad thing that a father wants to see his child!?"

"No, dad. It's a bad thing when the father stalks his child." Bella raised her eyebrow. Charlie blushed, but didn't say anything. Of course Charlie would have come to check up on Bella.

Charlie's stomach growled and he made a grimace. He didn't know we could hear him. Emmett smirked and Edward's head snapped in his direction. Edward's expression made me think that Emmett was up to something. I saw Alice staring at him too. Emmett disappeared in the kitchen. Oh God.

* * *

***I finished BD and I love it. The wedding, the honeymoon, the pregnancy, Bella being a vampire, Edward as a daddy - awww - everything. I'm starting to like Jacob, although I hated him till BD. The ending was gorgeous. The birth was tough, but - for me - that proves the real love between Edward and Bella and Renesmee is absolutely adorable.**

***Thank you, thank you for all your reviews.**

***I'm from Romania - here everything appears ten years after its premiere, it's awful.**


	17. Worse than burning in hell

**Worse than burning in hell**

**JPOV**

Suddenly, I felt excitement and happiness coming from Emmett. I looked up, only to find Edward's head snapping in his direction and Alice's eyes staring at him. Oh great. Rosalie frowned at Emmett, as he disappeared in the kitchen. Edward shook his head, his fingers pinching his bridge nose, Alice was amused, trying not to laugh and the look on Rosalie's face was murderous and anger was coming from her. Carlisle and Esme both sighed and Carlisle hit his forehead with his palm. Charlie was clueless. Bella's mouth hanged open and she panicked, looking at Edward.

Then we heard something in the kitchen and all of us startled – well, except for Edward and Alice. Emmett was destroying the dishes.

I ran quickly in the kitchen and I was followed immediately by Carlisle, Esme, Edward, Alice, Rosalie, Bella and Charlie. We found Emmett at the cooker, with an ugly white hat on his head. He turned to us and smiled like the idiot he is.

"What are you doing, Emmett?" Carlisle asked, raising his eyebrows.

He grinned. "Cookies." all of us groaned, except Charlie. Even Bella growled at him. Charlie was... oh no! He was excited? Edward frowned at me then turned to Charlie.

"Emmett, please give me the pan and take that stupid hat off." Rosalie said through her teeth.

"Wait. If Emmett wants to make cookies, why not? I'm starving and I bet all of you are." Charlie said and we froze. Tell me that was a joke. Edward shook his head and I gulped. "Let the boy have his fun and we can help him. Bella is a great cook and I think Esme makes the best meals in the world."

Esme grimaced, in her attempt to smile. She was embarrassed and disgust and nausea was coming from all of them. Carlisle tried to maintain his smile on his face, but hearing Charlie's plan, it faded. Bella blinked at Charlie, then she turned to Edward, smiling apologetic.

This is not happening. I'm not going to help Emmett in his stupid plans. And if Charlie thinks I will eat something, then he's crazy. I won't put in my mouth anything. Alice squeezed my hand. A warning.

"Charlie, dude, you rock." Emmett punched him in the arm, forgetting he was human. Charlie winced. I sighed in the same moment Carlisle did.

"So what are we waiting?" Charlie asked rhetorically. "Let's get this show on the road." he smiled encouragingly and Bella was the first one to move – except Emmett who was already all over the cooker.

"We need flour, butter, salt, sugar, baking powder and two eggs." Bella said, with her hands on her hips. Well, at least, Bella liked this. She can eat. We froze, staring at her and Charlie was becoming uncomfortable. Edward frowned at her, confused. Maybe he was wondering if she was nuts. His head snapped in my direction and I shrugged. _Don't misunderstand me, Edward. But if I must eat... _that_, then I'll throw up._

"I'll bring them." Emmett screamed as he stormed outside. What the? The fridge was IN the kitchen, not outside. What is he thinking? Oh yeah, stupid me. He can't think. Duh! Edward nodded.

There was again silence. Bella bit her lip, Charlie shifted uncomfortable, Edward stared at Bella, Alice bounced next to me, holding my hand – her emotions were so weird, now she was excited, then she was terrified – Rosalie stopped breathing, Carlisle took Esme's hand, being scared and Esme was embarrassed.

Then Emmett came with his hands full of God knows what.

"Here they are." Emmett winked at us, throwing all the stuff on the table.

"Where did you get them, Emmett?" Rosalie asked, being suspicious. He continued grinning.

"Um... _my_ room?" he smiled innocent. That _my _word put Rosalie on fire. Her eyes were throwing lasers, making a hole in Emmett's empty head. I laughed and Alice joined me.

"Emmett, this is not flour." Bella frowned at Emmett, tasting it.

"Oh no, Bella don't taste it." Edward jumped to save her. He took her safely in his arms, making Charlie to fume.

"Don't touch her." Charlie growled at Edward and he let her go. Bella sighed frustrated.

"Emmett, please take it outside. Throw it!" Edward hissed at him and pouting, he took the _flour _outside. I raised my eyebrow at him. _What was it? Why are you so tense about it? Why it had made you forgot Charlie was here? _

"Cocaine." he mumbled under his breath and I chocked. Can vampires ever choke? The rest of the vampires stiffened and then we turned to Bella, to see if she was already drugged, since she tasted it a little bit. She was fine apparently.

"Emmett.... cocaine... OUR room.... idiot." Rosalie mumbled, shocked.

Charlie opened quickly the fridge, finding all the ingredients in there. Crap. Why Alice had to shop last week?

"So, Bella, I think you can cook now, right?" he asked her.

"Dad... are you sure? I mean..." she stopped there, not knowing what to say.

"We already ate." Edward said quickly.

Charlie turned to stare at him suspiciously then nodded. Phew. Everything will be ok. Everything....

"But Esme and Carlisle didn't." Charlie raised his eyebrow. Now it was Esme and Carlisle's time to freeze like two statues.

"Dad..." Bella cried.

"No, Bella. If you are not hungry, that doesn't mean we aren't. Ok, so let's get start it now and for once." Charlie became excited. Then I was hit by frustration, irritation, embarrassment, guiltiness and resignation. All of them coming from Carlisle and Esme. I suppressed a laugh.

Emmett got in and tried to help them. Bella had decided not to help them, since she was trying so hard not to laugh. She and Edward ran in the living room, followed by me, Alice and Rosalie. We sighed relieved when we landed on the couch.

"Carlisle and Esme are in big trouble." I laughed.

"And so is Emmett." Rosalie hissed.

"That will be funny to look at." Alice giggled, seeing the fight in her vision. Edward chuckled, holding Bella in his lap.

"Try not to beat him... too hard." Bella laughed and all of us joined her, rolling with laughter.

"That was close." Edward sighed relieved, after he finished laughing. We nodded.

"I can't believe I was about to eat human food." Alice grimaced. "That is just so disgusting. Just imagine it."

"I rather not." I shuddered. "Emmett will pay for this." I said under my breath and no one disagreed with me. Good.

I opened the TV. Edward told us that Emmett almost burned Esme – oops - , he destroyed Carlisle's pants – major oops - , and forgot Charlie was human, throwing at him the knife – that was a huge oops. Bella's anger was overwhelming and suddenly, I felt like I could kill someone. Alice put her small hand on my shoulder, staring lovingly into my eyes and I calmed down. See, that's why I love her so much. _Why do you need heaven, when you have your most beloved person with you?_

I thought I had seen Edward nodding, but he kissed quickly Bella's forehead, and took her face into his hands, staring deeply into her eyes. Ok, I think I should skip them. Let them have their moment.

"Emmett, put the knife away from me. Remember I can arrest you." Charlie screamed.

"But I haven't done anything." Emmett cried and we laughed.

"Yeah, like destroying my pants. Holy shit." Carlisle shouted at him and we froze. Even Bella stiffened, blinking now and then.

"Did..." (Rosalie)

"Carlisle..." (Alice)

"Just...." (Edward)

"Cuss?" (Bella)

I shook my head, amazed. We stared at each other and then we started to laugh hysterically, my hands on my knees. Alice fell on the floor, laughing her head off.

Emmett came in the living room, followed by an angry Carlisle, a shocked Esme and a stressed Charlie.

"The dinner is ready. Esme, I think we need new candles." Charlie suggested and Esme ran into the kitchen, to bring new candles.

Carlisle glared at us and then Alice and Edward's heads snapped, emanating fear, anxiety and disgust. Oh no. What now?

"Why don't you join us, children?" Carlisle said calmly. I gulped, hoping there was still a way to escape. Alice closed her eyes, shook a little her head, then she put her hand at her stomach. I scowled at her, confused.

"Oh, Carlisle. I'm not feeling good. I think... I think I have cramps." she mumbled and Charlie blushed. A giggle escaped from Bella's lips, as Rosalie and Edward were frozen in their spots. I saw that Bella was three meters away from Edward. Emmett was bouncing excited on the couch. God knows why.

"Really, honey? You should sleep. Come on, I'll help you." I whispered, holding her hand. I'm so lucky - Carlisle cleared loudly his throat - or not.

"She doesn't need sleep. I know why she isn't feeling good. She hasn't eaten yet, so she must be hungry." Alice and I stared at him, shocked. Esme came with the candles and put them on the table.

"But... I have cramps and..."

"I'm a doctor Alice, so I know exactly what you need." he cut her out. He spoke on a very calm voice, but his emotions were about irritation and resignation. Then I started to feel the same.

We sat down at the table. Charlie was between Bella and Edward, near him was Alice and me. Emmett and Rosalie were next to Charlie, and Esme and Carlisle were next to me. All of us had a grimace on our faces, as we saw what was for _dinner. _Steak with salad. Damn it Alice. Couldn't you have bought something else?

Bella licked her lips. "This smells wonderful. Charlie, I didn't know you can actually cook." It smells like hell.

Charlie blushed. "Well, this was my little secret. You cook better than me, Bells." he winked at her. It doesn't matter; it still smells awful. I mean, this is worse than burning in hell. Edward nodded.

"I understand you." he whispered at vampire speed.

Charlie took a bite and I just wanted to throw up. Alice gasped when Charlie started chewing. Rosalie closed her eyes and Edward shuddered. I chocked – again – when Emmett took the knife, cut the steak and stuffed it in his mouth. He chewed it and then swallowed. Then he grinned. We stared at him, frozen; even Carlisle and Esme were about to burst from shock.

"What? It's really good. You should try it." Emmett smirked and then Edward sniffed. Ok, this means my without-a-brain-stupid brother isn't enjoying eating the steak.

"Dissimulate, at least. Sheeesh, it tastes terrible." Emmett muttered under his breath. We all sighed. Charlie threw us a weird look, but returned to his steak. I looked horrified at mine.

I gulped, when I touched the knife. Alice smiled encouragingly to me, then took a bite. She grimaced when she felt its taste, but swallowed it. I tried to do the same. Cut, chew, and swallow. Eeeeewwwwww. So gross. Yeeesh! Bella threw me a funny look.

"I'm full." Rosalie said and pushed the plate away.

"But you haven't eaten at all." Charlie whispered disappointed.

"Um, yeah... but, Charlie, it's that... um." she couldn't hurt Charlie. She was embarrassed. "I think I can take... a few... bites." she tried to smile. Then she whispered at vampire speed. "I can't believe I'm doing this. Thank you so much, Carlisle. Oh yeah, and you too sweetie." she glared at Emmett and she stuffed a piece of steak into her mouth. She froze when she felt the taste and throwing lasers at Emmett, she swallowed. She blinked, horrified and anger flowed through her.

Edward's face was composed, when he took his bite. I looked at his plate. What the fuck? _Edward, are you for real? I mean, you ate the whole steak? Holy molly! This is bad, Edward. Believe me, this is..._

"I am not an idiot, Jasper." he cut my thoughts out.

Then I saw what he was doing. He was operating at top speed. He cut the steak with the knife, and then hid the pieces in his lap. I blinked at him. Why I haven't thought about it?

"Maybe you're starting to think like Emmett."

"Oh ha ha. What a funny joke, Eddie." I laughed humorless. He glared at me. Ha! He hates when I call him _Eddie._

Bella's mouth hanged open when she saw Edward's plate. "Have you eaten it?" she whispered in disbelief and sighed relived when he shook his head. Rosalie's eyes lightened up and she followed Edward, hiding her steak in her lap. Carlisle and Esme saw what we were doing, but didn't comment. Then I saw Carlisle doing the same thing as us.

"Who are you and what have you done with Carlisle?" I asked quietly, staring at Carlisle. He restrained his laughter, but Alice couldn't. She slammed her head on the table, laughing hysterically. Charlie looked shocked at her.

I put my hand on her shoulder and I tried to calm her down. She smiled apologetic at Charlie. "Sorry. Must be the cramps."

**Yeah, I know, it's horrible. I'm sorry. I wanted to be a little bit more funny. I hope you still like it. Thanks for the reviews. I love them all.**

***Oh and the cocaine is from chapter 12, when Bella gets drugged.  
**

**Did you hear about Michael Jackson? (um yeah what a stupid question. It has been on the news all day) OMG! I can't believe it. When my mom told me this morning, I was shocked *weep*. I'm so sorry. I wasn't expecting it, none of us was. This is so so sad.** _R.I.P M.J.!!_


	18. Is this a joke?

I own nothing. I just fluster them a little bit.

**Is this a joke?**

**EsmePOV**

Alice calmed down and I saw Charlie was scared by her behavior. Oh, these children. They'll never grow up. Emmett punched Edward in the arm and grinned victoriously - Emmett was my two year old son.

"I'm done. Man, that was great." he turned to Charlie, who blushed immediately. Bella rolled her eyes and ate the last piece of steak. She winked at Edward and I smiled. They are so sweet together. I'm so happy Edward found someone like Bella. They are made for each other.

Edward smiled at me. _I'm just telling the truth, Edward_. He turned to look lovingly at Bella. She blushed, her cheeks becoming a deep red.

"Um... I guess I should leave." Charlie whispered. "You, guys, must sleep. It's late."

A few coughs were heard in the living room and Emmett's muffled laughter. He put his big hand on Charlie's shoulder and laughed. "We are so glad to have you here, dear Charlie." That was so unEmmettish. I don't know but I have a strange feeling about this. Or maybe it's just Jasper.

"Next time, bring some bandages or better, call at the funerals, for Bella's sake. Just to be peaceful." he continued and all of us froze. He'll never change.

Bella's eyes widened and Charlie gulped, staring at Bella then at Edward and finally at Carlisle. I sighed.

"I'm sorry, Charlie. Ignore Emmett. He just thinks he's funny." I smiled at him.

"I think I'm funny? I AM funny." Emmett mumbled under his breath and Rosalie smacked the back of his head. "Emmett, stop being an asshole."

"Dad, everything is alright. I'll be safe. Promise." Bella nodded and I saw the grimace on her face when she promised. I'm afraid I understand her grimace. It's not easy to live with five vampires who think they are the kings of the world.

"Come on, Charlie. I'll drive you outside." Carlisle suggested and Charlie nodded, giving a goodbye kiss to Bella. Everyone sighed as we watched how Charlie's car disappeared into the forest.

"Emmett, that was very rude of you." I scolded him. He nodded pouting. "Yes mom. I'm sorry."

I frowned at him for a second, but then I smiled. I shook my head, amazed that the whole situation had disappeared. I took the dishes and ran into the kitchen to wash them, leaving the kids in the living room. Carlisle followed me inside.

**EdPOV**

I'll never get rid of the horrible taste in my mouth. That steak was the most disgusting thing I've ever eaten. I don't know how Bella can actually eat that rubbish. It tastes like dirt or worse. Bella took my hand and I squeezed it. Her warm skin sent an electric current through my body.

_Now he's going to pay_, Rosalie thought.

"Emmett, what are you going to say in your defense?" she hissed and – as stupid as always – Emmett grinned.

"You know, baby. I love when you're a bitch. It's turning me on." he winked at her. I started to feel nauseated. Bella threw me a scared look. I squeezed again her hand.

_Umm... I don't think I... um_, Jasper's thoughts were so tangled; only his emotions were strong. I stiffened when I figured out what they were about.

"Well, then, I'm afraid you will have the most torturous punishment." Rosalie hissed again, but this time, a huge grin spread on her face. I gulped, staring at Jasper, who was now throwing lustful looks at Alice.

_Where are we... Oh, damn. Forget the bedroom. The lumber room is closer, _Emmett thought, taking Rosalie by the arm and storming into the lumber room.

I shuddered and even more, when I saw Alice and Jasper disappearing too. A loud thud was heard in the kitchen as someone flew onto the counter. I and Bella were alone in the living room, lust flying in the air. I looked quickly at Bella and she started to smile. Oh no, damn it Jasper. What the hell you did?

I took her in my arms, bridal style, and stormed in my room. I put her on my bed, covering her with my pillows. I resisted the violent urge to kiss her and I mumbled "Sleep, my Bella. Sleep, love."

She frowned confused at me, then threw away the pillows. "No. I don't want to sleep." I sighed relieved at her calmness, but a new wave of lust hit us and Bella took a deep breath, throwing herself at me. "Instead, I want something else." she whispered in my ear and I gulped.

I sat down on my bed, with Bella on my lap. That wasn't the wisest decision I've taken, because Bella started to kiss me. The lust that was filling the room wasn't too helpful. My jaw locked and I tried to pull her away.

"Bella, it's late. You need to rest." I mumbled, staring into her beautiful brown eyes.

She stared back and for five seconds I thought she would listen to me, but she took my face in her hands and kissed me again. I kissed her back, my hands pulling her closer to my body, but my brain telling me this was wrong. Her hands locked around my neck, kissing me passionately. We fell onto the pillows, with her on top of me. My lips touched her cheeks, her jaw, her neck, while her heart was pounding loudly between us. We rolled on the bed, till she was under me. I felt like I couldn't kiss her enough, like we were too far away from each other, although our bodies were touching. She moaned my name, before bringing her lips to mine. Her skin had become hotter and the voice in my head - which told me this was wrong - was decreasing. Her fingers trembled across my chest and I shuddered. Still kissing me, she lounged for my shirt and started unbuttoning it. I tried to stop her, but I couldn't. Instead, I pulled her on top of me again. I whispered her name and her lips kissed my neck and then my collarbone.

Then I realized what it's going to happen and I tried to avoid it. I didn't want her to be hurt. I panted as I took her face in my hands and stared into her eyes.

"Be...lla...sleep...pl...please." I panted. I tried to see if I had hurt her feelings, but she smiled innocent. She was breathing unevenly too, her heart still pounding like crazy.

She kissed my hand. "Why?" she breathed, then she turned to stare into my eyes. I got lost in their deepness. She saw I wasn't going to say something, so she brought her lips to mine.

I stopped her again, my brain controlling me. "Bella..." I whispered, my lips still brushing hers. She blushed and fell onto the pillows, next to me. I buttoned quickly my shirt and turned to her. She was biting her lip and her cheeks were a deep red. I kissed gently her cheeks and her hands.

"I love you." I whispered in her ear.

"I love you more." she whispered back and I laughed.

"Impossible."

"Liar." she giggled.

We stared into each other's eyes for five minutes, when she, suddenly, smiled.

"I guess Emmett and Jasper deserve a punch in the gut." she grinned. I looked suspiciously at her. "I know how to beat them, without even injuring myself. Will you join me?" she smiled innocent. "I bet Alice won't see it. She's way too concentrated." she stroked my cheek, staring deeply into my eyes. A mischievous grin spread on her beautiful face and I looked suspiciously at her.

"What do you have in mind?" I asked. She giggled, before pulling herself on top of me. My mouth hung open, seeing her seductive lips getting closer. She leaned over and whispered in my ear. "Just play along with me."

"Oh Edward." she moaned loudly as I froze, staring at her. What was she doing? She covered her mouth with her palm, stopping the giggles that were about to come out. I opened my mouth to protest, but she quickly put her tiny finger on my lips. "Shhh, I'm trying to fluster them. How am I doing?" she giggled quietly, her eyes sparkling with amusement.

Although I hated to look in their minds in those moments, I tried my best. I smirked when I realized everyone heard Bella's performance.

_Huh? What was that? _Emmett.

_That was Bella? Oh, I think I should give her credit. She knows how to convince Edward, although it's hard to believe he had given in so quickly. _Rosalie.

_Wait a minute. _Alice's attention was distracted from her previous activity and now she was concentrating on the future, trying to see what we were doing. She laughed quietly. _Remember me to congratulate Bella in the morning. MORNING I said. Don't disturb us again, Edward, Jasper already knows what you two are trying to do, so please get out of our heads and let us enjoy our private moment. But... if you're trying to distract Emmett and Rose, then go ahead. Um, I think you should know that Carlisle and Esme can hardly be disturbed in... this moment._

"Alice told Jasper about your plan." I whispered in Bella's ear. She sighed sadly and pouted. I kissed quickly her lips. "But Emmett and Rose don't know anything about it." I continued and the same mischievous grin appeared on her face. I made sure they didn't hear and I sighed relieved.

She leaned over, pressing her chest on mine. I wrapped my arms around her waist and kissed her forehead. "I love you, Bella." I whispered as she looked lovingly into my eyes.

"I love you too, Edward." she said, kissing my nose.

Emmett and Rose heard us and I saw them staring confused at each other. Rosalie raised her eyebrow at Emmett, who grinned seductively at her. They had decided to ignore us, because Rosalie threw herself at him and continued their... activity. God, too many information. I skipped them quickly, before letting those images burn into my perfect memory forever.

I decided to distract their attention again, holding Bella tightly at my chest. "Don't stop Bella." I said loudly and she buried her face into my chest, shaking with laughter.

"Kiss me Edward." she purred. At the sound of her voice, I shivered and kissed her passionately on the lips. Her fingers locked in my hair, pulling her face closer to mine.

"Rose, have you heard that? I didn't know Edward had it in him." Emmett chuckled as Rosalie concentrated on the sounds we made.

"Shut up, Emmett. I'm trying to find out what are they doing. Bella seems to really enjoy herself. I just can't believe Edward gave in so quickly."

"Well, seems that our Eddie boy grow up." Emmett snickered.

"Can you shut up for a minute, Emmett? You are the one who needs to grow up. Now, let me listen." she hissed.

I nodded to Bella, letting her know we have all their attention. She clasped her hand over her mouth again. We rolled on the bed, till she was again under me. I grinned when I saw her bewildered expression. She gulped and I leaned over to kiss her neck. "Oh right there." she whispered, as I felt my lips turn into a smile.

"Here?" I asked, going along with the game. She smiled amused, before moaning loudly.

"Oh yeah Edward, there, right there." she bit her lip, trying not to laugh, as I stroked her cheek. I jumped in Rosalie and Emmett's heads. I laughed to myself, seeing that her game actually worked. Emmett was completely confused and extremely curious. They looked at each other again and before anyone said a word, Emmett ran outside the lumber room, headed to my room. I sat next to Bella, as I wrapped my arms around her and she put her head on my shoulder.

I showed her the door and she guessed someone was coming.

"Emmett, no, wait..." we heard Rose's scream and then she continued swearing to herself. "That idiot, stupid, fool...."

My bedroom door flew open, revealing a naked Emmett in the doorway. Bella's head snapped, jumping three meters up in the air and landing with a thud on the floor. I gasped as I searched for her and covered quickly her eyes. My jaw locked as Emmett stood there, staring confused at us.

_Uh oh, why are they dressed? I thought they were having sex. Bella is not even sweaty. What the hell happened here? And I was expecting a good show. Damn it. No one cares about poor Emmett. _

"Emmett, get the hell out of here." I screamed at him.

"For crying out loud, Emmett, get some boxers at least." Bella growled horrified.

Rosalie appeared next to Emmett, in a bra and jeans. She was fuming. "You idiot, stupid, narrow-minded, dull vampire. Get your ass in the bedroom and dress." she hissed at him, making an effort not to scream. She turned to us, ready to have a big surprise, but her face fell, seeing us fully-clothed. "What the... why are you... but... the noises... and Bella... what the heck?" she stammered, feeling more and more embarrassed of herself.

Emmett disappeared and reappeared in a second, wearing finally something. I took my hands off of Bella's eyes. She sighed relieved, then smiled innocent.

"What happened, Rose?" Bella asked, trying to look confused. Unluckily, all of us knew how bad actress she was. A giggle escaped her lips and Rosalie saw red.

"Is this a fucking joke?" she screamed, glaring at both of us. Emmett's eyes widened, as I laughed my ass off. Bella lost her focus and fell onto the pillows, shaking with laughter. "Do you think it's hilarious?" she fumed.

"I can't believe it." Emmett shook his head, stunned. "Bella, Edward, that wasn't very nice of you." he scolded us and then suddenly, his eyes lightened up. I stiffened. Sensing me, Bella looked confused at me and followed my gaze, staring at Emmett. "I'm sure Charlie will love to hear this." he grinned triumphantly at us, as Rosalie smirked proudly at her husband.

Bella froze too and took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. Her jaw locked and hissed through her teeth. "If you're calling Charlie, I swear to God, Emmett, that I'm telling him you appeared naked in front of me. And that you tried to harass me sexually. You'll be in jail for years, you understand me? So, be nice and shut the fuck up." she threatened him and I went into hysterics.

Rosalie glared at Bella, as Emmett stood speechless in the doorway. I laughed hysterically. Rosalie stormed in her room, slamming the door behind her.

"Ok, Bella... I'll behave, just don't call Charlie, please." Emmett begged. Bella bit her lip, worried.

"Fine, Em, fine. I won't, but go after Rose. I'm begging you. I'm afraid she's planning something against us right now." she gulped and looked quickly at me. "I think we should prepare my funeral. I'm dead."

**A/N** Enough for T rating (well, I'm still hoping there weren't too many details). Sorry for taking so long, but I was out of town for two weeks. Hope you like the chapter and review.


	19. Monday

_Here is the latest chapter. This chapter is dedicated to all my reviewers, who liked this story. Thank you so much, guys. I really enjoyed writing this._

_Thank you again and I hope you like it._

**Monday**

**BPOV**

I was sleeping peacefully in Edward's bed, having the cutest dream ever. I was with Edward on the beach and thankfully, we didn't have many clothes on. He started kissing me and whispering sweet things into my ear, when suddenly a tsunami formed and was about to swallow us. I screamed in my dream and then I realized the reason why the tsunami had formed.

Alice was bouncing on the bed, making me jump up and down. I groaned and buried my face in the pillow. "Go away, Alice. I want to sleep."

"No, you don't. It's Monday, Bella. You have to go to school." she squealed. "And because I really don't want to know what happened in your dream. It looked like it was a very... good one." she smiled innocent. What the? Oh no. Tell me I hadn't spoken in my dream.

"Kill me please." I groaned, blushing furiously.

"What beach?" she suddenly asked.

"What?"

"What beach? You were mumbling something about a beach." she looked interested. I decided to throw the pillow at her, but that wasn't the best idea; because the pillow rebounded and landed on my face.

"Ow..." I mumbled. She giggled.

"OK, don't tell me. But now dress up and we'll wait for you downstairs. Please hurry up." she said.

"Wait. Where's Edward?"

"He's in the kitchen, making your breakfast. I don't really understand him." she rolled her eyes and left the room, closing the door behind her.

I ran in the bathroom and showered as fast as I could. I brushed my teeth in less than two minutes and I dressed up. I was surprised Alice hadn't tried to convince me to wear a stupid dress. Well, welcome normality, it's so nice to have you here.

I opened the door and walked downstairs. In the living room, were Rosalie, Alice and Esme. Carlisle was at the hospital, probably and Edward in the kitchen. But where were Emmett and Jasper? That was weird.

I went in the kitchen and the smell was delicious. "Hey, you're finally awake." he said amused. Oh God, what did he hear? I hope I didn't say anything compromising.

"Yep, Alice is my personal alarm clock." I groaned and he chuckled. He leaned over to kiss my forehead. I smiled and looked over to see what he was cooking. "Delicious."

"I can't say the same thing." he laughed and put the eggs on a plate.

I ate them quickly, because Alice was already complaining about my slowness. I took Edward's hand and we went in the living room. Emmett and Jasper weren't there. I frowned confused, but seeing their calm expressions, I decided to ignore it. Well, I had to admit it. Not everybody had a calm expression. Alice was fuming right now and she had her cell phone in her hand.

I, Rose and Alice jumped in Edward's Volvo.

I thought I heard Alice mumbling furiously in the back seat. "I can't believe they are so stupid. I told him, but he didn't listen. I'll show him boredom when he gets home."

Edward pulled in front of the school. He opened me the door.

"Thank you very much Edward." Rose hissed and opened her door. Alice didn't look at us. She closed the door behind her and then stormed inside.

"What's with Alice?" I asked, as we got in. Rosalie waved at us – which was surprising – and ran to her class.

"She's angry because of Jasper. He and Emmett were bored this morning and they thought it was a great idea to put pranks on people in the mall." Edward whispered and I rolled my eyes. Those guys. Now I understand why Alice is so mad. She have seen something that infuriate her. Maybe they had burnt her favorite store.

I giggled.

"I see, but... why aren't they here already? I mean, we have Sex Ed next hour and we had that stupid homework to do." I said, but seeing Edward's amused expression, remembered me. "Oh and thanks by the way. I had to do OUR homework alone, because you were too angry over your credit cards to help me." I was starting to get really annoyed. "Do you think that's funny? I'll show you funny. We are going to get an F." I almost screamed, but he smiled. "And why the heck are you smiling, Edward Cullen?" Now I was really screaming.

"Are they fighting?" I heard Jessica's squeal.

"Love, they are staring at us." Edward whispered and I turned around to see all the students staring at us, like we were aliens. I blushed and buried my face in Edward's chest.

We stopped at my locker and I opened it to take my books for English. Edward looked amused at me and I frowned at him. "What?"

"You know, you're beautiful when you're angry." he smiled and I was lost in his eyes and smile. Before I started to drool over him, I shook my head and took my books.

"Don't think you're done, Edward. You still owe me an explanation. And better be a good one."

He locked his arms around my waist and pulled me closer. My breath accelerated, as his lips kissed my jawbone, then my cheeks. Was he trying to dazzle me? Because... oh my God, he succeeded.

"Yes, ma'm." he whispered in my ear and I felt his cool breath on my neck. I closed my eyes and kissed him full on the lips. He smiled, being happy I gave in and kissed me passionately. I was gasping for air, when someone cleared his throat behind us and I stiffened. I pushed him quickly away and turned around to find Mrs Cope staring lustily at us. I grasped Edward's hand.

"What are you two doing here?" she asked, and I was aware she was staring only at Edward. My jaw locked and I stood in front on him, as a shield.

"Nothing, Mrs Cope. I decided to have a... moment alone with _my _boyfriend." I emphasized the word 'my' and she took quickly the message. I was surprised I just said that, but seeing Mrs Cope nodding and letting us alone, made me very proud of myself. Edward chuckled behind me.

I sighed relieved. Then froze, when Edward's lips were at my ear. "You're even more beautiful when you're jealous."

I turned around to protest, but he wasn't there. He was gone. Ugh!

I took my books and I walked to my English class. I saw Angela waving at me and I went to sit with her. "How was your weekend?" she asked happily. I was so lucky I had a sweater this morning, so she hadn't had to see my bruised arms.

"Good." I shrugged. "Yours?" I wasn't the best at making conversation, but that's why Angela was one of my best friends. She didn't like to talk to much too.

"Great. I was with Ben in Olympia." she smiled. I smiled too at her. I was glad she was happy with Ben.

The teacher came in and the most boring class had started.

After an hour of pure torture, the bell rang and I groaned, when I remembered my next class. "See you in the gym, Bella." Angela grimaced and I nodded unwillingly.

I went to my locker and opened it quickly to put my books in. My mouth dropped when I saw what came out of there. Thousands of... c-c-condoms. They were falling out of my locker and everyone stopped dead in their tracks to stare at me. I stiffened, as my cheeks got more red by second and I was about to faint.

"Looks like you had a great weekend, Bella." Lauren laughed.

"You naughty girl." Jessica continued, giggling.

I turned around to scream at them, but then I saw Rosalie laughing her head off. That stupid blonde, gorgeous, skinny vampire.

"What the hell, Rosalie Hale?" I screamed as loud as I could, making everyone to freeze. I went to her, posing myself in front of her. "Do you think this is funny or must I remember you what you did last night? When Edward finds out, she'll rip your head off and I'll be happy to look at him, doing it. I thought we were sisters, but no. You make everything to infuriate me and to make me look like an idiot in front of everyone. This is war, Rosalie. You understand me?" I fumed, glaring at her. She pursed her lips, but I didn't know if it was because she was starting to laugh or because she was embarrassed. "Edward!" I screamed and I was happy that he appeared in less than five seconds.

"What happened?" he asked confused, as he saw the condoms still falling from my locker. He glared at Rosalie, as he read her thoughts. "Don't ever do that again." he hissed through his teeth.

"Ok, ok. But Bella, you started it." she raised her eyebrows at me and then shrugged. "And for the record, I did it, because you two seemed so passionate last night. I thought I should do you a favor." she said innocently and everyone laughed behind us.

"Stop right now or your car will suffer a _little _problem." Edward hissed again and Rosalie's eyes widened.

"Ok, the show is over." she suddenly announced and I sighed relieved.

We succeeded to take out the condoms from my locker, but I washed my hands several times after that. Edward did the same thing. The bell rang and unwillingly, we went to gym. Everyone was there and when we got in, I heard giggles. Damn you Rosalie Hale.

I saw Alice in the front row and next to her was a mad Rosalie. I ignored her and sat down next to Alice. There was no clue of Jasper or Emmett. I was starting to become nervous. What if anything happened to them? Maybe that's why Alice is so mad.

"They aren't here yet?" I asked and Alice puffed. Her tiny hands were turned into fists and her eyes were sparkling.

"I don't think they'll come soon." Edward whispered amused, but I shrugged. Whatever was making Edward happy, was making Alice insane. She glared at him.

Mr Mason came in and looked at us four, like we were dangerous. I blushed. "Good morning everyone. We have a very hard day, since you had homework to do." All of us groaned. "Yeah, I assume you actually liked it. But ok, so, who is the first couple to proceed?" he asked, as he looked at us. No one volunteered. "If you don't want to, then I'll choose. How about..." Please not be me, please not... "Mike and Jessica?"

They groaned, but went to Mr Mason. They stared at each other and then Mr Mason raised his eyebrows. "So, where is your homework?"

Again silence. "They didn't do it, right?" I whispered to Edward, but he winced.

"No, they did... something else." he shuddered. "And I don't really want to think about it."

"Miss Stanley, Mr Newton, care to explain why hadn't you done your homework?" he fumed, glaring at the two of them. They blushed crimson, but didn't say anything. I laughed to myself. "What do you have to say in your defense?"

Mike looked up at him and awkwardly said. "My mom... um, died?"

"That's it. To the Principal's office you two, right now. Mrs Newton isn't dead, since I talked to her this morning, so you better explain this to your mom, Newton. Another week of detention." they didn't complain, for my surprise, just walked away with their heads down, since everyone in the gym was laughing. I giggled.

Wait a minute. He talked to Mike's mom. Why I feel there is something else? "Edward, is there anything between Mr Mason and Mrs Newton?" I whispered to him, but he immediately shuddered. "Oh, that's just sick."

Mr Mason took a deep breath. "Miss Hale and Mr Cullen?" he asked, but found only Rosalie.

"Sorry, Mr Mason. But Emmett didn't feel good this morning." she said sadly.

"Ok, but where's Mr Hale then?" Mr Mason asked confused.

"Seems that he has some rare disease and Carlisle is trying his best to cure him. It's so sad, Mr Mason. He can't even eat or sleep. He was like a zombie this days. I hate to see him like this." Alice pouted miserably and I patted her on the shoulder, for effect. Edward chuckled behind me and I elbowed him. Ow, that will leave me a bruise.

"I'm sorry to hear that, Miss Cullen, Miss Hale. Ok, then, I'll be waiting for your homework, next Monday. I hope they'll be good by then."

"Sure thing, Mr Mason." Alice nodded, smiling sadly, but then cursed under her breath.

I turned to Edward. "I don't get it. What happened to Emmett and Jas..."

"Miss Swan and Mr Cullen." Mr Mason interrupted me and I gulped. Here comes my F. Edward took my hand and drove me in front of everyone. I smiled awkwardly and tried to give him the homework, when my mouth dropped. Edward already gave him a notebook, where were written pages and pages. I stared at it in disbelief.

Mr Mason read and nodded in the same moment. Edward smiled at me, but all I could do was grimaced. He knew it all the time, but he let me struggle? Oh no, he's so going to pay for this.

"You... wrote... that?" I asked shocked and he snickered. My head snapped in his direction and I glared at him. "Then why the hell did you let me struggle with it? I didn't even sleep well because of it."

"Love, that's the advantage of being immortal. I had done that homework for decades." he whispered in my ear, still holding my hand. I took my hand away from him and crossed them at my chest, fuming. I could see him with the corner of my eye staring at me confused, but I didn't care. I was angry. "Bella, what's wrong?"

"Don't ask." I whispered through my teeth.

Mr Mason looked up at us and then smiled victorious. "This is great. You really did a great job. See, children, they took very seriously their homework, because they are mature enough to pay attention. I guess this couple deserves an A. Congratulations." he shook hands with Edward and we went to our seats.

Edward still looked at me confused, but I kept ignoring him. I sat down next to Alice, who were angrier than ever. Now I joined the club, because I was pissed too.

"Bella, what happened?" Edward asked for the fifth time and I glared at him.

"That's a stupid question, Edward."

He smiled softly. "I thought it was funny to see you struggling and to see your point of view of everything. I didn't do it on purpose." he whispered in my ear and his smile was so angelical that I almost gave in. I blinked quickly.

"I'm going to think about it. Till then, I'm so angry, I'm going to... I'm going to..."

"...never speak to him again." Alice hissed.

"True. I'm so angry, I'm not going to speak to you again."

I was sure Alice was referring to Jasper. Oh poor Jazz. He's going to suffer when he gets home. Alice might be little, but she can definitely be a force of nature. Well, put Rosalie in the equation and that's disaster, because the look on her face was murderous. I want to know where are Emmett and Jasper. Why is everyone so mysterious?

"Come on, Bella. Don't be absurd." Edward complained.

"This is so weird. I'm not being absurd. Oh sorry, I was supposed not to talk to you." I shrugged indifferently.

"Bella..." he said, but I ignored him. "Bella, please." he got closer to me and started kissing my cheek. My jaw locked, trying to resist the urge to turn around and kiss him. He continued kissing my jaw and then going down to my neck. I gulped and he sensed the change in my mood, because he chuckled quietly.

"Edward." I said like a warning.

"You weren't supposed to talk to me, remember?" he whispered, his lips brushing the skin of my neck. Don't get dazzled, Bella. Be strong.

I fell on Alice, in my attempt to escape from Edward's delicious lips. She glared at Edward, but put her hand on my shoulder. "There are people staring at you, you know!?" Alice whispered and I buried my face onto her shoulder. Oh my God. So embarrassing. Edward sighed but didn't comment.

Mr Mason had read all the homework in the gym, when the bell rang. Angela and Ben got an A and they waved at us, when they went to their seats. I was surprised to find out that Austin was Tyler's partner. Actually, they were the only couple in the gym who the partners were from the same sex. They got a C, because Austin thought the babies were delivered by a goose. They're in high school, but their brains are smaller than Emmett's. The difference is that I love Emmett. Lauren and Eric got an F. They described a sex scene. I was nervous to die in that moment.

When the bell rang, I was anxious to get out of there. I took Alice's hand and went outside, living Edward behind us with Rosalie. We were safely at my locker, when Alice took quickly her cell phone and stared at it.

"Alice, what are you..." I started, but she interrupted me.

"Shh, it's the idiot." she whispered and after two seconds, her cell phone rang. I realized Rosalie's too.

They screamed "Hello." and I frowned at them. Edward chuckled and I looked at him. He smiled amused at me and I wanted so badly to ask him what was going on, but I kept my mouth shut. Instead, I jumped startled when Alice started screaming.

"I told you not to go there. But of course, you didn't listen to me. No, you listened to that idiot. That's why you are in jail right now. And I'm not going to bail you out. Next time, listen to what I'm telling you..." she screamed and screamed and screamed, but my mind focused on a single word: 'jail'.

They were in jail. What the hell happened? I don't get it.

Then Rosalie started yelling in her phone. "Emmett, you idiot. Every time I told you to grow up, you took it as a joke. Well, now I'm not joking. Grow the hell up, Emmett McCarty Cullen, or else you'll die in that prison. I'm not going to bail you out, you're going to stay there for a very long week. Do you understand me, Emmett?... No buts... Don't you dare yell at me... I must go to class." she screamed and closed her cell phone. She fumed, as she stormed to her class.

Alice was still at her phone. "I think you already heard what Rose said. So this goes for you too, sweetie. You're staying there for a week. Maybe this is the way which will make you understand that you can't bet against me... Don't honey me... Goodbye, Jasper." she closed her phone and sighed. "I have PE. See you later, guys." she waved at us and ran away to change.

I remained with Edward in the hall. I opened my locker to get my books for Trig and Edward leaned on the locker next to me. He followed my every move and seeing I wasn't still speaking to him, he sighed.

"Still being absurd?"

I looked at him and then pursed my lips. "Oh God, forget it. I must ask you something." I gave in and he smiled victorious. "What happened to Emmett and Jasper?"

"They made a huge flood at the second floor and Wal-Mart is inundated. The bodyguards found them on the third floor when they were mocking an old lady. They were handcuffed and delivered to jail." he laughed. I giggled, picturing the whole thing. "So, I guess now you're speaking to me again?" he smiled innocent and I snorted, locking my arms around his neck.

"I'll think about it." I whispered, as he leaned down to kiss me. Our lips crushed and I pulled him closer, deepening the kiss. His arms tightened around my waist, as my fingers locked in his hair. I pulled him away to whisper – I rather giggled – in his ear. "But I'm still mad."

**THE END**


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